Last night I watched Sex Toy Dave's second attempt on Millionaire Matchmaker, to find a wife, with my good buddy Lindsay aka Curious Toy Boy. All I can say is that:
IT WAS A FUCKING RIOT!!!! WE WERE PISSING OUR PANTS OVER IT
I don't even know where to begin except the beginning. The matchmaking team refers to him as "STD". Why did I never think of that with his nickname before? classic. That hardcore matchmaking chick pegs Dave so well. She hooks him up with this hot, horny bitch named Johanna or some shit. This is after he says he wants a chick that will be a great mom, have a degree, a successful job, smokin hot perfect body, not a party girl but will have fun, classy respectable type but, oh, also likes to swing.
So the date goes like this (the second date, first one was laaaame):
Dave starts by showing the hot chick how to dance on the stripper pole in the middle of his living room, stunts and all. he does them first, then helps her. Oh yeah, this is after she wants to go directly to his bedroom and he refuses. they go on a boat where she throws all her slutty moves on him to get him to fuck her and abuse her. he is so uncomfortable, we were uncomfortable watching it. slut says she's bored and wants to go home. So the team has to go back through the database and find less of a slut for him now. Dude, DAVE, you had nooooooo game my friend! That chick just did not do it for you I guess. but anyways, thanks for the roaring laughs, you made our night
