Nobody should have sex today
Out of respect for Santa Claus. We should sit around and gayly sings Christmas Carols, eat cookies and fruitcake, and make idle small talk with boring relatives we haven't see since last year, won't see again until next year, and don't want to see again EVER. Christmas should be a holy day because it is a day for elves, reindeer, and children who know it's true meaning -- getting lots of expensive presents from mom and dad. Amen!
To everyone, have a MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS. And remember - NO SEX ALL DAY.
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