DamianJ

Boomshanka. It's a reference to The Young Ones. Bless you for trying though, it's sweet.


Neil: I'm writing to my bank manager, see what you think, OK? "Dear bank manager..."
Mike: Yeah?
Neil: Well, that's it. I'm quite pleased with it so far.
Mike: Oh, well, it's a strong opening, certainly.
Vyvyan: I don't like the "dear". Sounds a bit too much like "will you go to bed with me?"
Neil: Nicely spotted, Vyvyan. What do you think instead?
Vyvyan: What about "darling"?
Neil: "Darling bank manager..."
Rick: Oh, no, no, no, no! Not "bank manager". It's far too crawly bum-lick. Tell it like it is, put "fascist bully boy".
Neil: "Darling fascist bully boy..."
Mike: That's nice, yeah, so far so good, so what do you want to say?
Neil: Well, basically I want to ask him if I can have, like, an extension on my overdraft, but I know there must be a better way of putting it than that.
Mike: Well, what about, "give me some more money"?
Vyvyan: "You bastard"
Neil: Don't you think that's a bit strong?
Mike: No, Neil, people like that respect strength.
Neil: Yeah, you're right. "Darling fascist bully boy, give me some more money, you bastard..." Uh... "Love, Neil."
Vyvyan: Not "love, Neil"! That sounds far too much like "come and get it like a bitch-funky sex machine".
Neil: Yeah, you're right. Uh... What about "yours sincerely"?
Rick: Oh, come off it, Neil! If you're going to be that sycophantic, why don't you go there now and stick your tongue straight down the back of his trousers?
Neil: Oh, look, I know, I know, why not put "Boomshanka"?
Mike: Ahh... that's hard to tell, Neil. What does it mean?
Neil: It means "May the seed of your loins be fruitful in the belly of your woman".
Rick: Ah-ha! And WHAT makes you think your bank manager's a man?
Neil: His beard.
Mike: He'll never understand "Boomshanka". You'll have to write the whole thing out.
Neil: Right, okay, here we go. "Darling fascist bully boy, give me some more money, you bastard. May the seed of your loins be fruitful in the belly of your woman, Neil."
Rick: Well, if that doesn't work, I don't know what will.
Mike: The only problem is we're running out of fuel. [scrunches the letter up and hands it to Vyvyan] Vyv, chuck it on the fire. [Vyvyan does so and all four scramble toward the fire, trying to get warm]