SimonScans

Sorry, couldn't resist. I accidentally answered a few seriously, the rest are taking the piss, cause it was easy and cheap to do so.

1. Just because someone has an expensive camera doesn't mean that they're a good photographer. - It also doesn't mean they're a bad one. What it means for sure is that they have more money than you, which makes them better at SOMETHING than you.
2. Always shoot in RAW. Always. - Stop being a nerd.
3. Prime lenses help you learn to be a better photographer. - Meh. Try paying attention, it works just as well.
4. Photo editing is an art in itself. - Yes, but it's not photography. Plenty of great shooters never set foot in a darkroom.
5. The rule of thirds works 99% of the time. - Fibonacci and Golden Section for dummies. Yawn.
6. Macro photography isn't for everybody. - Yeah, not everyone is dull.
7. UV filters work just as well as lens caps. - Again, with nerdy.
8. Go outside & shoot photos rather than spending hours a day on photography forums. - Pot, meet kettle.
9. Capture the beauty in the mundane and you have a winning photograph. - Or maybe a dull one.
10. Film isn't better than digital. - Agreed.
11. Digital isn't better than film. - Wrong.
12. There is no "magic" camera or lens. - Really? I bet you swear by Lieca/Nikon/Canon
13. Better lenses don't give you better photos. - Err, yeah, they do.
14. Spend less time looking at other people's work and more time shooting your own. - No, keep looking, keep learning and keep being inspired and above all, steal.
15. Don't take your DSLR to parties. - OK, I won't, but please, keep taking yours so I know to avoid you.
16. Girls dig photographers. - Oh, rilly? And I thought it was my charm and boyish good looks, but now I know why you don't want ME taking my camera to parties.
17. Making your photos b/w doesn't automatically make them "artsy" - Kinda does. You just hate it cause it's easy.
18. People will always discredit your work if you tell them you "photoshop" your images. Rather, tell them that you process them in the "digital darkroom". Yeah and inkjet prints are "Giclée" Just tell the truth, you used that crack of PS5.5. TO PHOTOSHOP stuff. "Digital darkroom" is full retard for photographers.
19. You don't need to take a photo of everything. - OK, I understand. Show me everything, babe, then let's take pics of the bits I like the best? Would that be a better way to go?
20. Have at least 2 backups of all your images. Like they say in war, two is one, one is none. - And why is six scared? Because seven ate nine. Back up as little or as much as you want having thought through the consequenses.
21. Ditch the neck strap and get a handstrap. - Or a jockstrap because both are great for cocks.
22. Get closer when taking your photos, they often turn out better. - Yeah babe, so you dig me?
23. Be a part of a scene while taking a photo; not a voyeur. - Yeah babe, so you REALLY dig me?
24. Taking a photo crouched often make your photos look more interesting. Midget job opportunity!
25. Worry less about technical aspects and focus more on compositional aspects of photography. - No, know the tech inside out to the point you no longer have to think about it.
26. Tape up any logos on your camera with black gaffers tape - it brings a lot less attention to you. - Black camera tape is better - it's like masking tape, only black, less sticky and does help when passing customs. If you buy cameras abroad, post the boxes home too.
27. Always underexpose by 2/3rds of a stop when shooting in broad daylight. - Dude, your camera is fucked.
28. The more photos you take, the better you get. - Yes, practice improves a lot of things. Oh, the insight.
29. Don't be afraid to take several photos of the same scene at different exposures, angles, or apertures. - Well duh. Press the fucking button! Shoot and move, shoot and move. Work out later why some work and some don't.
30. Only show your best photos. - Now all you have to do is work out which ones they are. A clue; the amount of effort or cost involved isn't the measure.
31. A point-and-shoot is still a camera. - Was there ever a doubt?
32. Join an online photography forum. - But you said in item 8 I should get out more?
33. Critique the works of others. - I do, but only in my head and only to learn from them. If they're any good, they couldn't give less of a fuck what I think and certainly shouldn't listen to me, so why bother?
34. Think before you shoot. - Yes and no. Sometimes, just reacting is good too.
35. A good photo shouldn't require explanation (although background information often adds to an image).* - It's that you are thinking about captioning that's the problem
36. Alcohol and photography do not mix well. - Awww, shame. None of those girls who dig photogaphers so much want to get drunk, naked and trigger happy with you? Photographers aren't monks, they're regular people, with the same range of bad habits.
37. Draw inspiration from other photographers but never worship them. - But do it by looking at less of their photos, as per item 14.
38. Grain is beautiful. - It's a cheap trick that works, just like them artys B&W ones you sneer at.
39. Ditch the photo backpack and get a messenger bag. It makes getting your lenses and camera a whole lot easier. - Backpacks spread the weight evenly. They aren't great for working out of, but are a lot easier on your spine.
40. Simplicity is key. - Or complexity, whatever works for you.
41. The definition of photography is: "painting with light." Use light in your favor. - No, it's
"Photography is the art, science and practice of creating durable images by recording light or other electromagnetic radiation, either electronically by means of an image sensor or chemically by means of a light-sensitive material such as photographic film."
42. Find your style of photography and stick with it. or don't. Move with the times, the gear and where your impulses take you.
43. Having a second monitor is the best thing ever for photo processing. I just don't care.
44. Silver EFEX pro is the best b/w converter. So you paint with light but only by colouring inside the lines using someone elses bag of tricks?
45. Carry your camera with you everywhere. Everywhere. No, I need to poop sometimes. And also remember, no DSLRs at parties. So many rules!
46. Never let photography get in the way of enjoying life. But don't foget you MUST carry that camera at all times. Maybe an off duty small calibre backup in an ankle holster?
47. Don't pamper your camera. Use and abuse it. Fuck off, it cost $10k and I make my living with it.
48. Take straight photos. Agreed, that gay shit is untoward.
49. Shoot with confidence. Aim for the head, and don't lead the women and children quite so much.