Quote:
Originally Posted by xenigo
And I forgot to mention... his home got foreclosed on and the bank is looking for his car. This shit just never ends.
I'm not sure where rock bottom might be. Jail?
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The foreclosure is current? In that case this may be exactly the right time, or maybe just after they actually remove him from the house. Don't loan him any money, not $10, but when he comes to you desperate be ready to call in a friend who has been there and done that. It's sad, but utter and complete desperation is normally required for addicts. Until that time, most attempts to help will either a) enable them to continue or b) spoil the opportunity to be helpful later, when they are ready - desperately ready.
I work with a lot of alcoholics and drug addicts - there have been hundreds by now. I never say much to one who isn't more or less completely broken. Until then, I can only say "if at some point you ever decide it has become a problem and you'd like to stop, come talk to me." I never tell them they have a problem. They have to decide that themselves.
Once they are ready, completely ready, I can tell them my story only up until the moment I quit. I talk about the crazy shit I did and they discover that I "get it". They may say to you "you don't understand" and that's true, you don't. So I tell my story in a way that let's them know I've been there. Then THEY have to ask how I quit.