Total turn off, unless by accident. If on purpose, tells me this chick will always subject me to the same punishment I eventually subject chicks to.
Funny story.
On my ex and I's second date, we went out and pigged out on Mexican food and when back at my place for a movie.. it kicked in. I tried everything to contain it and I mean EVERYTHING! I knew if I went to bathroom and let it go it would rattle the doorknobs in the building.
Eventually I had to go do it but on way there after standing up.. it ripped from one side of the 1000 square foot apartment to the other within 2 feet of bathroom door. Never made it to bathroom. I just sat back down and continued on. Then she took a laughing fit. Like full on hilarious burst of rolling on floor laughing. Must have been like watching one of those embarrassing nerd's first date scenes on a movie or something to her but she was pretty cool with it.. or so I thought..
In retaliation she locked the windows in car, shut off vent and let a silent one rip. I made her stop the car and let me out. Awful. But because I farted on so soon in the game, it opened up a whole new can of worms. It meant she could do it too. So dudes... don't date a chick who farts on any first dates and don't do it yourself either. Wait until they get into that "I'll just fart in my purse so he doesn't notice" mode and by the time you start letting them rip, she's already stuck with a fart-less image to attain. Works for me every time. My lady.wife.partner-thingy only ever does it if it's an emergency
Now if I could just get her to shit lavender and roses like she always says she does then I would be even happier. Seriously, how does a chick's shit stink so damn bad??? They're worse than us men. I swear. I'm tempted to make all women in my house use an out-house from now on.