i had a HUGE objection to the 3rd step, turning over your life to the will of a higher power. That alone kept me from even considering any meetings for 5 years.
But things got so bad that i decided to give it a try. i went to meetings, but it didnt work, because i did not really try their suggestions to stay clean. I kept my user friends in my life, kept the secret of my using from my family, & did not try to connect with people at the meetings. so as soon as something went south, i went back to using.
As this year began, i decided to make every effort i can to stop using. i have followed all the suggestions, got a lot of phone #s, called them, have gone to every meeting, got rid of my user friends, changed my number, told my family about my using.
I am 36 days clean after being totally unable to go 2 hours without another hit. Its all because i have new friends, who have been through the withdrawals & burning desires & provide support when i need it, & believe me i need it. I am grateful for this program because i have found it impossible to stop by myself. i simply have no willpower without the support of other recovering addicts.
i found the higher power objections were a mirage. the spiritual side of the program is not religious dogma. it allows one to develop their own views about our spiritual nature. i still have issues with steps 2 & 3, but hope to work through them in time.
great program, & if anyone is using & feels hopeless about stopping, i suggest you give it a try. it works if you work it & die if you dont.
