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When a woman asks "Do I look fat?".....
BEST RESPONSES:
"Not to Stevie Wonder."
"Big time! That's why I'm sleeping with your best friend."
"Does this tie make me look stupid?"
"No way! You look *least* fat in that outfit!"
"I guess there's not much point in asking if you mean fat
with an 'f' or phat with a 'ph.'"
"No hablo ingles."
"Yes, but it also makes you look like a pricey hooker,
so things balance out."
"No, but taking it *off* sure does."
"If I answer that question, then the terrorists have won."
"Okay, listen: What's important is that you not focus in
a negative way on the comparison I am about to make."
"Not if you were travelling at the speed of light."
"Yes, but in my country obesity suggests prosperity."
"Let me jog around to your front and take a look."
"No, honey. But just to be safe, steer clear of one-legged
sea captains."
"Whoa! A talking couch!!"
"May I consult the Iraqi Minister of Information before answering
that?"
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