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Can she please a cock? Sure, absolutely. To the fucking ends of the earth. And once that's out of the way...
She'll tell you about a new remedy she discovered for her tummy ailments. She's obtained this remedy, she's been taking it, and it seems to be helping.
However, these two sentences will take at least 30 minutes to relay to you. This is due to her going into the most excruciating detail, going off onto dozens of tangents, which in her mind seems related, and with each and every tangent going into more excruciating detail. She'll never quite get to the point.
If you stop focusing on her or try to change the subject, she'll start crying and think there's something terribly wrong with your relationship. You'll silently scream in your mind to please please PLEASE get to the point. You'll want to beat your head against the wall till blood is running down your forehead. But no, you're trapped in this situation now, buddeh...
Happy birthday.
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