GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum - View Single Post - Letterman was having a field day with Saddam last night

MarinersFan · 12-16-2003, 09:32 PM

And for all you Leno fans ....

Here are Leno's jokes from last night:

Happy Groundhog Day, everyone!

"America?s most-wanted groundhog?, Saddam Hussein captured in Iraq over the weekend. Great job America?s Army! As I?m sure you know by now, he was captured in a hole under a farmhouse. Apparently he was doing the Iraqi version of "The Simple Life?.

You know it?s ironic that they found him in a hole. Since the word "a**hole? has been used to describe him so many times.

In fact when they found him in that hole, Dick Cheney wanted to know, "how deep was the hole?? And "was there any oil in it??

It seems he was turned in by family members. Man, you thought you didn?t get along with your family members during the holidays.

The rumor was that he was brutalized during the arrest. That was according to his brother, Jermaine Hussein.

They showed video of Hussein being inspected by a doctor. And then they took a DNA sample from him. Which had to be humiliating. One day your president of the country the next day you?re being forced to give a DNA sample. And Clinton said, "tell me about it.?

At the time of his capture, he had $750,000 in cash on him. They think he may have been trying to buy three gallons of gas from Halliburton.

Reaction coming in from all over the world to Saddam Hussein?s capture. The British government praised the U.S. The Spanish government said it was a great day. And the French government praised Saddam for the way he surrendered. "We couldn?t have done it so quickly ourselves.?

You know, I tell ya, it shows what a coward this guy is. Saddam always said he would never been taken alive. Even though he had a couple guns on him, he didn?t struggle, he didn?t try to run. He gave no resistance at all. Hey, even Glen Campbell put up a bigger fight when he got arrested. At least glen kneed the cop a little.

In fact when he was captured he was surrounded by the only nine remaining people who didn?t want him caught ? the Democratic presidential candidates.

It?s an amazing story. What a downfall that is, he went from living in a palace to living in a little two-room mud hut with just a few clothes. Or as guys in Beverly Hills call it ? divorce!

Of course now there will be all kinds of charges brought against him. Hopefully the Santa Barbara D.A. will not be handling the case.

You go through the whole sequence of public events. The indictment, the trial, the sentencing, the appeals, and of course, the tearful interview with Barbara Walters.

And listen to this?more good news for the government, earlier today they found Martha Stewart hiding in a hole in Connecticut.

12-16-2003, 09:32 PM
MarinersFan Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Seattle Posts: 121	And for all you Leno fans .... Here are Leno's jokes from last night: Happy Groundhog Day, everyone! "America?s most-wanted groundhog?, Saddam Hussein captured in Iraq over the weekend. Great job America?s Army! As I?m sure you know by now, he was captured in a hole under a farmhouse. Apparently he was doing the Iraqi version of "The Simple Life?. You know it?s ironic that they found him in a hole. Since the word "a**hole? has been used to describe him so many times. In fact when they found him in that hole, Dick Cheney wanted to know, "how deep was the hole?? And "was there any oil in it?? It seems he was turned in by family members. Man, you thought you didn?t get along with your family members during the holidays. The rumor was that he was brutalized during the arrest. That was according to his brother, Jermaine Hussein. They showed video of Hussein being inspected by a doctor. And then they took a DNA sample from him. Which had to be humiliating. One day your president of the country the next day you?re being forced to give a DNA sample. And Clinton said, "tell me about it.? At the time of his capture, he had $750,000 in cash on him. They think he may have been trying to buy three gallons of gas from Halliburton. Reaction coming in from all over the world to Saddam Hussein?s capture. The British government praised the U.S. The Spanish government said it was a great day. And the French government praised Saddam for the way he surrendered. "We couldn?t have done it so quickly ourselves.? You know, I tell ya, it shows what a coward this guy is. Saddam always said he would never been taken alive. Even though he had a couple guns on him, he didn?t struggle, he didn?t try to run. He gave no resistance at all. Hey, even Glen Campbell put up a bigger fight when he got arrested. At least glen kneed the cop a little. In fact when he was captured he was surrounded by the only nine remaining people who didn?t want him caught ? the Democratic presidential candidates. It?s an amazing story. What a downfall that is, he went from living in a palace to living in a little two-room mud hut with just a few clothes. Or as guys in Beverly Hills call it ? divorce! Of course now there will be all kinds of charges brought against him. Hopefully the Santa Barbara D.A. will not be handling the case. You go through the whole sequence of public events. The indictment, the trial, the sentencing, the appeals, and of course, the tearful interview with Barbara Walters. And listen to this?more good news for the government, earlier today they found Martha Stewart hiding in a hole in Connecticut.