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Birthing With Dolphins - the new stupid parenting fad Birthing With Dolphins - the new stupid parenting fad
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Old 05-29-2013, 07:09 PM   #1
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:tongue Birthing With Dolphins - the new stupid parenting fad
?Birthing with dolphins? is hopefully not the newest parenting craze.

Quote:
If you read STFU Parents ? and you should ? you know that modern parenting includes all sorts of faddish birth and post-birth rituals. If you don?t give birth sans medication in a kiddie pool and then immediately drink a placenta smoothie, your baby will probably grow up to hate you. It?s as if labor isn?t demanding enough, so we need to find ways to complicate it. And if Adam and Heather Barrington become trendsetters, the whole thing is going to get even more demanding ? because they?re planning to experience the miracle of childbirth while swimming with dolphins.
http://grist.org/list/birthing-with-...renting-craze/
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Old 05-29-2013, 07:17 PM   #2
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Poor Dolphins
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Old 05-29-2013, 07:17 PM   #3
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Old 05-29-2013, 07:22 PM   #4
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Real mothers do it in the ocean and risk shark attacks.

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Old 05-29-2013, 07:22 PM   #5
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Old 05-29-2013, 07:24 PM   #6
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Fuck dolphins. Piece of shit pacifist faggots.

I want my kids to be born among great white sharks, so that only the fittest of my brood survive this trial by fire, making them as ruthless and efficient as their adoptive spirit animal.
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Old 05-29-2013, 07:37 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by Fetish Gimp View Post
Fuck dolphins. Piece of shit pacifist faggots.

I want my kids to be born among great white sharks, so that only the fittest of my brood survive this trial by fire, making them as ruthless and efficient as their adoptive spirit animal.
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Old 05-29-2013, 07:44 PM   #8
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Old 05-29-2013, 07:53 PM   #9
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beyond stupid...
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Old 05-29-2013, 09:14 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by Fetish Gimp View Post
Fuck dolphins. Piece of shit pacifist faggots.

I want my kids to be born among great white sharks, so that only the fittest of my brood survive this trial by fire, making them as ruthless and efficient as their adoptive spirit animal.
you want your wife and child to be butchered??

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Old 05-29-2013, 09:32 PM   #11
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intredasting.
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Old 05-29-2013, 09:47 PM   #12
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Another drunk GFY thread FTW!!
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Old 05-29-2013, 10:17 PM   #13
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Dolphins are assholes and not even fishes.
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Old 05-29-2013, 10:21 PM   #14
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you want your wife and child to be butchered??

The mare that will have the honor of carrying my seed shall embrace her sacrifice as part of the circle of life, offering her body to the sharks in order to give the youngling a chance to outrun the sea's great predators.

The kid that manages not to be eaten by the great white sharks will have proven himself to be superior to those that couldn't outrun them.

If Bruce Wayne was able to accomplish so much by watching his mother and father being gunned down, imagine what a child that watches his birth-mother give herself over to a school of great whites in order to save his life could accomplish.

I of course will be recording the whole thing from the safety of a boat so that the kid can watch the video once he gains the capacity to remember events and learn of his tragic origins.
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Old 05-30-2013, 07:11 AM   #15
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If your kid is born in a tank full of dolphins... Wouldn't your kid grow up gay?
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Old 05-30-2013, 10:55 AM   #16
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There's something fishy about this story.
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Old 05-30-2013, 10:59 AM   #17
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Before I even clicked that link, I somehow knew that the Mother would have dreadlocks.




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Old 05-30-2013, 11:15 AM   #18
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Sounds whacked. Do not want.

I read about a Dolphin treatment facility in Curacao for autistic children.
"controversial treatment"
http://www.curacaodolphintherapy.com...am/the-program
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Old 05-30-2013, 11:18 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fetish Gimp View Post

I want my kids to be born among great white sharks, so that only the fittest of my brood survive this trial by fire, making them as ruthless and efficient as their adoptive spirit animal.

haha good luck with that!
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Old 05-30-2013, 11:23 AM   #20
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The dolphin thing is pretty dumb, but not as dumb as the quote in the original post. Anyone that doesn't think birthing naturally, drug free is a preferable thing is pretty clueless if you ask me.
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Old 05-30-2013, 12:15 PM   #21
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The dolphin thing is pretty dumb, but not as dumb as the quote in the original post. Anyone that doesn't think birthing naturally, drug free is a preferable thing is pretty clueless if you ask me.
Water birth is definitely the way to go, - and a dolphin Doula may be a fad now but it is not a new practice by any stretch.
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Old 05-30-2013, 01:25 PM   #22
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Old 05-30-2013, 01:53 PM   #23
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Sounds whacked. Do not want.

I read about a Dolphin treatment facility in Curacao for autistic children.
"controversial treatment"
http://www.curacaodolphintherapy.com...am/the-program
We'll send over a couple of guppies, when ever you are ready to give birth
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Old 05-30-2013, 02:01 PM   #24
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lol I dunno why but I found this funny.
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