Wordpress Attack!!! A Cautionary tale for ALL webmasters :( - GoFuckYourself.com

CurrentlySober · 07-20-2015, 08:56 AM

It was a hot humid day when I decided to install wordpress. The AC had also stopped working so I was sweating like a pig... To be honest, had I not been enticed by the 'One-Click-Install' I would have given it a miss today and waited for cooler weather.

I clicked the one click button, filled in the details, gave it my email and clicked install. I then logged into the admin, changed my password and checked the blog... "Hello World' it said... That was enough for today I thought as I removed my clammy sweaty clothing, stripped naked and made my way to the shower...

Soon the cool water was cascading over my head and running down my sweaty back. I almost felt human again and delighted to be free from the overpowering humidity, for a least a while, so I relaxed and in doing so, let my guard down...

Big mistake - It was at exactly that moment that Wordpress attacked. I found myself pushed from behind, and ended up face first with my cheek against the cool tile of the bathroom wall. I tried to move but couldn't! Then I felt my other cheeks being roughly stretched apart... My worst fears were realised as I realised what was happening, but it was too late to stop it now. I was alone, naked and totally helpless as Wordpress began to have its wicked way with me!

I cried out at the excruciating pain as the all the templates entered me. I tried one final struggle to fight it off, but alas - No way. So, I'm ashamed to say, I did the only thing I could as I let Wordpress take me. I tried to relax but I couldn't, so I simply screwed up my eyes and bit my lip as a waited for it to be over. It kept pounding me from behind, over and over, with no signs of relenting... It was too much for ANY man to take, so I eventually lost consciousness and slumped down into the shower...

No idea how long I had been out for but I awoke to an incredibly sore pain in my back passage, rectal tearing and blood all over my legs and the shower enclosure. Not only had I been violated in the most unpleasant way, I felt that I could no longer trust Wordpress again. My life, from that point had been irrevocably changed forever.

So... Let my misfortune be a warning to you all - Please be careful with Wordpress guys - Don't let it happen to you.

Coup · 07-20-2015, 09:06 AM

do you have any more wordpress fanfic?

it's my fetish

Best-In-BC · 07-20-2015, 09:37 AM

Die wordpress die,
Muhahahahah

fris · 07-20-2015, 09:37 AM

what the hell?

srockhard · 07-20-2015, 01:19 PM

Is there any "for realness" in this or just poop as norm?

EddyTheDog · 07-20-2015, 01:37 PM

I'm installing WP in the shower now - Nothing so far...

sandman! · 07-20-2015, 02:02 PM

beerptrol · 07-20-2015, 02:44 PM

Someone has been getting high with Leroy Jenkems!

steve_o · 07-20-2015, 02:49 PM

wtf did i just read

Babaganoosh · 07-20-2015, 03:05 PM

Classic Wordpress. It likes to poke you in the brown eye when you're not looking.

CurrentlySober · 07-21-2015, 02:58 AM

Well just a big thank you to all of you showing your support for me in this difficult time. The get well soon cards, the flowers and the messages of offers of help etc have astounded me. Thank you again - I really don't deserve it!

Hopefully I shall be back to full strength soon and be able to regale you all with posts about poo again - God willing...

I have however learnt something from this terrible ordeal though, so there is almost a bright side...

At least now I know why its called a 'SQL Injection'

xxx

DigitalPimpNetwork · 07-21-2015, 03:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CurrentlySober

Well just a big thank you to all of you showing your support for me in this difficult time. The get well soon cards, the flowers and the messages of offers of help etc have astounded me. Thank you again - I really don't deserve it!

Hopefully I shall be back to full strength soon and be able to regale you all with posts about poo again - God willing...

I have however learnt something from this terrible ordeal though, so there is almost a bright side...

At least now I know why its called a 'SQL Injection'

xxx

ROFL, that...was amazing

07-20-2015, 08:56 AM	#1
CurrentlySober Too lazy to wipe my ass Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: A Public Bathroom Posts: 38,688	Wordpress Attack!!! A Cautionary tale for ALL webmasters :( It was a hot humid day when I decided to install wordpress. The AC had also stopped working so I was sweating like a pig... To be honest, had I not been enticed by the 'One-Click-Install' I would have given it a miss today and waited for cooler weather. I clicked the one click button, filled in the details, gave it my email and clicked install. I then logged into the admin, changed my password and checked the blog... "Hello World' it said... That was enough for today I thought as I removed my clammy sweaty clothing, stripped naked and made my way to the shower... Soon the cool water was cascading over my head and running down my sweaty back. I almost felt human again and delighted to be free from the overpowering humidity, for a least a while, so I relaxed and in doing so, let my guard down... Big mistake - It was at exactly that moment that Wordpress attacked. I found myself pushed from behind, and ended up face first with my cheek against the cool tile of the bathroom wall. I tried to move but couldn't! Then I felt my other cheeks being roughly stretched apart... My worst fears were realised as I realised what was happening, but it was too late to stop it now. I was alone, naked and totally helpless as Wordpress began to have its wicked way with me! I cried out at the excruciating pain as the all the templates entered me. I tried one final struggle to fight it off, but alas - No way. So, I'm ashamed to say, I did the only thing I could as I let Wordpress take me. I tried to relax but I couldn't, so I simply screwed up my eyes and bit my lip as a waited for it to be over. It kept pounding me from behind, over and over, with no signs of relenting... It was too much for ANY man to take, so I eventually lost consciousness and slumped down into the shower... No idea how long I had been out for but I awoke to an incredibly sore pain in my back passage, rectal tearing and blood all over my legs and the shower enclosure. Not only had I been violated in the most unpleasant way, I felt that I could no longer trust Wordpress again. My life, from that point had been irrevocably changed forever. So... Let my misfortune be a warning to you all - Please be careful with Wordpress guys - Don't let it happen to you. __________________ My AI Handywork... My Dream Gal... XXX 👁️ 👍️ 💩

07-20-2015, 09:37 AM	#3
Best-In-BC Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 9,506	Die wordpress die, Muhahahahah __________________ Vacares - Web Hosting, Domains, O365, Security & More Unparked domains burning a hole in your pocket? 5 Simple Ways to Make Easy $$$ from Unused Domains

07-20-2015, 09:37 AM	#4
fris Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 55,372	what the hell? __________________ Since 1999: 69 Adult Industry awards for Best Hosting Company and professional excellence. WP Stuff

07-20-2015, 01:19 PM	#5
srockhard Retired Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: PDXXX Posts: 1,976	Is there any "for realness" in this or just poop as norm? __________________ Piper Pines

07-20-2015, 02:02 PM	#7
sandman! Icq: 14420613 Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: chicago Posts: 15,432	__________________ Need WebHosting ? Email me for some great deals [email protected]

07-20-2015, 09:06 AM	#2
Coup 🚨 PBBC International 🚨 Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: /👁\ Posts: 9,931	do you have any more wordpress fanfic? it's my fetish

07-20-2015, 01:37 PM	#6
EddyTheDog Just Doing My Own Thing Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: London, Spain, New Zealand, GFY - Not Croydon... Posts: 25,248	I'm installing WP in the shower now - Nothing so far...

07-20-2015, 02:44 PM	#8
beerptrol Confirmed Asshole Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Half way between sobriety and fubar. Posts: 12,722	Someone has been getting high with Leroy Jenkems! __________________ “If we are to have another contest in the near future of our national existence, I predict that the dividing line will not be Mason and Dixon's but between patriotism and intelligence on the one side, and superstition, ambition and ignorance on the other.” -- Ulysses S. Grant

07-20-2015, 02:49 PM	#9
steve_o Registered User Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 15	wtf did i just read

07-20-2015, 03:05 PM	#10
Babaganoosh ♥♥♥ Likes Hugs ♥♥♥ Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: /home Posts: 15,841	Classic Wordpress. It likes to poke you in the brown eye when you're not looking. __________________ I like pie.

07-21-2015, 02:58 AM	#11
CurrentlySober Too lazy to wipe my ass Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: A Public Bathroom Posts: 38,688	Well just a big thank you to all of you showing your support for me in this difficult time. The get well soon cards, the flowers and the messages of offers of help etc have astounded me. Thank you again - I really don't deserve it! Hopefully I shall be back to full strength soon and be able to regale you all with posts about poo again - God willing... I have however learnt something from this terrible ordeal though, so there is almost a bright side... At least now I know why its called a 'SQL Injection' xxx __________________ My AI Handywork... My Dream Gal... XXX 👁️ 👍️ 💩