Welcome to McDonalds, may I take your order PLEASE!!!!!!! - GoFuckYourself.com

dropped9 · 07-22-2003, 10:57 AM

This is an actual job application that someone from GFY submitted to a McDonald's restaurant recently...

For all you haters, this is the perfect guidline for you to follow when it's your time.

NAME: ********* Withheld for privacy...

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens, post-it notes, and gfy posts.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

AVAILABLE TO WORK: Of course! That's what I'm applying.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday,Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job, no; on my breaks, yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

clubsexy · 07-22-2003, 10:59 AM

SportLife · 07-22-2003, 11:00 AM

Your hired!

dropped9 · 07-22-2003, 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by John Galt

(Who is John Galt?)

Your mother?

Scott McD · 07-22-2003, 11:03 AM

Reak · 07-22-2003, 11:03 AM

Hired

teenjump · 07-22-2003, 11:06 AM

No. This was not submitted by someone from GFY.

This is about 5 years old and has been circulating around the net for YEARS.

dropped9 · 07-22-2003, 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by teenjump
No. This was not submitted by someone from GFY.

This is about 5 years old and has been circulating around the net for YEARS.

You don't have to get all pissy... I already removed your name from the application... Calm down big boy...

SYNIKAL · 07-22-2003, 11:11 AM

oxygen · 07-22-2003, 11:11 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by teenjump
No. This was not submitted by someone from GFY.

This is about 5 years old and has been circulating around the net for YEARS.

way to ruin the fun

Hue G. Pness · 07-22-2003, 11:14 AM

Welcome to the internet. Please read back at least 5 years before continuing forward. :D

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&i...=Google+Search

Ice · 07-22-2003, 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Headless

You don't have to get all pissy... I already removed your name from the application... Calm down big boy...

dropped9 · 07-22-2003, 11:18 AM

Nothing like a bunch of bitches spoiling all the fun!

MassAppeal · 07-22-2003, 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hue G. Pness
Welcome to the internet. Please read back at least 5 years before continuing forward. :D

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&i...=Google+Search

as with most internet jokes, they go on for 5+ years after they were funny.

TDF · 07-22-2003, 11:19 AM

sign here-aries

damn u headless

MetaMan · 07-22-2003, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by oxygen
way to ruin the fun

stfu oxygen go away everyone knows about ur scams i will not rest!

Sly_RJ · 07-22-2003, 11:49 AM

I would hire this guy!

rjstar · 07-22-2003, 11:51 AM

Seen it before but it makes me laugh still

MadCap · 07-22-2003, 11:56 AM

Thats funny shit

C_U_Next_Tuesday · 07-22-2003, 12:05 PM

reminds me of this stupid survey i had to fill out..

of course it was supposed to be all sexual...but i quickly changed that..

the best question was "do you prefer lips or tongue"..my answer
"gross, I eat neither

Nanda · 07-22-2003, 12:07 PM

zzgundamnzz · 07-22-2003, 12:23 PM

This was on the news a few years ago. A guy applied to Wal Mart with this thing and he got Hired

eiht_98 · 07-22-2003, 12:30 PM

austinth · 07-22-2003, 12:53 PM

07-22-2003, 10:57 AM	#1
dropped9 Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Your moms box Posts: 26,727	Welcome to McDonalds, may I take your order PLEASE!!!!!!! This is an actual job application that someone from GFY submitted to a McDonald's restaurant recently... For all you haters, this is the perfect guidline for you to follow when it's your time. NAME: ********* Withheld for privacy... SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person. DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. SALARY: Less than I'm worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens, post-it notes, and gfy posts. REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked. AVAILABLE TO WORK: Of course! That's what I'm applying. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday,Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here? DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what? DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?" HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes. DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job, no; on my breaks, yes. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now. DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely. SIGN HERE: Aries.

07-22-2003, 10:59 AM	#2
clubsexy Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Anaheim, CA Posts: 1,630	__________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

07-22-2003, 11:00 AM	#3
SportLife Registered User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 94	Your hired! __________________ Blow Your Mind, SportLife. Icq: 331073439

07-22-2003, 11:03 AM	#5
Scott McD Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Glasgow, Scotland Posts: 67,795	__________________ I Buy My High Quality Traffic Here, You Should Too!

07-22-2003, 11:11 AM	#9
SYNIKAL Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 1,795	__________________ ...........

07-22-2003, 11:03 AM	#6
Reak So Fucking Banned Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: 420Calendar.com Posts: 17,920	Hired

07-22-2003, 11:06 AM	#7
teenjump So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,595	No. This was not submitted by someone from GFY. This is about 5 years old and has been circulating around the net for YEARS.

07-22-2003, 11:14 AM	#11
Hue G. Pness Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Variable Posts: 1,237	Welcome to the internet. Please read back at least 5 years before continuing forward. :D http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&i...=Google+Search __________________ GFY Voice of Reason

07-22-2003, 11:18 AM	#13
dropped9 Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Your moms box Posts: 26,727	Nothing like a bunch of bitches spoiling all the fun!

07-22-2003, 11:19 AM	#15
TDF Triple OG nigga on GFY Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: in the BP4L family compound Posts: 27,296	sign here-aries damn u headless __________________ Sig heil

07-22-2003, 11:49 AM	#17
Sly_RJ Live Hard - Die Hard Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Ready to leave... Posts: 17,042	I would hire this guy! __________________ PHAT SERVERS - Quality dedicated hosting at a quality price! sly AT phatservers DOT com - 147479144

07-22-2003, 11:51 AM	#18
rjstar Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 353	Seen it before but it makes me laugh still __________________ <a href='http://stats.ars4real.com/wmref/click.php?type=but&a=1017433'> <img border=1 src='http://stats.ars4real.com/wmref/load.php?type=but&a=1017433'>

07-22-2003, 11:56 AM	#19
MadCap Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: 137771650 Minneapolis MN Posts: 2,357	Thats funny shit

07-22-2003, 12:05 PM	#20
C_U_Next_Tuesday WW4L Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: over the river and through the woods Posts: 10,581	reminds me of this stupid survey i had to fill out.. of course it was supposed to be all sexual...but i quickly changed that.. the best question was "do you prefer lips or tongue"..my answer "gross, I eat neither

07-22-2003, 12:07 PM	#21
Nanda Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: African Safari Posts: 5,310	__________________ My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!

07-22-2003, 12:23 PM	#22
zzgundamnzz Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 6,102	This was on the news a few years ago. A guy applied to Wal Mart with this thing and he got Hired __________________

07-22-2003, 12:30 PM	#23
eiht_98 Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: EU Posts: 6,103

07-22-2003, 12:53 PM	#24
austinth Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Fantasy Island Posts: 1,770	__________________ Get A $25 Circuit City GIFT Card - *FREE*!