Canadians: The ant and the grashopper - GoFuckYourself.com

WarChild · 10-16-2008, 12:22 PM

I lifed this from another forum. It doesn't quote an original source or author.

Original Version:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

THE END

Canadian Version:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. So far, so good, eh?

The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like him, are cold and starving.

The CBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper, with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.

Canadians are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.

The NDP, the CAW and the Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front of the ant's house. The CBC, interrupting an Inuit cultural festival special from Nunavut with breaking news, broadcasts them singing 'We Shall Overcome.'

Jack Layton rants in an interview with Mike Duffy that the ant has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his 'fair share'.

In response to polls, the Conservative Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as helpers.

Without enough money to pay both the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

The ant moves to the US , and starts a successful agribiz company.

The CBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the ant's food, though spring is still months away, while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain it.

Inadequate government funding is blamed, BobRae is appointed to head a commission of enquiry that will cost $10,000,000.

The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Toronto Star blames it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity.

The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders, praised by the government for enriching Canada's multicultural diversity, who promptly set up a marijuana grow op and terrorize the community.

THE END

magicmike · 10-16-2008, 12:51 PM

lol, fuck the ndp

fuzebox · 10-16-2008, 01:23 PM

so completely true.

SilentKnight · 10-16-2008, 05:40 PM

Canada in a nutshell.

A good laugh.

Dame · 10-17-2008, 07:31 AM

That was pretty good and sounds like how things would go down

cwd · 10-17-2008, 07:35 AM

so you're saying I gotta go to the spiders for my weed now?

Doug of Montreal · 10-17-2008, 08:07 AM

That's funny... : Anyone feel winter coming on??

NoWhErE · 10-17-2008, 08:08 AM

THat wouldn't happen in Quebec though

Hazlewood · 10-17-2008, 08:08 AM

well that was fuckin weird

emmanuelle · 10-17-2008, 09:09 AM

haha! so true

BillyHoe · 10-17-2008, 09:13 AM

lol nice.

_Richard_ · 10-17-2008, 09:20 AM

hahahaha

baddog · 10-17-2008, 09:24 AM

Redistribution.

Sly · 10-17-2008, 11:04 AM

It would be funny if it wasn't so sad...

WarChild · 10-17-2008, 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NoWhErE

THat wouldn't happen in Quebec though

No, of course not. You'd be very hard pressed to find an Ant in Quebec. A few can be found in Montreal, otherwise, everyone is a grasshopper.

OnSpec · 10-17-2008, 03:44 PM

Hey... where were the throat singers?

10-16-2008, 12:22 PM	#1
WarChild Let slip the dogs of war. Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Bermuda Posts: 17,263	Canadians: The ant and the grashopper I lifed this from another forum. It doesn't quote an original source or author. Original Version: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold. THE END Canadian Version: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. So far, so good, eh? The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like him, are cold and starving. The CBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper, with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food. Canadians are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty. The NDP, the CAW and the Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front of the ant's house. The CBC, interrupting an Inuit cultural festival special from Nunavut with breaking news, broadcasts them singing 'We Shall Overcome.' Jack Layton rants in an interview with Mike Duffy that the ant has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his 'fair share'. In response to polls, the Conservative Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as helpers. Without enough money to pay both the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government. The ant moves to the US , and starts a successful agribiz company. The CBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the ant's food, though spring is still months away, while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain it. Inadequate government funding is blamed, BobRae is appointed to head a commission of enquiry that will cost $10,000,000. The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Toronto Star blames it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity. The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders, praised by the government for enriching Canada's multicultural diversity, who promptly set up a marijuana grow op and terrorize the community. THE END __________________ .

10-16-2008, 12:51 PM	#2
magicmike Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: JustPorno Posts: 2,384	lol, fuck the ndp __________________ Just Porno with both classic and mobile porn versions. Gay Porn Our mega gay site tranny porn

10-17-2008, 08:07 AM	#7
Doug of Montreal Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 1,877	That's funny... : Anyone feel winter coming on?? __________________ WANT TRAFFIC? Get reviewed! SKYPE: dougrabbit ICQ (only if you don't have SKYPE!): 267359201 Twitter: @DougOfRabbits

10-17-2008, 08:08 AM	#8
NoWhErE Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Canada Posts: 10,346	THat wouldn't happen in Quebec though __________________ skype: lordofthecameltoe

10-17-2008, 08:08 AM	#9
Hazlewood Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Toronto Posts: 1,555	well that was fuckin weird __________________ Skype: hazegsm

10-16-2008, 01:23 PM	#3
fuzebox making it rain Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: seattle Posts: 22,075	so completely true.

10-16-2008, 05:40 PM	#4
SilentKnight Megan Fox's fluffer Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: shooting pool in Elysium Posts: 24,818	Canada in a nutshell. A good laugh.

10-17-2008, 07:31 AM	#5
Dame Confirmed User Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 354	That was pretty good and sounds like how things would go down

10-17-2008, 07:35 AM	#6
cwd Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: In a dream Posts: 1,955	so you're saying I gotta go to the spiders for my weed now?

10-17-2008, 09:09 AM	#10
emmanuelle Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Oh Canada! Posts: 3,662	haha! so true

10-17-2008, 09:13 AM	#11
BillyHoe Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Vaudreuil/Montreal Posts: 2,214	lol nice. __________________ True Amateur Sites!! ICQ:124399549

10-17-2008, 09:20 AM	#12
_Richard_ Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Earth Posts: 30,989	hahahaha

10-17-2008, 09:24 AM	#13
baddog So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: the beach, SoCal Posts: 107,089	Redistribution.

10-17-2008, 11:04 AM	#14
Sly Let's do some business! Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 31,323	It would be funny if it wasn't so sad... __________________ Vacares - Web Hosting, Domains, O365, Security & More - Paxum and BTC Accepted Windows VPS now available Great for TSS, Nifty Stats, remote work, virtual assistants, etc. Click here for more details.

10-17-2008, 03:44 PM	#16
OnSpec Registered User Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 25	Kanada Hey... where were the throat singers?