Designer face masks, anyone?

[AssPirate]

NEW YORK, NY - With the Swine Flu continuing to spread, people all over the world are stocking up on products to prevent infection. Top designers are offering high fashion alternatives to the common face mask.

Louis Vuitton is offering facemasks with his trademark print. The masks are made of Italian leather, Egyptian cotton, and the finest Kentucky charcoal. Beware of imitation knock offs that are already available in New York?s Chinatown.

Donna Karan and Calvin Klein are offering similar lines of surgical face masks aimed at the modern urban dweller. Basic black cotton and denim comes together in sleek hip design that still reduces risk of infection by 50%.

Prada is offering a spring themed line of face masks. Spring themed prints or basic colors to match typical seasonal wear adorn the vegan leather masks. In addition to blocking the deadly Swine Flu the designer masks also have small compartments that make life smell like roses, frankincense, or fresh made cinnamon buns. Masks from this line will be seen on upcoming episodes of The Hills.

British artist Banksy has also released his own line of surgical masks. Each is hand signed by the artist and available for free; however they are only available in the ICU of Mexico City?s largest hospital.

Even Sarah Jessica Parker is releasing her own line of face masks, available through Target. However, analysts are expecting poor sales as a recent study showed the masks to actually increase the risk of infection. Also, because they are only available in pastels.

(written by By Reginald Cunningham III)

[AssPirate]

I want one with a Nike symbol --for Foot in Mouth OR one with a $ sign for Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is.