Neil Armstrong Now Admits Moon-Landing Was A Hoax

[AsianDivaGirlsWebDude]

My faith in science was shaken today after I read this:

LEBANON, OHIO?Apollo 11 mission commander and famed astronaut Neil Armstrong shocked reporters at a press conference Monday, announcing he had been convinced that his historic first step on the moon was part of an elaborate hoax orchestrated by the United States government.

According to Armstrong, he was forced to reconsider every single detail of the monumental journey after watching a few persuasive YouTube videos, and reading several blog posts on conspiracy theorist Ralph Coleman's website, OmissionControl.org.
"It only took a few hastily written paragraphs published by this passionate denier of mankind's so-called 'greatest technological achievement' for me to realize I had been living a lie, " said a visibly emotional Armstrong, addressing reporters at his home.

"It has become painfully clear to me that on July 20, 1969, the Lunar Module under the control of my crew did not in fact travel 250,000 miles over eight days, touch down on the moon, and perform various experiments, ushering in a new era for humanity. Instead, the entire thing was filmed on a soundstage, most likely in New Mexico."

"This is the only logical interpretation of the numerous inconsistencies in the grainy, 40-year-old footage," Armstrong added.

Amstrong was swayed by OmissionControl's use of bolding and capital letters to highlight NASA's many blatant fallacies.

Although Armstrong said he "could have sworn" he felt the effects of zero gravity while soaring out of the Earth's atmosphere and through space, he now believed his memory must be flawed. He also admitted feeling "ashamed" that he had failed to notice the rippling of the American flag he and Buzz Aldrin planted on the surface, blaming his lack of awareness on the bulkiness of the spacesuit and his excitement about traveling to the "moon."

"That rippling is not possible in the vacuum of space," Armstrong said. "It must have been the wind from an air-conditioning duct that I didn't recognize because you can't hear a damn thing inside those helmets."

"This is all just common sense, people," he added. "It's the moon. You can't land on the moon."

In a symbolic display of his newfound skepticism, Armstrong then grabbed a collection of moon rocks he had kept as souvenirs and dramatically dumped them into a trash can.
One of the main arguments posited on Coleman's website?that America could not, in 1969, have realistically possessed the technological capabilities needed to put a man on the moon?was reportedly one of the first things to cause the legendary astronaut a pang of doubt. Despite having spent thousands of hours training for the historic mission under the guidance of the world's top scientists, technicians, and pilots, Armstrong said he knew the conspiracy theories were true after learning that website author Coleman was "quite the engineering buff."

"Yes, at the time I thought those thousands of NASA employees were working round the clock for the same incredible goal, but if anyone would know what was really going on, it would be Ralph Coleman," Armstrong said of the 31-year-old part-time librarian's assistant. "He knows a lot more about faked moon landings than I ever could. He's been researching the subject on the Internet for years."

"Literally years," he added.

Addressing another inconsistency brought to light by OmissionControl, Armstrong explained he was probably so focused on piloting the lunar module that he failed to notice that one of the moon rocks visible in footage of the landing appears to have the letter 'C' stamped on it. An emotional Armstrong said that the only possible explanation for this detail was that the rock actually came from NASA's prop department.

"They forgot to turn it over," Armstrong said, removing his eyeglasses to wipe away tears. "Those lying bastards at NASA went through all the trouble to fake the moon landing, but they forgot to turn over one little prop rock. And now the whole damn thing's blowing up in their faces."

Although Armstrong initially questioned why the U.S. would attempt such an elaborate cover-up, he cited one overarching explanation provided by Coleman: that it was a ploy to defeat the Soviet Union and fulfill the Illuminati's plan to unify the world's banks and control the dissemination of information.

"Just ask Ralph Coleman," Armstrong said. "He'll answer any questions you have."

To conclude the press conference, Armstrong showed reporters footage of his first steps on the moon to demonstrate that the most daming evidence was "right under our noses." Speeding up the tape and replaying the graceful moonwalk several times in a row, Armstrong explained that the iconic images of humanity's triumphant dance with the cosmos was actually just a film of him walking backwards, slowed down, and played in reverse.

"What other explanation could there be?" Armstrong asked. "It's all right here. Everything is all right here if you'd just open your damn eyes and see!"

Added Armstrong, "I suppose it really was one small step for man, one giant lie for mankind."

Amazing...

ADG

[shimmy2]

"space may be the final frontier, but its made in a hollywood basement"

- red hot chili peppers, californication

[ModelPerfect]

It was the news report that was faked, not the landing. It was originally published in a fake news site, the onion, and later reprinted accidentally as real by a couple of newspapers, for which they apologized.

Original:
http://www.theonion.com/content/news...convinces_neil
Follow Up:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009...-landing-spoof

[Agent 488]

yeah the onion is pretty funny sometimes.

[NinjaSteve]

I love these articles

Bangladeshi papers tripped up by 'Onion' moon spoof
http://blogs.usatoday.com/ondeadline...oon-spoof.html

The Onion Keeps On Embarrassing Newspapers
http://www.techcrunch.com/2009/09/04...ng-newspapers/

[AaronM]

Nevermind.

[woj]

[Penthouse Tony]

Didn't Neil just punch someone over this? ADG you better hide.

[Elli]

"Amstrong was swayed by OmissionControl's use of bolding and capital letters to highlight NASA's many blatant fallacies."

heheh well put

[Cyber Fucker]

→ fail ←

[AsianDivaGirlsWebDude]

Originally Posted by Sagi_AFF

Didn't Neil just punch someone over this? ADG you better hide.

That was all part of the cover-up - if you watch this video in slow motion, Armstrong pulled his punch...they do it in Hollywood all the time:



One of these day's Alice...to the MOON!!!

ADG

[ShellyCrash]

According to Armstrong, he was forced to reconsider every single detail of the monumental journey after watching a few persuasive YouTube videos, and reading several blog posts on conspiracy theorist Ralph Coleman's website, OmissionControl.org.

"We've been had."

[burntfilm]

the onion wins again!

[Darkland]

Originally Posted by ModelPerfect

It was the news report that was faked, not the landing. It was originally published in a fake news site, the onion, and later reprinted accidentally as real by a couple of newspapers, for which they apologized.

Original:
http://www.theonion.com/content/news...convinces_neil
Follow Up:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009...-landing-spoof

Just goes to show you how stupid people are and how fucking worthless the news media is this day and age. But guess what, we have something to look forward too. People are only getting dumber and if you couldn't pick up on the tongue in cheek way that article was written you are completely lost.

Like:
"According to Armstrong, he was forced to reconsider every single detail of the monumental journey after watching a few persuasive YouTube videos, and reading several blog posts on conspiracy theorist Ralph Coleman's website, OmissionControl.org."

and

"Amstrong was swayed by OmissionControl's use of bolding and capital letters to highlight NASA's many blatant fallacies."

or how about....

"In a symbolic display of his newfound skepticism, Armstrong then grabbed a collection of moon rocks he had kept as souvenirs and dramatically dumped them into a trash can."

and even...

"That rippling is not possible in the vacuum of space," Armstrong said. "It must have been the wind from an air-conditioning duct that I didn't recognize because you can't hear a damn thing inside those helmets."

I guess you get the point... Idiocracy just scored another point.

[baddog]

What is really funny is the number of GFYer's that are going to accept this as final proof that it was a hoax.

[JFK]

Originally Posted by baddog

What is really funny is the number of GFYer's that are going to accept this as final proof that it was a hoax.

its NOT ??

[VeriSexy]

Originally Posted by ModelPerfect

It was the news report that was faked, not the landing. It was originally published in a fake news site, the onion, and later reprinted accidentally as real by a couple of newspapers, for which they apologized.

Original:
http://www.theonion.com/content/news...convinces_neil
Follow Up:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009...-landing-spoof

dohhhhhhhh

[Loryn]

I can't believe I even read that crap...

My God the length people will go through to not believe what is actually there and believe what is not there...but at least they can be entertaining at moments...

[Voodoo]

The moon doesn't exist. It's just the other side of the sun.

[AsianDivaGirlsWebDude]

Originally Posted by Voodoo

The moon doesn't exist. It's just the other side of the sun.

NASA actually is planning a manned mission to the Sun.

During a Senate hearing, a Senator asked the NASA officials how much it would cost, and how that would even be possible, and a NASA official responded by saying that the final figures weren't yet determined, but how they would accomplish the feat is by landing at night.

The proposal sailed through the Committee...

Actually, The Onion has been following the Moon Landing story for a long time. Here is a picture of the cover from the day of the "purported" moon landing, on July 21, 1969:




Apparently, even The Onion was initially duped...

ADG

[justinsain]

Originally Posted by Sagi_AFF

Didn't Neil just punch someone over this? ADG you better hide.

That was Buzz Aldrin.

The second man to step foot on the moon.

[Dirty Dane]

Which moon?

[justinsain]

Originally Posted by Dirty Dane

Which moon?

The moon of Uranus

[AsianDivaGirlsWebDude]

Prevent Klingons (cling ons) from invading Uranus (you're anus)...wipe them out!!!





Okay, enough of this nonsense - it's time to focus on football:





ADG

[Pics Traffic]

Originally Posted by baddog

What is really funny is the number of GFYer's that are going to accept this as final proof that it was a hoax.

Isn't it funny how a 60 year old man spends 10 hours a day posting on a board with those guys.