Do families still pay for weddings?

[Sly]

This morning I was having a conversation with weddings about someone and I mentioned the cost of getting married and trying to buy a house at the same time. They looked at me puzzled and said "weddings don't cost anything, the family pays for that." He went on to tell me how this was tradition and how most people still do it.

Now, years past, I know this was tradition. But I thought it was more of a rare tradition these days... do people still do this?

[candyflip]

My parents paid for my sister's wedding.

That was just a few years back, so I'd guess it's still a tradition in most places. I know for most Italian-American families it is.

[ottopottomouse]

I've known a few people that paid for it themselves just so they had full control and didn't get someone else's fantasy day imposed upon them.

[Sly]

Originally Posted by ottopottomouse

I've known a few people that paid for it themselves just so they had full control and didn't get someone else's fantasy day imposed upon them.

That's a good point.

Personally I would feel like a schmuck if somebody else paid for my wedding, but hey I'm weird.

[candyflip]

Originally Posted by Sly

That's a good point.

Personally I would feel like a schmuck if somebody else paid for my wedding, but hey I'm weird.

It's typically a parents of the bride paying sorta thing.

Is there something you aren't telling us?

[LoveSandra]

yep sure. like in old time

[Itchy]

I hope it doesn't happen for a lot more years but I will be forking out the money for both my daughters weddings

[Sly]

Originally Posted by candyflip

It's typically a parents of the bride paying sorta thing.

Is there something you aren't telling us?

Ahaha. Hell no.

[Marcus Aurelius]

Originally Posted by Sly

having a conversation with weddings about someone

bot malfuntion

[Amputate Your Head]

I paid for all of my own weddings.

[BlackCrayon]

only rich people and entitlment babies have things like wedding paid for by their parents. grow the fuck up! you're not in high school anymore. I don't expect parents to pay for anything. My girlfriends parents are in no position to pay for anything and even if they were, i wouldn't want it.

[Sly]

Originally Posted by BlackCrayon

only rich people and entitlment babies have things like wedding paid for by their parents. grow the fuck up! you're not in high school anymore. I don't expect parents to pay for anything. My girlfriends parents are in no position to pay for anything and even if they were, i wouldn't want it.

Yeh, that is sort of my line of thinking too. If you are old enough to get married, you are old enough to take care of your financial obligations.

[punkpred]

I sure hope so

[Peaches]

Here in the south, tradition is parents paying for one wedding. If that doesn't work and you get married 2, 3, 4 more times, you're on your own. My stepsister just got married a couple of months ago in her 30s - first time for her and the groom. Her parents paid for the wedding, his parents paid for the rehearsal stuff. That's how it's done here ;)

They DID both offer them $X and if they spent less than $X they could pocket the cash. They wanted the cash and had a very simple wedding.

[ShellyCrash]

Traditionally the father of the bride is supposed to pick up the tab on the wedding, but it is getting fewer and farther between. Its a wealth and priveledge thing now. If her father drives a lambo it would be nice if he ponied up some cash but chances of it are slim.

I come from blue collar working class- I paid for my own college, I bought my first car, no one gave me the down payment on the house, etc.

[NaughtyRob]

Depends if the parents can afford it or not. My wife's parents paid for the reception, over $5,000.

[DBS.US]

Weddings are a big scam

[Raja]

Paid for one wedding ourselves and the second is being mostly paid for by my parents. They want the big Indian wedding, so they have to pay for it.

[bbobby86]

i think yes...

[ShellyCrash]

Originally Posted by Raja

Paid for one wedding ourselves and the second is being mostly paid for by my parents. They want the big Indian wedding, so they have to pay for it.

I've never been to a traditional indian wedding, but a friend of mine had one and the pics she showed me were amazing.

[PornstarXS]

well as an Italian-Canadian i can tell you the only planning that goes into weddings are when the parents find out their daughters are knocked up. Better a facade than being a single mom and parents will pay big cash to speed up the weddings just to say the baby was born premature. it's especially a woodbridge thing

[CyberHustler]

I paid for my own shit... court house marriage. If I were to ask my family to pay for my marriage I would get the face...

[quiet]

i paid my own way. waste of money. the next will be low key on a beach somewhere in s.e. asia with max 12 people. my dad did pay for my brother's wedding however. i'm not exactly mad about it, but kind of, sort of, still leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

[O MARINA]

Originally Posted by Raja

They want the big Indian wedding, so they have to pay for it.

Are you saying we will not dance to Hava nagila? What do I wear omg

[O MARINA]

Originally Posted by ShellyCrash

I've never been to a traditional indian wedding, but a friend of mine had one and the pics she showed me were amazing.

You can come as my date, to Rajas.

[AmeliaG]

I think a combination of people living longer, adolescence being culturally extended, and our economy being totally hosed has lead to parents being able to do fewer traditional things for their children. If "kids" are getting married in their 30's, having their own kids in their 40's and parents are living to around 100, the math on who can pay for a wedding or a house down payment just really changes.

[IllTestYourGirls]

Originally Posted by DBS.US

Weddings are a big scam

This

[kane]

I'm not married, but most of my friends are. Of them all, none of them had family pay for the full wedding. With my brother and another friend of mine the family paid for part of it and the others just paid for it themselves.

I think this tradition is one of those that is going by the wayside pretty quickly.

[ShellyCrash]

Originally Posted by O MARINA

You can come as my date, to Rajas.

I wish- I would love to. I'm almost tempted to post pics of my friend's wedding but as she's not in adult she would probably murder me. Not the place, but it was sooo beautiful.

[Konkan]

Originally Posted by Amputate Your Head

I paid for all of my own weddings.

Me too. Fuck it it cost a fortune but wtf? when you wanna get marry with a girl you love you are gonna pay a lot!!!!

[blonda80]

My parents paid for my brother's wedding. I would not agree with this because I would like my wedding to be how I like it not how they afford it or want it.

[fatfoo]

A wedding does not have to expensive. A wedding can lead to the husband and wife having a shared bank account and shared assets.

[Mutt]

it's still traditional for the bride's parents to pay for the wedding but all the stuff that Amelia posted has changed that for many. i don't think two people in their late 30's with decent jobs getting married want their parents who are probably near retirement paying for a wedding. i still think in upper middle class and rich families and certain ethnic groups the tradition of the bride's old man ponying up for the wedding still is pretty common.

people spend sick money on weddings. knowing how bad the success rate is these days with marriages makes it seem even more wasteful and dumb.

[ottopottomouse]

Originally Posted by Mutt

people spend sick money on weddings. knowing how bad the success rate is these days with marriages makes it seem even more wasteful and dumb.

It always seems to me the more expensive the wedding the more likely it is to go tits up quite badly quite fast.

[Ross]

I've been to Weddings where family paid - the females family usually - and Weddings where the couple getting married paid. I guess it depends what sort of family you are from, if they can afford to cover it or not. In the end, Weddings cost every single person attending a fair amount of cash. Its a money pit for all involved.

However, I would like to think when the time comes, if I have a daughter I'd cover her wedding. If I have a son, he will get a bigger deposit for his first house/apartment.

[Fletch XXX]

parked outside Beverly Hills court house. put in couple dollars worth of quarters.

License was like $75, just me and the wife at ceremony. Neither of us wanted a big wedding. All in all the ring was the only expensive thing, bought myself a cheap wedding band. I know people paid 25k for a wedding and were divorced the next year. My "wedding" cost under $100, aside from rings. lol

[BlackCrayon]

Originally Posted by ottopottomouse

It always seems to me the more expensive the wedding the more likely it is to go tits up quite badly quite fast.

yep, its like they are trying to prove something.

[Peaches]

See, it's just different in the south. Here the mother starts planning for the wedding the minute she finds out her child is a girl ;) My parents were divorced so my Dad paid for most everything with the wedding and my mother paid for the bridesmaid luncheon and my ex's parents paid for the rehearsal dinner. When I called my Dad, crying my eyes out and telling him I was getting a divorce, his FIRST words were "Fathers only pay for one wedding". Not "Oh sweetheart, I'm sorry - what do you need", lol!

My brother got married 10 years ago when he was 34. First wedding for both. Not only did the parents pay for everything, they got MASSIVE gifts even though they already had two entire households of everything they would need! They exchanged a lot. We do weddings big here.

[BlackCrayon]

Originally Posted by Peaches

See, it's just different in the south. Here the mother starts planning for the wedding the minute she finds out her child is a girl ;) My parents were divorced so my Dad paid for most everything with the wedding and my mother paid for the bridesmaid luncheon and my ex's parents paid for the rehearsal dinner. When I called my Dad, crying my eyes out and telling him I was getting a divorce, his FIRST words were "Fathers only pay for one wedding". Not "Oh sweetheart, I'm sorry - what do you need", lol!

My brother got married 10 years ago when he was 34. First wedding for both. Not only did the parents pay for everything, they got MASSIVE gifts even though they already had two entire households of everything they would need! They exchanged a lot. We do weddings big here.

its just a huge waste. what does spending 20-40k prove? fuck all.

[Peaches]

Originally Posted by BlackCrayon

its just a huge waste. what does spending 20-40k prove? fuck all.

It doesn't prove anything and in most cases, isn't meant to be. People aren't going into debt over this - they're just having a big fun party. We love excuses for having a big fun party and weddings are the very best People will come in from out of town, wear fancy clothes and you get to be very drunk and no one cares.

One friend of mine got married to a very wealthy man recently. Her first marriage, his 4th. Her mother had paid for her other two daughter's weddings so even though the friend is in her 40s and the other daughters got married in their 20s, the mother still paid for stuff. Not everything by a long shot, but she contributed because she felt it was her duty.

Now, when my cousin was engaged and her Daddy forked out a small fortune for the wedding and the groom called it off the night before, her Daddy DID get his money back from the groom - and no one partied.

[ottopottomouse]

Originally Posted by Fletch XXX

parked outside Beverly Hills court house. put in couple dollars worth of quarters.

License was like $75, just me and the wife at ceremony. Neither of us wanted a big wedding. All in all the ring was the only expensive thing, bought myself a cheap wedding band. I know people paid 25k for a wedding and were divorced the next year. My "wedding" cost under $100, aside from rings. lol

I get people look at me like i'm bonkers when I say that's the sort of thing i'd do. Glad i'm not alone.

[quiet]

i like the new fletch a lot ;)

[MetaMan]

Originally Posted by Sly

That's a good point.

Personally I would feel like a schmuck if somebody else paid for my wedding, but hey I'm weird.

the fact that you are male, sit around and chit chat about weddings makes you weird in the first place.

[BlackCrayon]

Originally Posted by Peaches

It doesn't prove anything and in most cases, isn't meant to be. People aren't going into debt over this - they're just having a big fun party. We love excuses for having a big fun party and weddings are the very best People will come in from out of town, wear fancy clothes and you get to be very drunk and no one cares.

One friend of mine got married to a very wealthy man recently. Her first marriage, his 4th. Her mother had paid for her other two daughter's weddings so even though the friend is in her 40s and the other daughters got married in their 20s, the mother still paid for stuff. Not everything by a long shot, but she contributed because she felt it was her duty.

Now, when my cousin was engaged and her Daddy forked out a small fortune for the wedding and the groom called it off the night before, her Daddy DID get his money back from the groom - and no one partied.

People aren't going into debt over it? Yeah right. Unless everyone you know is wealthy its impossible not to go into debt. Either way, I'd sooner never get married than spend that kind of money on a 'big party'. My girlfriend agrees. To quote her, spending that much on one day is 'mental'. You'd be better off using the money to put down on a home.

[kmanrox]

sheeit, i was expected to not only pay for the wedding but also pony up a dowry of more than 100k... I paid for the wedding but mom did NOT get her dowry.

Welcome to Thailand.

[NetHorse]

Assuming families support the marriage I'd say it depends on their financial situation. A good friend of mine is getting married this fall and neither family can afford to pay for their wedding. Lets just say it's going to be a small wedding.