Avril Lavigne What The Hell Single .. T-Rain FreeStyle and ALso A vid of how avril loves me..
 

this is a quick freestyle i made.. Plus Avrill Does a certian shoulder shake for me and here also is a video of some one doing the shoulder shake in the front row of avrils new years show..





this has the shoulder shake...

She is BEAUTIFUL. She gets better looking every year.

you really think she loves you?

they really need to increase the dosage of your meds

You dont understand the shoulder shake... It shows that at least she remembers some things about me and hopefully she will come help me out of this hole of a group home im in.. I like the people here but the walls talk to me and I need somewhere with alot less people around to try and cope with my issues..

What are your issues?

Live life. Dont bother trying to be perfect. Make your music. Then thats about it.

I here things and i get so anxious i feel I can make things people can see and also have a aperation of people around me and let it get drug around and like alot of other things like that and many worse things things that mess me up..

Like lets say i was standing next to a girl or thinking of one standing next to me she whould get like dragged towards other people and i can see like ya know the belly things on donny darko that is that invisable thing its liket that but the whole person draged liek at anyone or thing i really cant handle.. I strain to look away and try to drag the aperation away from some one...

She should stop writing and just stick with the old stuff.

What is this all about?

Being insane :2 cents:

I would aim higher "musically"...

I whouldent mind if she whould teach me guitar.. but anyways he is another one i just made now.. It destorts a bit in there..

So like the rabbit in Donny Darko? I am trying to understand.

So your personal reality doesnt seem "real" but to you it is "real"?

No its the like things that come out of there stomics that he follows up the stairs to his moms room and finds the gun.. It just is like a see threw aperation of the whole person and they like strech and go towards people and usualy in bad places..

To tell the truth I went crazy by doing a reflective phase of my life from like after high school to a time where i was working alot with media and celebs and stuff and sence i was alone for so long time I have a distorted vision between real and made up things i did with the people i was working around with at the begining..

Then I set cozy with my half made up half reflective storys and things that i really did.. I started talking to myself and it got so bad I had nothing to do so i was like 10 years of this with no friends that came over no phone no internet just basic tv and a radio and I whould like talk to the celebs to my self answering my self as both partys.. so this leads to me not knowing what is real and Another thing is my cousin is in death cab for cutie and I dont know how we left off when i did strike out for this 10 year period of crazy scitzo talking back and forth between myself so I dont know how to talk to him about my music i do make myself now..

So to bring it to avril I have a few things i do believe That we knew each other but there are alot of made up things so I really cant tell.. Like check this.. As im speaking right now I can see her apperation of her and also a slight warmness of her or anyone else that is hooked to this.. I could talk for hours about things i made up but its the real things that Im trying to figure out now..

but becides that Im good here in a warm dry bed with 3 meals and a internet I can try to make it back sucessful again...

She is superhot

she is sexyyyy

Kinda understand. So basically you over reflected and kind of drove yourself a little off the wall thinking about certain things?

Id try to reflect less about the past, the past cant exactly be figured out and is never perfect anyway. At least you are honest with yourself so that is a good thing.

If you feel safe and better where you are then that is a good thing also. probably something you cant "fix" and maybe shouldnt view it as "fixing". everyone is a little different so hopefully u dont feel bad about that.

whenever i feel like im going off the deep end i try to focus on things i can control around me or get back to the basic of things i enjoy. no matter how small they are.

if you like your music keep on doing it, it is for sure a good outlet.

have you ever thought about rapping about your own personal experience rather then just avril?

Well I used to have alot more music about me but my stupid side likes to destroy it by taking it all off youtube and then have my external hd blow up and lose over 400 songs..

Its not that I worry about the past any more now and for awhile sence I have been back on the net and had cable tv way back then was I off all about the reflecting that i did.. That I thanks the girls at CamsAtHome.com In the the voyer house part a big step for me back in talking to live human beings again.. you can go there then click the drop down box and hit voyer house..

I started making song about them and putting em up on myspace..


here is one about myself and I really wish i had all my old music.. I could listen all day and play around on the net..

haha dude that is actually pretty good.

def keep yourself open to people. i can tell you i had to sit basically by myself for 6 months working. day in and out. non stop with barely any sleep. little to no communication with the outside world. and i know the exact feeling of feeling isolated and how it can hurt your head.

remember humans are a social animal for a reason. no matter how bad things seem not worth isolating yourself over them.

hopefully you never isolate yourself again.