My First Hemorrhoid
 

This is a bit embarrassing - but I've embarrassed myself at GFY on numerous occasions over the last ten years, so who cares?

I'm 47 years old, and I have finally gotten a hemorrhoid I can call my own. I used to think hemorrhoids were funny. SON OF A BITCH! This is a pain in the ass. I can't even shift my weight at my desk without having this tiny - yet fleshy - bundle of nerves shoot pain up my spine.

My doctor thought it was funny, too. He recommended I try Prescription H. Har har. Doesn't fucking work!

I want it gone NOW. I'm thinking a pair of tweezers and a lighter will work.

Use a cannabis based salve. It will reduce the inflammation and stop the pain. :2 cents:

congratz to the winners

It's your "not gay" certification ...

Links pulled!

Get a pillow with a hole in the middle so you can sit

go to a real doctor, get it removed. surgically. go early. dont wait till it gets worse. thank me later

you have to sit with your knees equal to or slightly lower than your butt, it will be gone in less than a week if you do.

butt lower than knees while sitting = hemorroids , ask any trucker.

I stopped having hemorrhoids when I switched to eating more oatmeal for breakfast.

Not only did my rrhoids disappear, I also lost 50 pounds when I went on a low carb / high protein veg diet.

The only way to take care of them is to have them removed. If a doctor says, "we don't remove them anymore"...find one who does.

Trust me on this one. I have major colorectal issues and they all started right where you are starting now.

push it back in... trust me it works

Get your woman to chew it off, it will bleed a lot but that stops in about a month or two :thumbsup

Thanks for letting us know...

this thread stinks LOL

You are no way near surgery just yet lol,drink lots of water and more fiber in your diet.try getting internal bleeding hemorrhoids for awhile.you would think you were dying :)

Never had a hemrhoid, but i will tell you what I do have. I get pilonidal cysts, you can read about them http://www.pointsincase.com/articles...of_my_tail.htm

Anyways, Its basically a cyst in your buttcrack. Some people are born with it. Its re-occurring. It is terribly painful and can get the size of a golf ball making it impossible to even stand up straight.

Theres not much you can do about it aside from waiting for the thing to explode in all its creamy-bloody glory. Its disgusting.

I had surgery on it a few years ago and that alleviated the thing ever returning to the size of a golf ball but its still annoying when it comes back and if it happens to pop while your out somewhere it makes it appear you shit your pants.

Thought I would share:)

Had one bad for quite awhile.. A part of getting old I guess.. And sitting in a office chair all day doesn't help. And yes the most embarrassing part is if something happens when your out. And it usually does. I agree with the elevated knees part. My chair reclines and I always keep my legs/knees up.. I've heard of the circular pillow as well but didn't get one. I thought surgery was going to have to happen as well but I think I've finally got it gone..

Looks scary :helpme

Congrats, I guess...

Sit in a shallow bath of warm water for 20 mins, 2 or 3 times a day - Apply Prep H or anusol after each session..

Buy those mini rockets and stick it in your ass

Did you drink alot of alcohol and eat processed foods when your were young?

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-Do-You...oids?&id=29837

Take care of your body.... and it wont start to fall apart after 40.

an asshole with asshole issues. Go figure.

congrats to the winners... :thumbsup

unlucky, not looking forward to potentially getting on of those... in 20 years+ :P

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

That's exactly what I say all the time too. :1orglaugh

congratulations. you should crack open a bottle of hemorrhoid champagne!

It's a big day! Enjoy! It won't last forever so spend every minute that you can with it before its gone.

:1orglaugh