Annoying Things That Happen During Sex?
 

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The bed starts squeaking and you know the neighbors can hear it.. or the phone rings?and she picks it up! :winkwink:

I hate when I have to piss during sex, can't focus and can't bust my load

I would imagine sharting being near the top of the list...

I once fell out of bed and ended up having to get stitches in my head. I was getting it doggy style and I backed up a little too far and my knee slipped off the edge of the bed. I crashed to the floor and hit the back of my head on the corner of the bedside table.

yup, so would smelly farts:helpme

Penile fracture.

I didn't write the terrible English in this joke, but it's still mildly amusing
---------------------------------
Once a girl is quite fantasised about "69". She has a regular boyfriend
they have never done it before.

One day she invites her boyfriend to her apartment for romantic dinner.
After heavy dinner, she tells him that she wants to do "69". But the
Boyfriend doesn't have any idea about what is 69. Girlfriend gets upset
but thinks that she can teach him how to do 69. she asks him to lay
down...and she then lays on top of him in reverse direction so as in 69.
The boyfriend is confused but is eager to know about 69. So he does as
the GF tells him to do.

They lay down in this position for about 2 min. She is thinking that he
will, by the time, get excited by this. but suddenly the GF has to let
go one Fart...directly on her BF's face.

GF quickly apologises and asks him to stay in that position for some
more time. After 1 min she has to let go one another fart....this time
bigger than the previous.

The BF quickly throws her away, gets up, starts dressing up and yells at
her.. "If you think I am gonna take 67 more like this, you are MAD"

She want's to charge extra when you piss on her.

.

my dog tries to get on the bed and lick/smell whats going on

pussy farts.

The worst thing that happens to me during a really good sex session, and it happens quite often...



is that I wake up :(

:1orglaugh That made me chuckle

cut my knee open on a mattress spring once, that was totally uncalled for.

I broke my pinkie toe while having sex once... When I was the Marines.

I passed out while munching box once, true story

She turned to be a woman and not a tranny ...

I piss into her vagina.

you were fucking a marine?

I hate annoying sex

AGREE! Those can be annoying and make me wanna laugh.

Especially when you are gaping that shit hole and it happens.

One time I was randomly walking in the ghetto a few years ago getting some weed, then I ran into some random ghetto black girl that wanted to hook up at her place.. Since I was high I didn't really think of saying no so we go back to her apartment and start going at it in her room.
Then someone knocks on the door and she looked really surprised and said 'Wait here, I'll get rid of them'. So I'm in the room alone with about 10 ghetto people in the living room, so I just got dressed and left out the front door and heard a lot of bs like 'OH WHAT THE FUCK IS WHITEY DOING HERE?!' and I never went there again... :upsidedow

Condoms.

midgets can be really annoying too...

You were getting it? I did not realize you were bisexual.

Her husband came home early.

No, he WAS the Marines - the whole fucking Marines.

Mental note: do NOT fuck with Rochard.

Lol I guess I should have said, I was hitting it.:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

cats jumping around, or clawing at the door to get in.
ds

We had to move into an apartment last week because our house got flooded, and on Sunday morning we got woken up with the couple above us fucking hard at 8am.

It went on for ages. I actually laughed every time it got faster, and when i could hear the moans of the chick.

I'm now curious as hell to find out what she looks like. I know who the dude is because he introduced himself yesterday as he thought we had moved in here permanently. I wanna see the chick though so i can basically say "i've heard you scream while getting drilled you dirty slut" :1orglaugh

gotta be pussy farts, it just kills the sex and u end up in a heap of laughter

I enjoy that. Infact i encourage her to answer when we are fucking.

A few times her mom has foned and i've made her pick up. Something about my gf riding my cock while talking to her mom all innocent seemed to work for me... :1orglaugh

My GF calling me :mad:

When I get a cramp in my leg! ;)

I shot a load once that landed on the lightbulb of the lamp on my head board, busting the bulb into shards that landed all over including in my girlfriends hair and on the waterbed.

It was a hell of a thing to extricate myself carefully in the dark, ask her not to move, and go get the main light turned on to clean that mess up without her or the bed getting punctured.

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Not sure about annoying, but was weird for sure. I was sucking this guy's dick one time when he called his wife and put me on the phone with her while his dick was in my mouth. She talked about how good he fucked and asked if I wanted him to fuck me. We talked for a few minutes then she said to put him on the phone and she would make sure he fucked me good.

Long ago I moved into an apartment and about a week after moving in one afternoon I hear this strange noise. I walk around the place trying to figure out what it was and then I hear the girl who lives below me cry you, "Fuck me harder!" I started laughing. It turns out she was seeing 2 guys at once and they didn't know about each other until one night when they both showed up at the same time. It was a little like living above the Jerry Springer Show.

you've been trying to fuck hard while she's reading the newspaper :D

:Oh crap

Damn that looks painful

The awkward good bye such as ?Well,this was really great sex.? ?I?ll see you around??

I had a chick barf on me when gagging on my cock..

pussy farts

:1orglaugh a cousin of mine had that that kind of fracture, I still remember him that and laugh.

When the chick I am fucking has an annoying boyfriend/husband texting/calling and her fucking phone keeps going off!
{Turn your phone off when we're fucking, bitch!}

...when the cops bust in and make everyone leave the rest stop bathroom...

when the bloodflow returns to my left hand and I realize i'm just jerking myself off again....