Four years worth of education in this thread
 

Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.

Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.

Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.

Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.

Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..

Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.

A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.

An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy...

Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'

Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

Apathyologism: You have 2 cows. You do not care.

Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...

Atheism: You have 2 cows. There is no God.

A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.

A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.

PETA: You have two cows. You kill them both. You then use naked women to convince other people that killing cows is wrong.

Romney: You have 2 cows. You are not the president of the united states.

Old Spice: You have 2 cows. The cows are now diamonds. I'm on a horse.

Tumblr: You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.
Hipster: You have two aurochs. You kill one and fashion it into an original leather outfit. You take pictures of the other for instagram and use its milk for Starbucks coffee.

Cuilism: I give you a hamburger.

that was fucking funny!

Move out of your parents place, you will have more freedom out there.

But then he would miss his mom's Hamburger Helper night :helpme

:1orglaugh

Nice one.

The only problem is the first one. You imply that in Socialism, you can voluntarily decide to give your neighbor a cow.
Actually it should read:

Socialism: You have 2 cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.



Some funny ones though! :thumbsup


.

GFYism: You start by mentioning you have two cows for sale, then you post a few pics of naked women in an unrelated thread and ask if anyone would hit it. Half the replies are from people who would rather mate with the cows, the others are from cow 'experts' who claim the government has been giving away two cows to people for decades as part of an impossibly complex conspiracy. In the end you have the two cows you started with plus a whole lot of bull. ;)

eh, i don't think that's correct

Ok. So how would you explain socialism. Does the government ASK you if you would pretty please share with the less fortunate?





.:winkwink:

actually thats the main difference between socialism and communism. government involvement is a lot less

that's right. There is a difference outlined in the OP. Communism takes both cows.

However this does not change the fact that under Socialism the government takes one cow. Look at what is happening in France right now, under a socialist President. If the "super rich" don't pay the government 75% of their income, will the government simply say, "Ok then. We asked, but if you don't want to, then no problem"? Or will the government send people with badges and guns and take them to jail?

Don't kid yourself. Sure, socialism is communism-lite, but don't think that people share as a voluntary act under socialism.




:2 cents:.
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-X88tUG0YM0...n-Jillette.jpg

Paul Markham : Milking cows is easy, shooting great content and selling it to magazines for $3000 a scene non exclusive like I did in the 80's, now that takes real skill.

DamainJ : I had two cows but lost them doing a cheap magic trick. Has anyone seen my cows ?

Dvtimes : Mi cowws liv in my council flat wiv me. I take pics an vids of them and call it porn.

Roald : I am such a fucking Whale who needs cows.

Johnnyclips : My cows are not cows, they are sheep. You are all sheep. David Icke is the messiah. Mind control. Blah blah blah fucking blah.

Shap : I had the coolest gold plated cows, but Manwin coveted my ass. Now you all want to be the Shapster.

DWB : The best cows may or not be bulls. You pay you money you take your chances.....

Fabian : You might have bought a cow, you might have fed it and cared for it - but I am taking the milk whether you like it or not. Ok you dont like it - what are you going to do about it ?

not gonna lie, i haven't followed france or will not follow it, but if thats how they are functioning then i would guess that its not real socialism

Actually you got it all wrong > Communism is the lite version of Socialism :))
in Communism:
- you don't pay taxes,
- don't pay for a house,
- no rent
- no mortgage
- no worries about your business is getting fucked by some big american corporation (because you have no business)
- no stupid elections
- no worries about choices you have to make (everything is already chosen for you)
- much healthier food (it's true it's only rice ...but what the hell :D)
- no bankruptcy
- no unemployment

Socialism: You recognize that having 2 cows while other people around you are starving is LESS beneficial than having all the milk and meat you can eat while making sure others have at least enough so that they do not starve. Nobody takes your cows or the milk that you need... but if you find a way to make enough milk and meat for 50 people out of your two cows the government requires you to help many other people not starve once you have gotten good and fat. In return, if your two cows die - which eventually happens to all cows, you can be sure you and your family won't starve either because someone else with cows will make sure you have at least enough to survive.

Socialsm is evil.

Apparently you don't see the contradiction in your own statement....






.:2 cents:

Name a socialist government that lets people decide whether or not they wish to "help others" voluntarily... NAME ONE PLEASE....




.:upsidedow

There's no functioning example of pure socialism currently.

Or even close to it really.

Just because someone's party is called "socialist", doesn't mean they're, by definition, socialist. :2 cents:

so·cial·ism

noun /ˈsōSHəˌlizəm/ 

A political and economic theory of social organization that advocates that the means of production, distribution, and exchange should be owned or regulated by the community as a whole

Policy or practice based on this theory

(in Marxist theory) A transitional social state between the overthrow of capitalism and the realization of communism



What you guys are talking about is not socialism, it's communitarianism. It's a small community of individuals that all decide together, and voluntarily, to live in the community together and share everything that they have. Every other system, including socialism, involves government coercion at some level. ALWAYS. If you don't want to pay "your share", the government either comes and takes it, or takes you to jail, or both.



.:2 cents:

The fact is Socialism is just a way of keeping the people under control. It's not perfect(can't be) .. but some social things have to be made in order to keep the hoards under control. It's not about the people, or their well being, it's about the class that controls the people.
So, in my opinion a real capitalist would not see the capitalism without a social component.

In your own company, you are interested in the well being of your employees because .. if they are happy, your company is doing better, and you'll be doing even better. That's why you will offer them medical care, parties, gifts, and other benefits (that's your social component in your company)

That doesn't really have anything to do with what I said, but I tend to stray away from debates on here. Carry on. :thumbsup

right here you just described the IRS and US government.... things that make you go hummm :)

if you don´t want to pay you donate and stick it in a tax deduction capitalist "sharing"

a true socialist society doesn't exist that i'm aware of because of human greed. people aren't cool with sharing and not trying to do better than the other

They've tried -> that's called communism .. but it has it's flaws to

starts as socialism, turns into communism

in eastern Europe .. it was like this:
1. monarchy - autocracy
> 2. constitutional monarchy - some capitalism
> 3. wwii > socialism> communism
>4. '89 > socialism (neocommunism)
> TODAY > Corporatism(capitalism in the eyes of state, autocracy with employees) .

SO .. nothing is perfect :D and it's kind of a circle

Haha thats good!

this thread is funny and educational, my fave of the day :thumbsup

In case people haven't noticed, it's now easier than it's ever been to get approved for food stamps and other government assistance, where back in the day, if you worked part time at $7/hr you made too much money, so they denied you.

In my personal opinion, the government is very clearly WANTING more people to depend on it for even the most basic necessity - food. What I don't know yet, is WHY?

It's not like they give a fuck about their own people, the ones who actually LIVE on American soil. They'd rather hand out millions and billions of dollars to shitbag countries around the world who don't even appreciate the gesture rather than fix the problems that plague our own streets. Fuck this form of government - I'm sure our founding fathers are turning in their graves at the thought of this pathetic path their country has taken.

I actually described EVERY government on the planet. It's simply a matter of degree, that's all, and the US government is definitely getting out of control. (The FATCA regulations are a perfect example). I fully expect the EU governments to go the same route, and much much further in some areas. I'm sure all the left wing statists on the board will be very pleased in the coming 4 or 5 years.....




.:)




.

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

agreed :thumbsup

Imagine you have 2 dicks... :1orglaugh

i cant afford a cow... :(

GFY: You have two cows. You post about how cows were priced higher and it was 10 times easier to sell them in 2003. You give away a cow to help you sell the other cow. Paul Markham tells you he took pictures of cows in the 70s. People throw cow pats at him. You read a bunch of 50 page posts and forget to feed your remaining cow. Your cow dies.

The poor cow.

:pimp

There is no contradiction in that statement. The cows do remain yours... their productivity is divisible. Straight up socialism doesn't work... and neither does straight up capitalism. What does work is Capitalism with strictly enforced socialistic limitations for things like safety, security and the good of society overall.

We don't allow anyone to build their own nuclear bomb... though some people in our society have the money, machinery and knowledge to do it. From a purely capitalistic perspective, making a nuclear bomb would be the single most profitable thing you could do with your time. As a matter of security we don't allow it... and that is socialism at work. We don't allow people make their employees work 115 hours per week in non-ventilated factories without enough fire exits. That's more socialism. You should not be able to make billions of dollars in our markets which benefit from the work of our society and then pay 0 taxes on your profits calling it 'pure capitalism' as if that is a good thing.

6 of the top 400 earners in our society during 2009 (the last year reported) paid 0 personal income tax taxes according to research done by Warren Buffet. That is not a good thing. As he said, that puts those 6 people in Mitt Romney's theoretical 47%- pure capitalism would allow people to pay 0 back to society for all the benefits they gain from it... socialism would ask too much in return. The answer is in the middle... and watching people avoid that eventual truth is like watching people try to claim Jesus is going to help them win the next Powerball drawing.

We are a mixture of capitalism and socialism... a pendulum swings back and forth between the two... in recent years it swung too far one way and now it is swinging back the other way. The top 400 incomes have gone up more than 500% in the last ten years. Meanwhile employee productivity has more than doubled and employee wages have remained stagnant, not even keeping pace with inflation.

The asshats on the bottom who abuse the social safety net AND the asshats at the top who feel their success does not require them to add equity back into the economy that allowed them to prosper are the problem. As a simple test, ask yourself... what did you MAKE last year. Not how much money... what was your work product. If you created nothing, supported the creation of nothing, and extracted profit without adding equity back into the system... you aren't worthy of protection or admiration.

There is a huge difference between a factory owner who employs people at quality jobs while producing something, and a hedge fund manager who bilks investors and juices employee pensions while profiting from the company's ability to create debt and paying a tiny fraction of what an actual producer would have had to pay on the same dollar amount.

When the producers (employers and employees) align against the parasites (at the very bottom AND very top) the country will finally attain the balance it has been missing for over a decade. The wealthy asshats are telling you to hate the poor asshats... neither is doing you any favors. :2 cents:

I know nothing about livestock. Can someone please rewrite the original post in terms I can relate to?

I was wondering if there would be an argument about socialism.

We are told Obama is a socialist, but nobody can agree on what that is.

You are 25 and still have a bicycle as your main mode of transportation and have roommates? You're a little behind on life man. Less time on GFY, more time working.

That`s what you say when you`re like 11 years old and you`re experiencing for the first time that today you don`t feel like going to school...

Joke or not, I grew up eating hamburger helper because my family didn't make much money... I kind of like it. :Oh crap

:1orglaugh great story... especially the
American,French and Italian Corporation.
You don`t have one for a Dutch Corporation?

I always thought it was about tea ?

Nice job quoting that almost word for word - lets also not forget that at the time, the so called "rich white men" had counterparts that were asian and african who were just as rich if not richer, just as slave owning, and didn't give a damn about anyone's vote, would torture you and cut your head off on a whim, lived in palaces, and ruled with an iron fist. Aren't you glad you lucked out and got the rich white men who thought it was nice to let you vote, and voluntarily surrendered power? Of course you are!

Less wrong = better. And, I'm sure that they are sobbing in their graves that you don't like them. Thanks for listing your pedigree - it makes everything you say that much more true.

The word for what you are doing is "presentism"

"Presentism is a mode of literary or historical analysis in which present-day ideas and perspectives are anachronistically introduced into depictions or interpretations of the past"

Presentism

And, the word for people who brag online about what their family did in the past and about how much money they have is "wanker"

"wanker can carry suggestions of egotistical and self-indulgent behaviour"

Wanker

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh