I am Adam Lanzas mother...
 

good read..

http://gawker.com/5968818/i-am-adam-lanzas-mother

I read that over breakfast this morning. Excellent read, and I've known a few kids like this. Messed up situations, but what can a parent do?

not take them to the gun range maybe?

Quite a thought provoking read, thanks for posting.

It's easy to point at American gun culture and laws as the reason for the high gun death rate in the US vs other countries with similar levels of gun ownership e.g. Switzerland. However maybe a more compelling reason is the enormous clusterfuck fail that is the American public health system.

Anyone ever see We Need to Talk About Kevin?



Must be scary to think you gave birth to the thing that could take your life.

Very good article - and unfortunately I'm in the position of knowing someone who's in a similiar situation with their young son. In fact, the topic came up during a dinner party just last night we attended with a few friends and co-workers. Everyone voiced their concerns with the child...and the situation. My wife and I were relieved to realize we weren't the only ones with concerns...everyone was unanimous about what was going on.

But we had no solutions...and really nothing constructive to offer in the way of advice. My wife and I talked about it further during the drive home - and the conversation ended with, "One of these days we're going to see that kid in the headlines."

Start by not having guns in the home:2 cents:

How is this any of your business besides you being a busy body!
If you lived in the United States your post would matter.
Gotta love these fucking foreigners!

That would be an obvious start.

Poor woman. A lot of families are suffering with loved ones with mental issues like this. It's ultimately the cause of all these mass murder sprees.

If your kid's a nutcase maybe you shouldn't keep a semi-automatic weapon in the house. Derrrrrrp.

Is mental illness exclusive to the United States?

How does it matter where MaDalton resides?

It was an insightful and thought-provoking link - unlike your drivel post.

wow, that was hard core :(

What a colossally stupid, ignorant fucking comment. :321GFY:321GFY:321GFY:321GFY:321GFY

Our society punishes crimes rather than assisting people in need because we are more concerned that someone might get 'more than they deserve' than we are that someone in need will be unable to get help. It's shameful.

I have no idea how people cope with stuff like that.

That, and the fact that more inmates = more profit$ for the private prison industry :disgust

:thumbsup

I don't know what's up with GFY lately - but there's a greater abundance of retarded assholes coming out of the woodwork lately than usual.

Fake nicks, trolls, hate-mongers...it's epidemic.

Don't blame the health care system, it is naive to do that if you know anything about the the personality disorders/behaviours we call for lack of anything better 'mental illness'. This mother is a working journalist with healthcare insurance. The system isn't failing her or her son. Medical science is - read the different disorders she mentions, those aren't diseases the same way diabetes or cancer are diseases. They are a group of symptoms/behaviours that the medical profession assigns a name to. Medical science has barely scratched the surface in its understanding of the brain/mind. According to this mother her son's behaviour could fit in with any number of these made up disorders/diseases. Doctors are arrogant people, they won't admit to the parent or to the public at large 'the kid's disturbed, something isn't right but the hell if I know what's really wrong with him'. At this point in time all they have is behavioral therapy and drug therapy, with the big pharmaceutical companies pushing their latest psychiatric wonder drugs on doctors and parents - even though most of them don't work, and in some cases make things worse. People want to believe that there is a treatment that works for kids like this, but it just isn't so. We accept sadly that many cancers are untreatable, in the end they kill our loved ones and us ourselves. We refuse to accept it with mental illness, especially with young people, we must blame everything else, their parents, society and culture, our enviroment, our foods and none of them may really be to blame in many if not most of these cases.

What to do with people like this? Exactly what is being done for this mother's son, you try - the drugs, the talk/behavioral therapy, the hospitalizations, the special programs at schools. And it's not working. Because most likely it can't work. If you really don't know what the problem is the chances of solving the problem aren't very great. We read about 'chemical imbalances', psychiatrists really don't know shit at this point about those, it's a vague term they throw around that makes us and them feel better about the situation and the drug companies love. This mother's son could be the next Adam Lanza and we can do nothing about it. We can't lock him away in a hospital for the rest of his life. For every Adam Lanza who goes on a killing spree there are 100,000 others like him who won't, they'll just spend their lives in and out of treatment that doesn't work, terrifying their families.

A mother's cry for help, what if there really is no help?

[QUOTE=CT-Content;19373887]How is this any of your business besides you being a busy body!
If you lived in the United States your post would matter.
Gotta love these fucking foreigners![/

I didn't get the memo that we were now geo-blocking thread content. Now, what about a foreigner living in the US, can they comment? Or how about a US citizen living abroad, can they chime in? Or can I, from the Bronx, tell you to go fuck yourself?

Which native tribe do you belong to?

They could stop being pussies and start parenting properly.

This woman tells us that her kid threatens her often and that he called her a bitch while taking him to school. Her response was to ground him from video games for the rest of the day. Since he was supposed to be at school and then come home that really only grounds him that evening. Big fucking deal. That kind of bullshit punishment does not fit the crime. At that point the kid should have lost his electronics for good plus additional punishment.

The kid is mentally ill and has violent tendencies. Shouldn't he be focusing on reality instead of playing video games? Parents need to start taking more personal responsibility with how they raise their children. If your kid has mental issues, he's not a regular kid, adjust accordingly.

Every generation it gets worse. Idiocracy.

Fucking moron

As anti-gun, anti-violence as I am - I must admit I am very glad that woman is dead.

My theory is that she emasculated him so much, that she didn't think he was capable of shooting anything.

There was a time when mental defectives like that were locked away and, as cruel as that might sound . . . it was for the best.

How many of these mass murders do we hear about happening fifty years ago, and before?
.

People with http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome are clueless. They need help.

Yeah, in Europe and early US people were chained to trees and let the elements take care of it. It was practiced in Morocco until....now. In the countryside of course. In the cities people get injections.
This guy was chained to a tree for awhile but managed to escape. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alfred_Chester

If you are interested in accuracy, I believe the worst school killing in America was in the 1920's.

The woman who wrote that article is a horror show. She syndicated that article to high traffic sites all over the internet, along with a PHOTO OF HER SON sent to most. Changing his name to Michael, when her name is on the byline, and his photo is alongside the article is an invasion of her child's privacy.

Her 13-year-old is melodramatic and she makes an emergency room visit out of it and she wonders why he is getting worse. That woman is right. She does need help. Labeling theory, anyone?

When a parent overreacts to that kind of thing, they make it real and they make it worse. She took him out of a gifted program and put him in an unpleasant school. She responded to whining about video games by taking him to an adult institution (when she could easily have dropped him off at a behavioral school he was already enrolled in) where they had already prescribed him inappropriate (for a child) adult medication.

He acts out once -- does not actually stab anyone -- and she trains his siblings to be frightened of him and makes a huge show of gathering up and carrying all the sharp things in the house around with her. Children model on their parents and, gee, I wonder where he learned to be overly dramatic.

Then, to demonstrate that, yes, she definitely has a touch of Munchausen's, she writes an article for the Huffington Post and Gawker and anyone else who wants a few views more than they respect a child's privacy, so the whole world can give her sympathy for how difficult her child is.

Wow...just wow.

I read that article and felt sympathy for this poor woman pouring out of me. Then I read what you wrote and the logic of it is unavoidable. Well written and well thought out :thumbsup

this is your theory about this woman? your theory is very plausible but it's also possible she's a writer and this tragedy spurred her to write about her own nightmare with a mentally disturbed kid.

how do you know she sent a photo of the boy to most? did you see the photo?

if there is more people with mental illness these days, why is it happening? because women are having children later in life which increases the chances of passing on genetic defects? something else?

Nice to see you really spent some time with the article and grasped the point.

No, it is not logic it is simply a self righteous judgement call from an outsider Amelia who has a very limited understanding of the situation and has never walked in the other ladies shoes.

All the talk here about mental health and how something needs to be done about it and then you have someone write about their experience with her own son who is unpredictable, violent and getting bigger and beyond her control. She is desperate, scared of her kid and asks for help and describes her situation and the lack of help available to her in the current system.

Of course Amelia is a perfect parent and knows its not the mental health of the child but the parenting skills of the mother in dealing with a special needs child who threatens to kill her. Some kids are just fucking crazy and some otherwise good parents need help rather than judgement, some kids even kill and much worse. For example there was some shooting last friday I heard about...

Thank you. I try.

1. Call me a stupid bitch and I slap the shit out of the kid and then take the electronics away.

2. Living with having to have an escape plan for my other 2 kids?? WTF! If I was that worried about my other 2 the mental kid would have been gone long ago.

I know this woman loves her kid just as I love min. But put my others in jeopardy like that? Thats fucked.

Yes, I did see the photo of her son. She has it on her original blog and big venues (every one I've seen, except Gawker who had more taste) have re-published the image. As facial recognition software becomes more effective and more prevalent on sites from Facebook to Google . . . well, what she did will haunt that boy forever.

Reading what she wrote, I just didn't see anything which indicated that her kid was that seriously disturbed. From her level of detail, it seems like she would have mentioned if he had actually been violent with other children or animals or anything.

The hospital she dropped him off at didn't put him in a psych ward. Who drops their kid off at an ER, just because he has a minor tantrum over being grounded from video games?

People are scared of giving kids a diagnoses - The PC brigade go mad because kids are being medicated for mental illnesses.

My life would have been very different if they had worked out what was wrong with me when I was young.

I'm sorry, but what?

well yeah if she published a photo of the buy thats pretty dumb

Saved me some typing :thumbsup

i think its inaccurate that the writer lumps herself in with the parents of other mass shooters. She has no idea of the facts surrounding nancy lanza. there has been a lot of attacking her with suppositions that she should have seen this coming. that she is to blame because she owned an arsenal & a ticking child. this same assumption happened to the columbine parents.

its not fair. nobody has the power to read minds. these men who blow their fuses & go rogue on the public are not sharing their feelings. they keep quiet, make a plan, & follow through. no laws have stopped them. columbine happened while the 94 assault weapons ban was in effect.

these shooters are not spastic nuts that are threatening to harm people, like that kid in this article. the real threats keep their mouths shut.

My pineal gland manages nicely. :2 cents:

The kid who killed my father has Aspergers, his parents cried and cried during the trial that no one ever helped them. That they needed help with him growing up and they never got it. Maybe they are right, maybe the healthcare system needs to do more to combat mental illness.

Maybe a lot of things. I think it is a little too early to feel sorry for a piece of garbage who shot up a school full of kids, and the mother that spawned him. The worst part for the parents who lost their kids is still to come. Right now they have family, news, the President and most importantly SHOCK protecting them from dealing with it head on. Except of course at night when they go to bed. No their biggest sorrows are still months away, when they are alone and trying to cope.

Good luck 'disciplining' someone who is mentally ill, especially a child who is schizophrenic...

When you discipline someone you are using positive or negative reinforcement to show them that a behavior is going to either get them in trouble or earn them a reward. Mentally I'll people can't process that information. Saying 'clean your room or no electronics for a week' to a ten year old having a schizophrenic episode is as useful as saying 'your room is on fire, get a banana and all the shoes you can find.' The hard part of dealing with someone who is crazy is the fact that they are crazy. If they responded in a sane way to risks and rewards there would be no problem... Because they would no longer be crazy. Step one is to get them back into reality, which is accomplished via drugs, time and mostly luck.

Taking a self righteous approach to advising this woman is about as helpful as laying out a five year plan for her mentally ill offspring. Good luck with that.

a story where a child wants attention.

must be a mass murderer

talk about child abuse

I like it MaDalton!
Perhaps you can bang a couple of goats in Prague since ya got 2 transsexuals licking ya in your avatar!

The United States people take care of the United States!
Perhaps you should stick to your own shit in the Czech Republic!

Appreciate your concern but it not wanted or needed!
Next time mind your own fucking business!

I don't say this lightly but,

I agree.

I just poured over her blog, http://anarchistsoccermom.blogspot.com and then held my breath and took a dive into her twitter account http://twitter.com/anarchistmom and WOW!

For someone with four kids, one of which is "special needs", she has time for two hour yoga classes, complains about having to "actually talk to co-workers" because email is down, then on November 2nd she posts " Kids out of school means my tax dollars are not at work, and neither am I". WTF?

Even worse her blog is, pause a moment, all about her. Her being the daughter of a marine. Her being a college ethics teacher, her dealing with an older teen son, and most recently, her being "Adam Lanzas mother".

She has very serious issues.

Why do I say that?

Look at her first post on her mommy blog when she started it in 2008:

The D Word
Who wants to start a blog with the D-word? But here I am. The topic of my first sermon is DIVORCE.

The story goes a little something like this. Last year I woke up and found myself living in a McMansion in one of those well appointed "lifestyle communities" replete with waterfalls and acres of precisely trimmed Kentucky bluegrass and 2.7 luxury SUVs per capita.

And I realized that my daydreams all involved a)my own death; or b)federal prison.

I had four beautiful children. A fluffy college degree in Classics (omnia Gallia in tres partes divisa est, etc.). My husband was a handsome, successful attorney. I taught Sunday School. I served on a local school board. I was, in short, a soccer mom.

So I did what any reasonably bright person would do under the circumstances. I went stark raving mad.

Insanity is great fun. I highly recommend it. Unfortunately, dealing with the fallout from the nuclear blast that was my attempt to regain consciousness has proven somewhat more difficult than I expected. Especially for my kids.

FULL POST HERE

I've not said much on this whole school thing, but I have to tell you, there are many, many more of these shootings coming.

Not because guns are going to do them. Because of the way America now raises their children. Mentally ill children. And WE make them that way.

These kids these days are coddled and praised and hand held over every little issue. You lose at baseball game and get tenth place, you get a trophy. You suck at math, someone holds your hand and gives you a cookie and tells you it's ok. You don't want to go to work, you don't have too.

My parents beat my fucking ass when I did things wrong. You know what I learned values from it. When I lost a wrestling match, my parents told me to practice harder and sacrifice things for it. Put more time in. No one rewarded me for losing.

This society is 100% fucked when it comes to raising kids these days. Gone are the days of disciplining kids. You beat a kid these days and you will go to prison. Now they take them to the shrink and pump them full of pharmaceuticals. Then when they short circuit and blow the fuck up no one can understand why?

Welcome to the United States of Entitlement.

I see it every day, and it is going to get worse folks.

Nutbag kids kill people, not guns.