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-   -   "I Haven't Been Penetrated in Years" (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=1134530)

fitzmulti 02-26-2014 05:16 PM

"I Haven't Been Penetrated in Years"
 
{i hope somehow this isn't a duplicate post - "search" didn't find anything! LOL!}

http://gawker.com/florida-woman-call...etr-1530885032

An allegedly inebriated widow from a sleepy section of Florida's West Coast was arrested last Friday after calling 911 twice in search of a cop to do "extra duty" for her, then rubbing an officer who was dispatched to her house while telling him: "I am so horny."

Via NBC affiliate WBBH-TV:

Police say the initial 911 call happened just after 6 p.m., when Maria Montenez-Colon complained that she wanted her Corvette back.

When the officer arrived at the Almar Drive home, he said Montenez-Colon was very drunk.

The 58-year-old immediately told the officer he was sexy and asked if he was married, according to the incident report. Then she started over-sharing.

Montenez-Colon allegedly told the officer, "I haven't been penetrated in years," and "I am so horny."

The officer tried to steer the conversation back to the topic of the call, asking what he could do for her.

Montenez-Colon's response was "You can [expletive] me," according to the report.

The officer calmly explained that Montenez-Colon had legally ceded the Corvette to her stepson as she attempted to rub his chest. He left, but Montenez-Colon reportedly still burned for... justice.

Less than an hour later, Montenez-Colon called 911 again, complaining the officer who was at her home "pissed her off."

The original officer arrived, along with a second officer.

Montenez-Colon reportedly complained about the original visit to the second officer, saying, "He was a perfect gentleman, but when I asked him to [expletive] me, he turned me down so that made me angry."

When asked by the original officer if she remembered the conversation about misuse of 911, Montenez-Colon allegedly said, "I do, but how else am I going to get you to [expletive] me?"

Montenez-Colon was booked for misusing the emergency line. It's her fifth arrest since the beginning of 2013.

dyna mo 02-26-2014 05:18 PM

L-Pink is currently google mapping this story and grabbing his car keys.

mineistaken 02-26-2014 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dyna mo (Post 19997123)
L-Pink is currently google mapping this story and grabbing his car keys.

:thumbsup:1orglaugh

_Richard_ 02-26-2014 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dyna mo (Post 19997123)
L-Pink is currently google mapping this story and grabbing his car keys.

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

mineistaken 02-26-2014 06:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fitzmulti (Post 19997122)
Montenez-Colon was booked for misusing the emergency line.

What about sexual assault or something like that?
Not that it is a big deal, it just may sound like officer is not doing his job (not booking for offense made).

Babaganoosh 02-26-2014 07:03 PM

How is it that nobody made a joke about penetrating the Colon yet...

mineistaken 02-26-2014 07:05 PM

Green nicks' thread :winkwink:

Creatine 02-26-2014 07:06 PM

Desperate times come for desperate measures.

Sly 02-26-2014 07:40 PM

New show on ABC: Desperate Widows.

brassmonkey 02-26-2014 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dyna mo (Post 19997123)
L-Pink is currently google mapping this story and grabbing his car keys.

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh :1orglaugh:thumbsup:thumbsup

L-Pink 02-26-2014 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dyna mo (Post 19997123)
L-Pink is currently google mapping this story and grabbing his car keys.



:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh … That's some funny shit right there!

.

SilentKnight 02-26-2014 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dyna mo (Post 19997123)
L-Pink is currently google mapping this story and grabbing his car keys.

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

alwayshornyasfuck86 02-26-2014 08:49 PM

horny ass oldie

Spunky 02-26-2014 09:11 PM

In hate it when they treat me like I'm a piece of meat

John-ACWM 02-27-2014 01:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Babaganoosh (Post 19997240)
How is it that nobody made a joke about penetrating the Colon yet...

:1orglaugh noticed the weird name too.

adultchatpay 02-27-2014 02:55 AM

She can call other number for sex.

seeandsee 02-27-2014 06:17 AM

hot line for fast police penetration yeah

CaptainHowdy 02-27-2014 06:20 AM

http://porngifs4u.com/wp-content/upl....com-00130.gif

brassmonkey 02-27-2014 06:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fitzmulti (Post 19997122)
{i hope somehow this isn't a duplicate post - "search" didn't find anything! LOL!}

http://gawker.com/florida-woman-call...etr-1530885032

An allegedly inebriated widow from a sleepy section of Florida's West Coast was arrested last Friday after calling 911 twice in search of a cop to do "extra duty" for her, then rubbing an officer who was dispatched to her house while telling him: "I am so horny."

Via NBC affiliate WBBH-TV:

Police say the initial 911 call happened just after 6 p.m., when Maria Montenez-Colon complained that she wanted her Corvette back.

When the officer arrived at the Almar Drive home, he said Montenez-Colon was very drunk.

The 58-year-old immediately told the officer he was sexy and asked if he was married, according to the incident report. Then she started over-sharing.

Montenez-Colon allegedly told the officer, "I haven't been penetrated in years," and "I am so horny."

The officer tried to steer the conversation back to the topic of the call, asking what he could do for her.

Montenez-Colon's response was "You can [expletive] me," according to the report.

The officer calmly explained that Montenez-Colon had legally ceded the Corvette to her stepson as she attempted to rub his chest. He left, but Montenez-Colon reportedly still burned for... justice.

Less than an hour later, Montenez-Colon called 911 again, complaining the officer who was at her home "pissed her off."

The original officer arrived, along with a second officer.

Montenez-Colon reportedly complained about the original visit to the second officer, saying, "He was a perfect gentleman, but when I asked him to [expletive] me, he turned me down so that made me angry."

When asked by the original officer if she remembered the conversation about misuse of 911, Montenez-Colon allegedly said, "I do, but how else am I going to get you to [expletive] me?"

Montenez-Colon was booked for misusing the emergency line. It's her fifth arrest since the beginning of 2013.

http://wbbh.images.worldnow.com/images/24808583_BG1.jpg
hotlinked think this story would be if she looked like megan fox??? hmmmm :1orglaugh

https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images...1c1ef2613.jpeg
hotlinked

NemesisEnforcer 02-27-2014 08:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fitzmulti (Post 19997122)
An allegedly inebriated widow from a sleepy section of Florida's West Coast was arrested last Friday after calling 911 twice in search of a cop to do "extra duty" for her, then rubbing an officer who was dispatched to her house while telling him: "I am so horny."

A cop, that's where she messed up. She should've called the fire department.


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