| Far-L |
06-05-2015 01:05 PM |
I controlled my bowel movement... one split second could've changed everything...
So I was hanging out and called to see if my Mother in Law needed me to do any chores around the house, perhaps some yard work or maybe some mopping, she knows I love to mop her floors until they shine like a bride's wedding ring, and you could even eat off them. Not that you would want to do that but just saying like if you dropped a good bite of steak and you didn't want to pass it up then you would feel ok about picking it up and eating it, you know, as long as no one was looking. Anyway, she tells me she needs me to come right away to put a new light bulb in her fridge. She was super concerned that she wouldn't be able to see what was in there and food would end up going bad, you know how that goes. Anyway, I was like hey I need to go to the bathroom right now but I didn't want to say that and i didn't want her to think I didn't care about the light and her food and everything so I was like wtf I will just go there and fix that light bulb right away and maybe if i have to I could use her bathroom even though I don't like using any bathroom at all except my own but ok I would take the chance.
So I get there and she is wondering what took me so long and I told her about the traffic and while I was putting in the bulb my stomach just started churning and I realized I really had to go and I didn't know if I would get that bulb all the way screwed in and make it to the bathroom but I did and I went in and made a bowel movement and I flushed it really fast so it wouldn't stink up her bathroom. Any way I lit a match and sprayed some lavender citrus scented spray washed my hands and got out pretty quick. Lucky for me that I did too because then I had to go pull some weeds that had grown up fairly quickly, you know, dandelions do that.
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