How to Murder Your Wife - By Arsewithclass
 

Sorry for the copy/paste.

"8 years ago, I pulled off an incredible feat that few have gotten away with in this day and age. I murdered my wife. Don't believe me? Sounds unlikely? You think i'm too dumb to outwit the police? Haha!

Thats the point.

When I knew my wife was finally getting sick of my shit, I had to start thinking defensively about my relationship. Having worked hard in life and being the proud owner of a Soviet Lada car and a beautiful one room apartment overlooking a bustling industrial park and having a watch, I knew that if I didn't act to protect the assets which represent everything i am capable of and have done in life, I'd be left with nothing.

After some thinking, I realized that being dumb is not a problem when you surround yourself with dumb people. Thats when I realized I could hide in plain site in the Adult Industry as I carried out my plan.

What I managed to get away with still blows me away to think about it.

Generally speaking, it went like this..

Step 1) Convince my wife she's completely hot

Step 2) Convince my wife the world wants to see her

Step 3) Convince my wife that i can actually take a picture

Step 4) Shoot as much content as humanly possible. Enough for updates for years.

Step 5) Throw up a shitty site

Step 6) Actively promote said shitty site to the cesspool of idiots which are in this business to legitimize it all.

Step 7) Set up all the relevant social media accounts and actively promote them

Step 8) Let her post and promote her site and establish a presence in the industry.

Step 9) Take control of all her social media and forum accounts for "business reasons" as a "loving partner" or whatever you come up with.

Step 10) Chloroform her, cut her body up in the bath tub and take the pieces out of the city and throw them into swamps, rivers, lakes and wherever they are unlikely to be found. Don't be afraid to get creative with this step. Play with it. Have fun with it.

Step 11) Continue posting on forums and social media, facebook etc as the deceased wife to allay suspicious. Add friends periodically. Always send birthday wishes etc. Make it real. User her voice.

Step 12) Keep updating content as "something we just shot this weekend. Post it on the forum as something just shot. Get creative and distract people by saying how hot she looks, how she's more beautiful than ever,... anything to maintain the narrative that its new and just happened and she's alive and well.

And thats it.

You can keep this shit up for years.

Seriously.

Years."

The movement doesn't care , See sig

Cool story, bro.

Cliff notes?

Is this in the fact or fiction aisle?

Nat is more real than Gary ever was. Long live Nat and let's put GAry in a swamp, river or lake...

BTW - I am bout to go murder a leg workout.

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

This would only work if she had no friends, family, or life. And if that's the case, skip everything except the "cutting up the body" part, and you're set. No one is going to call in a missing person report. As long as you destroy the head and hands, there's no way to identify the body in case they ever do find it. They'll check missing persons reports, and she'll never have been reported.

***I watch WAYYYY too much The First 48. I have at least 20 of them on DVR as we speak.

The 12 steps redux

You need to watch more of that first 48 shit if you think a headless/handless body can't be identified.

:2 cents:

If the person doesn't have DNA on file, which a vast majority of people don't, then how are they going to identify the body without prints or dental records?

AND even if the person's DNA is on file, if they don't have anything to match it, there isn't a fingerprint matching system like AFIS for DNA. They would have to suspect it's someone, find their DNA or a family member's DNA to match it against.

Scary stuff

OMG, that is not cool... lol

Step 13) Endlessly argue with fellow Brit fuckwits like DVTimes and ask for their banning thinking it will help promote your site, business and reputation. It won't, but it will keep you busy while you wait for those fat sales checks to roll in.

:jerkoff

CS met us both 5 yrs ago, I'll let you decide...

We work together & play together... drink, sex & rocknroll... We're as real as each other :thumbsup

fuck off, you're insane :2 cents:

no it's not cool but it's a great way for keyboard attention whores to get that little boost :thumbsup

or while DV asshat writes a load of bollocks about you online, you get on & film some video to update your site... that's what I've been doing :thumbsup

Doesnt count if you havent done

gspotproductions

Natalie K (@TheNatalieK) | Twitter

Splash | NatalieK

Splash | NatalieK

Cash in with NatalieKash | NatalieKash

OP

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Dude, there are puppies in this board!

https://gfy.com/image.php?u=92076&dateline=1359495667

Tattoos?

DNA?


:cool-smil

I love how Internet Life matters more than Real Life.
"What? 3 years of updates? Credible alibi!"

One of my fav shows. :thumbsup

I'm all lost ...

... he's been posting here for a long time as his wife because she's no longer with us and its his way of creating an alibi and allaying suspicion.

it was dumb joke.

I never put 2 and 2 together and thought about the arsewithclass part. Derp...