Craigslist casual encounters, does your fuckeduppedness know no bounds??
 

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/cas/941491075.html

I am a lonely, beautiful woman living alone with my cat, Mrs. Norris. I work as a janitor. You will refer to me as Filch.

I need at least 5 men. You will arrive at my apartment. There will be a picture of a fat lady on the door, and you will tell her the pre-arranged password. You will be dressed based on your character. The characters I need are listed below.

Harry Potter: You must be barely legal, and arrive with your firebolt ready for the best game of quidditch you'll ever play.

Ron Weasley: You absolutely must have red hair and freckles. You must show up with firewhiskey.

Draco Malfoy: Blonde. Be able to cry on demand.

Remus Lupin: You will alternate between wolf and man. Howl, baby, howl!

Albus Dumbledore: You must be a proud gay man ready to penetrate every other man present You must have a beard and wear a wizard's hat and half-moon spectacles.

As you arrive, I shall chain you to the walls of my apartment, which I will have converted into a dungeon. Mrs. Norris shall excite you all into the most aroused state you've ever experienced (I've trained her well, so don't worry--if she fails to tickle your pickle, though, I've got a few tricks up my sleeve--engorgio, anyone?).

After I punish you all for being out after curfew, and take a few house points, Harry will escape, grab me around the waist, and begin sodomizing me. With each stroke, he will yell out one of the wrongs I have committed against him (example: "and THIS is for helping Umbridge"). After we've both come harder than Hagrid in heat, Ron and Draco will escape.

Ron will beat Draco with a broomstick I'll provide. Then, he will penetrate the Slytherin with the Cleansweep, who will, at this point, be crying about how his dad's in Azkaban.

Lupin will escape as he "transforms" into a wolf. He forgot his wolfsbane potion tonight! He will have his way with whatever his wolfy instincts demand!

I will then pleasure Ron. With my dirty squib mouth.

Finally, Dumbledore will escape and exact his right as Headmaster of Hogwarts.

Then, firewhiskey all around!

Who knows what else the night will bring...


:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

oh the things guys on computers come up with and do

You call that a casual encounter? What does a complicated one look like?

It's more tightly plotted than an episode of Seinfeld.

--t

Sad.... only trumped by pathetic because it's entirely fictional.

oh dear, J. K. Rowling got drunk and used the Internet again... :Oh crap

I wanna hire this guy to write some newsletters

Great scenario... a very creative sick mind... bet he writes for cable