The gay marriage thread : CNN story about bullied child suicide : my son
 

So I was giving my :2 cents: in the gay marriage thread earlier today, and also read this CNN story about an 11 year old boy that committed suicide because he was being bullied at school. They kept calling him gay.

In the thread, some people also think that calling others gay is some kind of attack that will hurt them. While I don't see how 'gay' is an attack, obviously it does hurt some people.

This poor kid was bullied so bad for so long that he felt the only way out was death. The other kids did everything they could to push him over the edge, calling him names and saying anything they could...

This brings me to my son. He's close to turning 4 and will be going to school in the fall. But today, he's standing here with an elephant hat and an elephant tail attached to his pant loop. He imagines it's real and would love nothing more than to have a real tail actually stuck back there.... despite the fact that no one else has one.

And I can't help but think how great it is... he doesn't care that no one else has one. Or what others would think or say... because he doesn't know that kids/people can be cruel. He doesn't know how much it would hurt to go to school if he really did have a tail.

A part of me cherishes this, a part of me is sad that he'll have to put those things aside or be bullied... I don't know, this stuff just seems so much more real now that I have children of my own. That news story makes me sad, but more so it troubles me knowing that my kids will be walking out the door one day to have to deal with that themselves. Even more than that, it troubles me that he'll lose the innocence of wishing for things, like having a tail.... because of what the other kids will say.

I was talking with a guy who just joined my Jiu Jitsu class the other day that happens to be a high school teacher. I couldn't believe some of the stories he was telling us. I mean, don't get me wrong, we were cruel as kids too when I went to school but somehow it never seemed that bad. We never formed gangs of kids to beat the crap out of each other. The worst that happened is two guys got in a fight and it blew over the next day.

If I had kids I wouldn't send them to any North American public school. Private school, with a dress code, all the way.

:2 cents:

I would rather home-educate my children than send them to be with the lowest common denominators at public school.


You are dead-on with your comments, and not just because you have 3 rottis and good choice in haircuts.

Yeah, it seems to have gotten extremely out of hand. I'm not sure what to do...
I figure for now, pre-kindergarden... he can learn the school routine. But beyond that, I'm not sure.
I can't see sending them to be around situations like that.

One thing that's for sure, that kid that committed suicide... I wouldn't have waiting for him to work it out, or the teachers to do anything... he'd have been out of there long before it got that bad.

Home school prevents torture

so sad :(
kids are so mean its unreal
in north america they are supposed to have a no bully policy where any action that remotley resembles any type of bully-ing the child is expelled immediatly
i dont' have kids, so i dont' really know if its inforced or not, but its such a sad shame

and stuart... cherish the moments while you can until your kids realize the reality of this world!!!

teach your kid how to fight by taking him to a bjj/mma school.. get a 2-5 million dollar umbrella policy.. tell your kid to hospitalize the first kid that touches him..

problem solved for rest of his school career provided you dont move to another town too far away..

Take your kid duck hunting. He won't be gay... Might kill things though...

Oh I do. I just put in a 6 x 6 sand box for my boys (they're 3 and 1), and to watch them play in there is awesome. Seeing him attach that elephant tail and shake his butt to see it swing is awesome.

They can do things I just can't anymore.... they can make believe anything. Anything they want to have happen... happens.

And it's not about winning the lottery, or having a big house or traveling the world... it's about having a tail. It's about having toy cars that go "super fast" like the cars in the movies do. It's about moving a small clump of sand from one spot to a spot 8 inches away using a Tonka truck.

It's so simple. Yet I've forgotten how.

And I love every day that they teach me how all over again.

I never remember high school ever being this cruel. Sure there were your cliques and teasing, but never this bad.

I wonder if a lot of this has to do with bad parenting. Most of these kids doing the bullying are probably not given attention or love at home. They are not taught how to respect others or themselves. It's a sad state of affairs that we have these little sociopaths running around schools.

dont ask dont tell:helpme just dont hit on me

Good post. It is very hard to watch young children go off to school where they will be punished and humiliated for showing uniqueness, creativity or kindness and rewarded for blind conformity and cruelty. Learning how to live in the real world is obviously necessary for children but I have to wonder if it needs to be so horrible. Perhaps there could be a softer and less damaging way. I don't know what that is though. :(

Well, my kids aren't at that level yet, but it seems to me that most parents aren't really being parents these days.
Even when the economy was doing well, families still needed a dual income just to survive. Both parents would be gone to their 8 hour jobs, which would mean 9 to 10 hours with commuting, and then having to prepare breakfasts and suppers and do what ever house maintenance... I mean, how much time is there for the kids in a 24 hour day?

Add to that a degrading economy and you have a recipe for disaster. What's worse is that parents have 'conveniences' now that they didn't have before... daycares with internet webcams, kids programming on demand, dvd players mounted into their vehicles....

Parents are no longer raising their kids.

The only real education on 'life' that kids get are from other kids. And with no one to step in and say "this is right" and "this is wrong".... they're left to decide for themselves.

I went to a school like that and were still some kids girls and boys that were picked on by the whole class with exception of me...

They were driving this one girl insane by putting gum in her hair and spitting and putting boogers in her food. It was pretty bad and they all did it and thought it was ok. My buds kept telling me to join them in the prank of the day against this girl and I always tried to stop em but many times without success.

I think the best idea is to keep a close eye on your kid and talk to them make sure that they can stand up for themselves.

I'm waiting for the day that a parent goes and kills the kid bullying their kid. Seems a little far fetched but it'll hit that point eventually I believe.

Parents are letting MTV raise their kids. Just let them sit in front of a TV and use it as a babysitter.

One odd thing I've noticed is how different entertainment is these days. When I was a kid they had a ton of shows, and most offered up a lesson of some sorts in the end. Nowadays kids are watching shows like Sweet 16 and Paris Hilton's reality show. Shows featuring the dregs of our society and passing them off as normal. The biggest games on the market are things like Grand Theft Auto. I'm not blaming these for the problem, but do wonder if the fact we grew up in a tamer childhood had a positive effect on us.

When I was that age an empty refrigerator or other large appliance box was a fort or castle for at least a week. God I miss that.

I had friends who were home schooled and some went to boarding schools.
They used to struggle with people who weren't like them.

My dad sent me to public school as he said... There are all types of people in the world from bastards to angels learn to interact with all of them.

Bullying is just a fact of life. There are intolerances at all age levels. The difference is that adults have learned how to hide a lot of behavior that could draw criticism, whereas kids have not started thinking through all of the perceptions of how they present themselves.

fucking world

1. bullying, like many things, is very different today than it was 20+ years ago. Having your lunch money taken from you is the least of your worries today.

2. Hiding a lot of behavior that could draw criticism is exactly my point. It's sad that we grow up learning to shut down most of our creativity and imagination for fear of what some bullies will say or do. You know what? If my kids want me to attach an elephant tail to my pant loop while out at the mall with him, I'll do it. Because I just don't give a damn... but I'm an adult and can cope. He on the other hand will likely learn very fast not to even think about doing it because of what other kids will say.

i bullied many ppl in school, even gays.. 10 years later im at gay bars trolling for trannies.. go figure.

truth is I have a tail too, tell your son he's not alone.

You don't have to be a kid to be bullied. I am 30 and still get bullied by people all the time.

Grown women bully each other too, more than men, men don't really bully each other as much. Grown women will be actually cruel to each other etc.

Agreed.:2 cents:

I know I was a kid but I never picked on other kids.We fought like children,physically,but never calling names.I know it's about education and it's sad a lot of parents nowadays don't give a damn about their kids.Sad story and it's something that happens everywhere and every day

I think the biggest problem is... that we teach them to be this way as adults...

If you saw a grown man crossing the parking lot at WalMart with an elephant tail on his ass... wiggling it... You would point and laugh.

Some rednecks say racist things about blacks in front of their kids... then their kid goes to school and makes fun of blacks.


Some parents will talk about an obese woman at a restaurant.. or crossing the street.. then their kid thinks it's okay to make fun of obese people..

Some parent makes fun of gay people.. or tells their kid, 'It's not okay to be a fag' or something equally not cool.. Then the kid finds out that being gay is bad...

Then the children adopt those "hates" and push them on the kids...


I see it when I go to the movies.... or to a restaurant... We go to a high class steak house here with usually an hour to 2 hour weight... I'm a big girl. I dress well. Smell great. Hair's fixed...

And sometimes I'll go sit on the big long bench to wait... and kids will get up... not wanting to be next to the fat person...

In this same restaurant... I've seen parents giggle WITH their kids at the gay waiter after he leaves.

I was in WMT checking out the other day... Hubby had his Mom's groceries in his basket.. and I had my groceries in mine... and I slid in behind him just as these three females were pulling into line... and I hear, "Fat bitch can't wait to get home to eat..." "Well what do you expect from someone dressed like that?" (We'd been planting all day.. I had on wind pants, crocs, and a t-shirt)

I turn around.. and say, "Someone needs to teach you manners..."

and notice it was a MOM and her two teenage daughters...


Kids are getting worse because parents are getting worse.

I'm glad I'm not a father yet.. if you want to be a good parent then it might be really a tough lesson in today's world...

Kids who bully other kids usually have parents.

Those parents need to be beaten up.

:D

What pharmaceuticals was he on? There is a hell of a lot more to the story then just being bullied.

i wear an elephant tail everyday to work , and i kick anyones ass who even snickers at me. Tell him to wear it proudly.

Yup, that gay marriage thread is a good indication of that. It's amazing how quickly some of them go on the attack, slinging "faggot" and "gay" at gay marriage supporters as if it was the meanest thing they could say. As I said, I don't get it. Call me gay. It doesn't phase me. I'm not gay, and if I was, it would be a fact, not an attack.

Yet these, supposedly, grown people call other grown people faggot with a bunch of smilies as if they'd just conquered the world by force.

I guess I'll never understand. But what I do understand is that it's these people who teach the children to do it and hate breeding hate never amounts to anything positive.

A bear wearing an elephant tail :1orglaugh

And I do, I do tell him to wear it proudly. Life lesson #1 is that life can be cruel. Life lesson #2 is screw the haters. :thumbsup

kids who are homeschool are often in overprotective households that in no way equip children for what they will be facing in the real world.

damn thats bad

thats some sad stuff

That is heavy stuff. It definitely resonates for performers in adult, too, who are loved in private by millions and generally disparaged in public for doing what most people enjoy watching them do...
Props to people being true to what they want, and who they are, and to hell with people who have a problem with it.

it also prevents social interaction

yeah, the kid that stands up for himself doesnt keep getting picked on.

maybe if you werent such a pussy you'd teach your kid to stand up for himself and not act like a faggot that his father is.

fuck, i feel bad for your kid. he's gonna grow up a total pussy and get beaten at every opportunity.

WarChild also mentioned public schooling (for pussies)
you should teach the kid not to take shit from anyone and learn how to command respect, instead of shielding him from reality of this world and making him grow up a wimpy faggot.

http://blurredproductions.files.word...o-facepalm.jpg

You should buy him some toy guns. A batman outfit or something.

Getting him fixated on his butt won't play out good in the long run.

Kids who don't go to public school are weak. :1orglaugh

Batts, please go somewhere else and talk about brain surgery or molecular engineering..
You probably know more about those things than you do parenting. :2 cents:

It is a good thing I grew up to realize that people who rip me off deserve what's coming to them.

While this is sad, at the same time we teach kids that it's okay to be second best and to fail. When I tried out for sports it was just that - tryouts. You did your best and hoped that you made the team. Now... It's no longer about winning, it's about everyone gets the chance to play. This is teaching kids that it's okay to be second best. I think this is horrible.

It IS important to teach kids to stick up for themselves, but in the face of some odds it's impossible, there's nothing they can do.
This is why it's also important to teach self respect, so that if ever faced with such situations they won't lose sight of their self worth.
There are more ignorant people than enlightened, and that will always be the truth. You can't allow them to influence you unduly.