During the summer after my freshman year in high school, I lost my virginity to the cleaning lady's daughter. A Mexican. Before that summer, I didn't even know that the cleaning lady had a daughter. Then all of a sudden she started coming over to help her Mom and soon enough started coming over by herself. So naturally we fucked. This led my friends to speculate that the only reason I was able to get laid was because the cleaning lady set it all up in the hopes I'd knock up her daughter. Even though I didn't have any money or anything to personally offer at that age, my parents did. And since Mexicans are Catholic and tend to not really like abortions, the theory was that her plan was for my parents to raise my illegitimate, half-Mexican child while also helping out her daughter in the process. Personally, I think the theory was complete bullshit and that my friends were just being a bunch of dicks. :2 cents:

I once found some woman's father (Google), put them in touch for the first time, then he died

So you and Arnold have something in common. Like Throm. :thumbsup
I love fucking the help. Don't get me wrong.

excuse me, throm? even back in the coke dick days, I never left home without a cialis.

Keys, coke, cell phone, wallet, cialis, sunglasses. always. :thumbsup

6'3, white, 245, and a big dick :D oh, and my cock size isn't bad ether ;)

I'll take 2 please :thumbsup

Someone wanted to buy me another car today and I was like 'nah' because I wanted to sleep in....

I am the most perverted forum member.

I have severe haemophilia (this curse is present in about 1 in 5,000–10,000 male births).

Yesterday i stole a cock from a fox in the forest.
cool story, isn't it ?

I am not sure what love is beyond being a father.

The occasion on which I lost my virginity led to 3 days in a cell (for breaching my curfew by around 20 minutes, I must clarify).

Now that's one of the most interesting so far :thumbsup

a cell for three days? please elaborate. what was your curfew?

I love giving blowjobs to total strangers in men's rooms while others watch.

that's not very I interesting at all ... that's pretty common behavior for gay dudes isn't it?

I haven't had sex in 8 years because I'm extremely picky and monogamous. I guess that isn't that interesting.

I have 41 digits of pi memorized:

3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971...

At one point I was able to say 'Thank You' and 'Cheers' (as a toast) in 17 different languages.

why the fuck anyone care?

I can play the skin flute

Are you a woman? Then no, its not at all surprising......

(I know a thread about this) :1orglaugh

Reminds me of a Billy Connolly joke that I can't find, grrr.

Something about standing Norway on its southernmost point, letting it fall in a southerly direction and it landing on Morocco. Was the way he told it :upsidedow

Google never dies, it just doesn't want to pay maintenance :)

I sincerely apologize for forcing you to read this thread.

I was allergic to all milk, cream, including Mother's milk, when born.

Looks like my hemorrhoids are subsiding... :moon

you are the one sticking dicks in your face = you are the cunt :1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

because i want to claim that i am SOOOO special :pimp

Wow, I almost posted this exact thing but chickened out... ;-).
Had sex twice though in that time period, forthe same reasons and because of lack of time being a full time dad and trying to keep paying bills ....

We should meet, but then again we probably won't like eachother;-)

Hmm, so much to choose from. Okay here's one....

Back in the mid-80's I took a bunch of friends up to a beach on the east side of Lake Winnipeg. In the late evening we built a bonfire and got it burning so high that people on the west side of the lake thought it was a distress call.

I heard weeks later that several dozen boaters risked the storm warnings that were out that night to go out on the lake, collectively burning up a few thou in fuel looking for.... well, us. My older brother was one of those boaters as it happens. He was pissed, but still he had to admit it was funny in a wincing, face-palming sort of way. He kept quiet about it around the marina though.

That's what taking 96 beers to the beach does.

lol........

In the early 90's, a partner in a well-respected insurance defense firm filed a complaint against me with the California Department of Insurance; in the complaint he described me as an "Intellectual Terrorist".

My boss was so proud of me.

I had extra teeth (baby teeth, permanent teeth, and then more permanent teeth behind those). Apparently, one or two extra is rare but not altogether unusual. I had more than that, so once my permanent teeth started coming in I had to go back to the dentist every couple of months and get 2-3 extracted at a time in order to make room for those behind them. I also remember my dentist telling me he wrote an article about me for some dentistry journal.

I guess it all paid off though, because I have straight teeth and never needed braces.

I went to school with a kid that had 2 rows of adult teeth top and bottom - It's a good job he was straight...

Okay. It was never easy for me. I was born a poor black child. I remember the days, sittin' on the porch with my family, singin' and dancin' down in Mississippi.

I can climb a cactus with ease ;)

I was one of the disco dancers in the Beastie Boys "Shake your Rump" video.