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|  05-02-2016, 04:01 PM | #1 | 
| So Fecking Bummed Industry Role:  Join Date: Aug 2014 
					Posts: 3,682
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				What's the Closest You have Been to a Wild Animal?
			 When I say Wild I mean a non domestic animal and not some farm animal. Ideally, something that could eat or cause you great harm. I will start. I was in Africa this time and we were in a reserve and got horny so we stopped and fucked in the bush. This was perhaps a bit dangerous because it was near a river with crocs and hippos but not as bad as what happened next. The sun was setting so we got back in the car and drove a short way. We then saw an elephant looking at us, it was close too. Like the T-Rex on Jurassic Park it's eye was right against the glass. Looking out the window , by this time the sun had set I saw we were close to a herd of about 15 elephants including babies. We saw the big ones getting angry and I literally put the pedal to the metal and got out of there as fast as the fuck I could. | 
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|  05-02-2016, 04:25 PM | #2 | 
| Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role:  Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Happy in the dark. 
					Posts: 93,664
				 | I try to avoid the wild at all costs, it's an evolutionary thing I guess. 
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|  05-02-2016, 04:44 PM | #3 | 
| So Fucking Fabulous Industry Role:  Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Indiana 
					Posts: 11,375
				 | I was married once..   
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|  05-02-2016, 05:41 PM | #4 | 
| BACON BACON BACON Industry Role:  Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Poems everybody, the laddie fancies himself a poet 
					Posts: 35,465
				 | I have been fairly close to several wild animals. Black bears three times, but I was never worried because each of those three times I had two very large King Sheperds with me. The bear just walked away, also usually black bears do not mess with humans. We were about 100 m away each time. The closest I ever came to being killed by a wild animal was by a moose. I was out in our back with my one dog, who used to love to chase moose and deer. That is illegal but try telling that to a dog with an almost untouched by humans backyard that stretched for many many miles. We only had 33 acres, but after our land it just went on forever as crown land. Anyway, my one dog was chasing a moose that day and i heard it coming through the trees, and i just got out of the way in time. I can remember it clearly now, it ran past at full speed a kind of wild desperation in its eyes. It was huge and massive and moving like a freight train, i stepped into the lee side of a large tree as it passed, I could have reached my hand out and touched it's side. My dog was about 3 seconds behind running like an idiot..lol One kick from the moose could have killed both of us, but the moose won't risk it because one bite from a dog is not good for it either. | 
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|  05-02-2016, 05:47 PM | #5 | 
| I need a beer   Industry Role:  Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ 
					Posts: 133,947
				 | I had a skunk run up to me and started to stomp his front feet,I slowly backed away 
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|  05-02-2016, 06:44 PM | #6 | 
| Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2009 
					Posts: 5,795
				 | I just shot a groundhog that I caught in a live trap by my house. Bastards were digging under my deck fucking shit up. Before you say a groundhog is not dangerous, you should have seen that fucker bite the barrel of my gun when I shoved it in his face. Vicious little bastard. 
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|  05-02-2016, 06:47 PM | #7 | 
| The People's Post Industry Role:  Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: invisible 7-11 
					Posts: 65,921
				 | The one time I almost went on a motorcycle ride with baddog. | 
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|  05-02-2016, 06:49 PM | #8 | 
| AdultEmpireCash Industry Role:  Join Date: Oct 2013 Location: Albuquerque, NM 
					Posts: 351
				 | About 2 years ago I was hiking alone in the Pennsylvania woods and suddenly came across what i can only assume was either a black bear or a gorilla. It took off running from about 10-15 feet from where I was on the trail. I think we pretty much scared the shit out of each other. Spent the rest of the hike jingling my keys and looking over my shoulder. 
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|  05-02-2016, 07:13 PM | #9 | 
| Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Dec 2006 
					Posts: 29,032
				 | Does a shark count as a wild animal? When I was stationed in Hawaii, I did some diving and got close to a shark with no glass between us. My friend Van was a crazy motherfucker. He drove a beat up Olds 442 and liked to start fights with his buddies when gets drunk. You know the type. In addition to being a grade A asshole, he was also an expert diver and got me into it. I was relieved to find out that Van was a calm, knowledgeable diving buddy who made me feel pretty safe. So safe that I didn't think twice about going on a night dive. We took a boat out with a group after dark, and I was pumped to get in the water. We all got in, and as soon as went underwater and shined my light, there were a couple of sharks swimming a few feet away. I wasn't the only one who saw it because others were hitting them with their lights too. They weren't huge, but they were big enough. I got right back in the boat, and so did everyone else except Van. We were shitting our pants wondering if Van was attacked, and basically freaked each other out until he got back on the boat 10 minutes later. He said "what the fuck happened to you guys? I was looking for you." He never saw the sharks. 
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|  05-02-2016, 07:58 PM | #10 | |
| Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: portland, OR 
					Posts: 20,684
				 | Quote: 
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|  05-02-2016, 08:16 PM | #11 | 
| Femcams.com Industry Role:  Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: bjcam.com 
					Posts: 12,224
				 | I nearly got bit by a snake last month when i tried to grab its tail it moved so fast it was incredible. | 
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|  05-02-2016, 08:31 PM | #12 | 
| Confirmed User Industry Role:  Join Date: Apr 2015 Location: Stjørdal, Norge 
					Posts: 797
				 | A bear. Nothing unusual about it here. | 
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|  05-02-2016, 08:42 PM | #13 | 
| Likes Pie Industry Role:  Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: The land that liberated porn 
					Posts: 12,402
				 | I once came within 5 feet of my ex-wife... | 
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|  05-02-2016, 09:18 PM | #14 | 
| Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Australia 
					Posts: 17,393
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|  05-02-2016, 09:25 PM | #15 | |
| Confirmed User Industry Role:  Join Date: Jun 2009 
					Posts: 8,873
				 | Quote: 
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|  05-02-2016, 10:10 PM | #16 | 
| in a van by the river Industry Role:  Join Date: May 2003 
					Posts: 76,806
				 | Seen a few bears up close. 
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|  05-02-2016, 11:56 PM | #17 | 
| Confirmed User Industry Role:  Join Date: May 2010 Location: Manhattan 
					Posts: 4,016
				 | I once saw a Chupacabra near the Riverwalk in San Antonio. Scared the fuck out of me. 
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|  05-03-2016, 03:51 AM | #18 | 
| Too lazy to wipe my ass Industry Role:  Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: A Public Bathroom 
					Posts: 38,686
				 | I petted a Shetland Pony on Dartmoor once... But seriously, it would have to be highly poisonous snakes in a temple in Thailand, where they 'Milk' them...  | 
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|  05-03-2016, 05:29 AM | #19 | 
| Porn SEO Industry Role:  Join Date: Feb 2015 Location: EU 
					Posts: 1,816
				 | Prolly a couple of inches, BUT in a zoo so that doesn't count. Interesting question, tho.   
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|  05-03-2016, 08:47 AM | #20 | 
| Naked in my bathroom Industry Role:  Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Europe 
					Posts: 6,161
				 | Im not the risky person.Once was eye to eye with i big massive shark but sure separate by the 50m glass | 
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|  05-03-2016, 09:50 AM | #21 | 
| Living The Dream Industry Role:  Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Inside a Monitor 
					Posts: 19,635
				 | I met Beyoncé once. 
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|  05-03-2016, 09:54 AM | #22 | 
| Confirmed Asshole Industry Role:  Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Half way between sobriety and fubar. 
					Posts: 12,722
				 | I was at an all you can eat buffet and there was a group of hungry fat people there! 
				__________________ “If we are to have another contest in the near future of our national existence, I predict that the dividing line will not be Mason and Dixon's but between patriotism and intelligence on the one side, and superstition, ambition and ignorance on the other.” -- Ulysses S. Grant | 
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|  05-03-2016, 10:03 AM | #23 | 
| Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role:  Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Sweden 
					Posts: 30,070
				 | Pretty close to most African wilds on different safaris and trips through national parks there. Here in Sweden I was around 50 meters away from a brown bear once in the woods while plocking berries, thats when you don't make any sudden movements and back off slowly hehe 
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|  05-03-2016, 10:18 AM | #24 | 
| The People's Post Industry Role:  Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: invisible 7-11 
					Posts: 65,921
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|  05-03-2016, 10:19 AM | #25 | 
| Confirmed Asshole Industry Role:  Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Half way between sobriety and fubar. 
					Posts: 12,722
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				__________________ “If we are to have another contest in the near future of our national existence, I predict that the dividing line will not be Mason and Dixon's but between patriotism and intelligence on the one side, and superstition, ambition and ignorance on the other.” -- Ulysses S. Grant | 
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|  05-03-2016, 10:37 AM | #26 | 
| Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2007 
					Posts: 878
				 | When I was about 15 or so I went with a friend's family to Grant's Grove in the Sequoia, they had rented a little cabin that wasn't big enough for all of us so my buddy and I slept on the porch on cots. I don't know what it was that woke me up in the middle of the night but I looked down at the foot of the cot and there was a bear with it's head poked through the porch rails and it's muzzle right between my feet.  I just slowly laid my head back down and closed my eyes, the bear kind of snuffled a bit then moved away and after a bit I went back to sleep. | 
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|  05-03-2016, 10:44 AM | #27 | 
| Confirmed User Industry Role:  Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: US 
					Posts: 2,078
				 | A Floridian Panther when we were in Naples back in 2009, walked passed us at about 70ft checked us out and walked away. Exciting, but pretty fucking scary at the same time. 
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|  05-03-2016, 10:45 AM | #28 | 
| Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: CO, US 
					Posts: 3,056
				 | PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN, PERIOD!  I stalked this Grizzly Bear for a couple of hours trying to get some good shots. He'd go to one place and I'd circle around to a spot where I thought I'd get a good shot. When I got there he'd be gone. We played this cat and mouse game for a few hours. When he finally layed down I had an opportunity to get into position to take this photo. I shot some good pics and just sat there and admired this animal for about 30 minutes. When he started showing signs of agitation I decided it was time to leave. I stood up and started backing away from him, in the process of walking backward I tripped over a log and fell flat on my back, which triggered his prey instinct and it was game on! He immediately got up and charged me full speed. I managed to get to my feet before he got to me and I just stood there and held my ground with this 300lb Grizzly Bear running full speed at me. I couldn't believe how fast he covered the distance between us. He was so close I thought he was about to tackle me to the ground but instead he skidded to a stop less than 10ft from me. He stood on his hind feet, towering over me, and let out a huge growl. Once back on all fours we had a stand off for what felt like an eternity but it was probably more like 5 minutes. I wasn't about to move an inch and trigger his prey instinct again. So we both just stood there, he was so close I could hear ever breath, see every nostril flair, and smell every scent. Finally, he just turned and walked away like it was no big deal. Definitely in my top 10 adrenaline rushes for sure! | 
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|  05-03-2016, 10:48 AM | #29 | 
| SecretFriends.com Industry Role:  Join Date: May 2001 Location: IMC Headquarters 
					Posts: 27,889
				 | Both taken from a meter or so distance in Thailand ;)   Also had a close encounter with an Orang Utang (with Baby) in Borneo years ago. I love nature... 
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|  05-03-2016, 11:21 AM | #30 | 
| Confirmed User Industry Role:  Join Date: Jan 2013 
					Posts: 2,623
				 | Been pretty close to wolves near here, ran from a few boar. But badgers.. those fuckers are fast, nasty little fuckers. | 
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|  05-03-2016, 11:34 AM | #31 | 
| small trip to underworld Industry Role:  Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: first gen intel 80386/nintendo-gb/arcade/ps1/internet person 
					Posts: 4,927
				 | I will start. I was in Africa this time and we were in a reserve and got horny so we stopped and fucked in the bush. This was perhaps a bit dangerous because it was near a river with crocs and hippos but not as bad as what happened next. The sun was setting so we got back in the car and drove a short way. We then saw an elephant looking at us, it was close too. Like the T-Rex on Jurassic Park it's eye was right against the glass. Looking out the window , by this time the sun had set I saw we were close to a herd of about 15 elephants including babies. We saw the big ones getting angry and I literally put the pedal to the metal and got out of there as fast as the fuck I could. ?????  
				__________________ automatic exchange - paxum , bitcoin,pm, payza . daizzzy signbucks caution will black-hat black-hat your traffic  ignored forever :zuzana designs  | 
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|  05-03-2016, 11:45 AM | #32 | 
| So Fecking Bummed Industry Role:  Join Date: Aug 2014 
					Posts: 3,682
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|  05-03-2016, 12:04 PM | #33 | 
| FUBAR the ORIGINATOR Industry Role:  Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: FUBARLAND 
					Posts: 67,374
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|  05-03-2016, 12:47 PM | #34 | 
| So Fucking Banned Industry Role:  Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: the beach, SoCal 
					Posts: 107,089
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|  05-03-2016, 01:02 PM | #35 | 
| StraightBro Industry Role:  Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Monarch Beach, CA USA 
					Posts: 56,229
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|  05-03-2016, 02:19 PM | #36 | 
| 你自己去他媽的 Industry Role:  Join Date: Mar 2008 
					Posts: 23,347
				 | i had contact with some huge spider.Thanks god it didnt bite me | 
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|  05-03-2016, 05:43 PM | #37 | |
| Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: CO, US 
					Posts: 3,056
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|  05-04-2016, 08:36 AM | #38 | 
| Confirmed User Industry Role:  Join Date: Jul 2015 Location: Chicago 
					Posts: 474
				 | Lived in Utah for a while. Had a mountain lion in our backyard once We staying inside so not dangerously close.  Couple times ran into some moose on hikes. Those things are scary big. Skiing once through a wooded area and came across a very angry porcupine maybe 3 feet a way. I got the hell out of there as soon as it started to turn around to shoot its quills. 
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|  05-04-2016, 10:07 AM | #39 | 
| StraightBro Industry Role:  Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Monarch Beach, CA USA 
					Posts: 56,229
				 | My Grandmother lived in the Northwest. When I was 6 she came across a fairly young mountain lion that had been hit by a car.  She nursed him back to health and for years he would not leave her. When we visited he treated us like one of his own. She would let him out at night and he would be back before daybreak, rarely he'd bring a dead raccoon, dog or rabbit with him. He ended up living under the house and one day never came back. | 
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|  05-04-2016, 07:19 PM | #40 | 
| frc Industry Role:  Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Bitcoin wallet 
					Posts: 4,663
				 | Had a cougar in a tree a few feet from my house. I went outside to see what the noise was about and it roared almost in my face, I bravely (haha) backed into the house and closed the door. 
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