You obviously don't have kids. Using your logic banks should just let bank robbers rob banks since they are going to do it anyways. It doesn't matter if the sneak off and do it. Setting down rules that must be followed is not a BAD thing for kids to learn. In grown up world you get told NO very often. He might as well learn that now.

I am sure you're a decent mom who makes good decisions. If I were you my answer would be no, but it depends on the kid too, your relationship with him and "trust factor" as well.

Another tard that doesn't have kids trying to tell parents how to be parents. It's always easy looking from the outside.

wtf does having a friend that is a girl have to do with condoms?

OVER PROTECTIVE

you think like that because you are indeed a closest religious nut on your views.

and ill play into your statement for a sec, wtf makes you think that if they want to have sex they wouldnt of done it already? and by somehow making it wrong to them it helps them want to look for use of condoms?

Good choice, you don't want your 14 year old turning into a 15 year old father in 9 months.

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

when i was 13 i was all about touching boobies and playing truth or dare... which lead to me loosing my virginity at 14 in woods in a tree house :1orglaugh

If you really think its perfectly fine for 13 year olds to be fucking, have fun raising kids. If they have already done it or not makes no difference. A parent shouldn't make it seem like its ok. This doesn't mean to demonize sex. Just make them realize that they are way too young and immature to be doing something that comes with very adult consequences.

I don't think it would have been a big deal honestly. You are right there with them the whole night.

Trust me, if your son wants to bang her, he's not going to ask you if she can sleep over first. ;)

My daughter has gone to co-ed sleep overs.

I've armed her with information and condoms, so if she happens to have sex, which.. all of us do eventually.. I know I've done everything I can to prepare her and help her protect herself.

Are you seriously trying to compare having sex to robbing a bank?

If your kid ends up robbing banks, you probably failed as a parent. If your kid eventually has sex, your kid is human.

The job of a parent is not to stop his kid from having sex, the job of a parent is to make sure his kid is aware of the consequences and risks involved, and knows to wait until he or she is (mostly) ready emotionally.

Have you ever heard the story about the teen who chose not to have sex because his parents told him not to? Neither have I, since it never happened. But on the other hand, there are many teens who choose to wait a bit a bit longer because they don't think they're ready yet.

The goal you want to achieve is a kid who waits until he's 16 or 17 and in a steady, long-term, monogamous relationship with someone he really likes before having sex - while using full protection (both the pill and condoms). If you do well, your kid will even come to you with questions - something that definitely won't happen if the only thing you say is "no".

First of all.....How old were you when you lost your virginity?
If you educate your child right he will make the correct decisions for himself. Do you want to be that parent that eventually finds out that your child hides almost everything about himself from you? Or would you rather your son be more open and feel like he can communicate with you? Yes he is still a child and has a lot of growing up to do but he is starting to learn and explore things about life and you should allow him to do so with in limits and maybe express what those are to him first rather than just saying no?
The only reason I believe in this method is because it is the way in which I grew up and learned to respect my mother more for it. I could go on about this topic all day but basically in the end..........there is no right or wrong way of handling such a situation......hes eventually gonna have sex........the only thing is......will he be responsible when he does?

At least he will never come home saying that hes pregnant! LOL

point out where i said its ok for them?

you were the one who said they would be fucking.

for me i see innocence in 13yo boy having a friend that is also a girl. i had lots of girl friends when i was young, they would come over to my house parties and stay the night. i didnt go around and start having sex with all of them.

overprotective parents are the worse.

"A parent shouldn't make it seem like its ok. This doesn't mean to demonize sex."

how does not making it seem like it is ok not demonize sex? i really cannot believe some of you people.

Uh, because they are too young?? Half the time I can't tell if you are posting shit to just rile up people or if you are actually serious but i think 13 years are too young to be fucking. And sure, there could be innoncence in that but if you read the posts you'd see the girls parents said they were girlfriend/boyfriend at one point. Everyone has their own opinions but kids grow up too fucking fast these days and if only they could see what lies ahead they'd probably just want to be kids for a little bit longer.

i am not trying to rile you up just pointing out the idiocy of people making such a big deal about it.

you say kids grow up to fast these days but then apply something not innocent to a situation that is most likely 100% innocent. so what if they were gf and bf that is sweet imo. young love is a wicked thing.

it is you people with twisted minds that start thinking sex out of such an innocent situation. just like religious nuts do.

kids grow up whether you like it or not. you should be guiding them and letting them make their own decisions so come time to make a decision they can make the proper one on their own.

please point out to me where it says "my 13yo son is having a girl over to have sex with"

Ideally, I agree with everything you are saying however their own decision comes back on me when I basically have to raise my kids kid because they thought they were mature enough to have sex.

i understand where you are coming from i appreciate the discussion.

we were all kids once and there was always the friends in the group whos parents at one point didnt trust them for something small, so the kid just ended up doing it anyway and the next time did not even bother asking for permission because they thought their parents wouldnt trust them in the first place. when you start to not trust in your kids they will go off and discover it on their own.

always a fine line, no real right or wrongs.

PS GatorB is an idiot.

considering the times, shouldn't you be just as worried he is having gay sex with his male friends when they sleep over ?

Completely agreed.

LOL, hey babe!!! I know I'm no angel, but my son doesn't know that! hehehe! I'm happy he talks to his dad and I about things, too many things sometimes. lol He was furious the other night about the girl not spending the night, but after we talked, he was over it, and was an angel today, I offered to have her for crab legs for dinner tonight......he even said he was sorry for getting mad at me the other night for not letting her spend the night! He's still my baby! hehehe ;) She seems like a sweet heart, but as a mom, I have to act protective.....it's my job! ;) btw, give me a call sometime!

I'm 24 and my parents would still be pissed/freaked out if I had a guy stay over at my parents house. Good thing I haven't lived at home for many moons! :1orglaugh:1orglaugh

I wouldn't let one of my 14-year-old daughter's guy friends sleep over my house. I'm not crazy strict at all and I talk very openly with my daughter about sex, drugs, life, etc. I think it helps to minimize temptation when they're at such a confusing age.

Nope, your fine. Boy / Girl sleep overs are a big no no. They can do that after they move out and they have their own place.

One time I came home while I was in the Marines, and I brought home a girlfriend. My parents made us sleep in different rooms - I was twenty-one at the time. And I was okay with that.

Yes, but it's much better to explain WHY you said no, if you don't give kids the information they don't have the knowledge they need to make informed choices.

I think id be more likely to allow it at 13 than 16

I am very open with my kids and have had very frank conversations with them about sex. Not just the pregnancy and disease part but what the emotional ramifications are also. That said I would not let my kids have an opposite sex sleep over. My daughter is 14 and my son 16 and I am not going to make it easy on them to be tempted. They both had friends sleep over last Halloween and the boys slept downstairs in the living room, the girls in my daughters room and either party would have had to walk past my open door to get one place or the other. I also talked to each kids parents so I knew that they knew the situation and were okay with it.
Its not about being over protective but teenagers do have impulse control problems. The best you can do is educate them and hope they do the right thing but again even if they are going to do it anyway I am not going to serve it up on a silver platter.

You can certainly prevent them from having sex in your house but if they really want to do it they'll find a way to get some. Either way, school him on the usage of condoms so you're not a premature grandmother.