lol. Don't you just talk about how good you are at fucking women? I guess you suck at it then.

But I'm done with this thread, I gotta get back to my video games. I'll let you be the tough guy around here if that's important to you.

Oook then, I can see your point. If he's not doing things with you and neglects things around the house just to game, then I can see your point, that'd get pretty frustrating.

Sure video games are fun, but family and home needs to come first.

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Just wait until March 2nd rolls around. If he is so attached to MW2, just wait until Bad Company 2 comes out. You won't see him for a YEAR.

hahahahah

everything in moderation is healthy. i suggest counseling or sitting him down and letting him know how u feel and maybe he will take a second look at himself and realize he has a problem.

some people are just not as compatible as others, I've had girlfriends that loved nothing more than sitting for hours gaming or puttering around online, and we had a great relationship without any hassles

if he is not the type of guy that counts "having friends over" as great fun, you are only going to torture him by insisting on that kind of thing... for some people, taking them away from something they love to do to force them to interact with people is like the ultimate punishment


there are guys that like to socialize every waking hour, and those are the guys that make good matches for the type of woman that counts that as a priority (although I supect you'd have more issues with fidelity with guys that are big into socializing compared to the guy that likes a peaceful life with minimal stress in front of his videogame console)

NikKay, I used to be a video game addict myself so perhaps I could shed some light on the issue you're facing.

This may not apply to your case, but I'll give you some details of mine. At the time, I was also with a gorgeous, sexual woman who I had built a relationship with over the course of some years. I had always been a video game lover, but it was denied to me when I was a kid. So, I had spent the early part of my adulthood "getting back" what I felt was lost, which was as much video game time as possible, even at the expense of my relationship. On top of that, I saw it as an escape from the harsh realities of life. I did not have a job (couldn't keep one) and life was difficult. I found solace and comfort in video games...moreso than what was provided by my woman. Simply put...the games did more to dull the harshness of life than my woman did.

Ironically, not long after we had split up for good, my obsession with video games pretty much disappeared. It led me to believe that the woman I was with was actually a part of what created that stress and need to escape...not the root cause, but certainly a contributor. Nowadays, I do occasionally find myself playing a game for a little too long (especially RPGs), and sometimes it irritates the woman I'm with now (and have two children with). But now it's easy to recognize that something is wrong with life...there's a deeper issue involved, and it's making me seek an escape.

So in reality, it's a large number of compounded factors, not just a single issue. Like so many problems in life, if you try approaching it from a single point of view, you will not only fail to make any progress, but could actually make the problem worse. What you've stated leads me to believe that he has unrelated issues that fuel his obsession, and one of these issues is likely "a mother issue". Men who did not develop a good relationship with their mother during their childhood (as I did not) do not find it easy to form close bonds with women beyond a sexual level. They may eventually learn how to do this (as I did), but it is not as easy for them as it is for a man who had a good, strong relationship with his mother. The fact that he is unaware of what's going on around him and needs you to tell him to do things is a telltale sign of this; unconsciously, he needs a "mother figure" to give him direction. But the reason you're not having any luck in this particular aspect is because it's not getting through to him in the way his brain requires.

There's plenty else that can be said of this situation you're going through right now but I can assure you that you're not the only one who's having problems...he's got problems too. The both of you need to recognize and work on your own respective problems before trying to help the other with theirs. And believe me when I say that being a beautiful, sexually-open, money-making successful mother-of-his-children doesn't really mean a thing when it comes down to understanding a person's innermost feelings and needs. The two of you are clearly not on the same page. :(

Now what I'm NOT saying is to "just let it be". There is clearly a problem at hand. What I am saying though is that this is a problem that is not going to be solved easily, and in all reality, a therapist is likely gonna make it worse, not better. If anything, he needs a new form of escape, and it sounds like you do too.

I don't fucking have to deal with stupid shit like video games or football
I'm fucking wonderful

you are reading too much psychological gobbledygook into the situation, you might be right, but your own situation might be way off from his, but that doesn't matter as much as when you say that "he needs a new form of escape", why is that? if he is happy with the form of escape he has now, then he may not want anything to change other than the stress he is getting from her about it :2 cents:

Perhaps. But when all else fails, an alternate point of view might come in handy. After all, she wouldn't have posted about it if she wasn't looking for ideas, right? His situation is probably not like mine was, but a wise person can read a case and see if there's any common threads, then see if any of the solutions might help. It can work, but it doesn't mean it will work. It's always worth a try though. But it's clear that his current method of escape is not conducive to their relationship. Furthermore, do we really know that he is happy with his present form of escape, or is it simply the most comfortable and accessible one for him?

possibly, and I know you are trying to give positive advice

I know that trying to make someone change is often futile though and leads to more stress and unhappiness, than just letting it be and doing your best within yourself, perhaps the person may change a little bit on their own, but I don't think any case of trying to make a guy change and bringing in counsellors or therapists and all that bs will ever have a happy outcome

just what i thought you running away with your tail between your legs.

you jealous your not a BIG INTERNET TOUGH GUY? :warning

HUH? punk :warning

"He just says that he wants me to simply tell him what I expect so he can do it."


If he REALLY said that, to you.. run your ass, like hell
You are alot like Ms. Heather... alot.. and I cannot imagine her with such a crybaby wishy washy loser.. no fucking way.. seeing women like you with clowns like these makes me sick

Men don't put video games before family
SOME of us even know better than to waste our time on that or football

WOULD YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP TRY HARD!

god pathetic.

Bolded for emphasis. :) Very rarely do "professionals" really have much effect...they usually just make things worse. But yeah...when someone has a problem, they need to work it out on their own. One can only ever change one's own problems. What I'm suggesting, really, is perhaps a change of "distraction"...perhaps they need to go out and do things aside from the norm. Routine can be a real mindkiller, so maybe they just need a change of pace.

My girl will bitch at me for playing games, and then turn around and watch TMZ and some other mindless bullshit for a few hours a night..

Which is worse ? her watching mindless celebrity trash for a few hours, or me entertaining myself while honing my reflexes, hand-eye co-ordination and problem solving skills?

Games are very much entertainment, but I think most guys agree that it's a different level of entertainment compared to even a great movie..

Some of the best games I've played gave me months of enjoyment, while a TV show or movie only lasts a few hours, and you're only a passenger on the experience, not a participant like in a video game.

for the record, I don't watch ANY tv, very few movies, but read lots of books, and play an assload of video games...

It's an addiction, but it's not unhealthy at this point, for me anyway.

It's fun. You're not... as fun.

Well, I'll tell ya this...if my woman comes into the living room wearing nothing but my favorite lacy bra, it doesn't matter WHAT I'm doing...playing a video game, watching a movie, etc., it all takes a back seat to what's going to go on in the bedroom in about 5 seconds. Controller gets put down, movie paused, whatever...

The game/movie/whatever will be there when I get back. If I blow her off, she might not be there next time.

This sounds a lot like a situation someone I know went through. A friend of mine works with a woman who was married and had three kids. She started playing World of Warcraft. She didn't just play occasionally, she became obsessed with it. It got bad enough that on a few different occasions she forgot to pick her kids of from their sports practices or school. She would get home from work, change into her sweats and play the game until she went to bed. On weekends it was pretty much an all day event. At one point her computer broke. She was told by a family friend it that they would come out and fix it on Saturday. It was Thursday when it broke. She couldn't wait a day and a half so she went and bought a new computer. Eventually her husband took the computer away. She lost it and walked out on them.

About a month later they got divorced. After they divorced she continued to play the game for a few months and still plays it now, but not nearly as much. Now she says that she was very unhappy in her marriage and that she found solace of sorts from the game so it was her escape. Her husband seemed like a cool guy and even she said he was a good guy, but she just fell out of love with him and didn't want to deal with him anymore. The game was just how her feelings eventually manifested themselves.

I'm not saying you are in the same situation. Maybe he just likes the games and they are entertainment. Where other people watch TV or read a book he plays games. But I think there is probably a pretty good chance that he is unhappy about something and is choosing to bury his feelings in the game instead of facing them.

Ask him right out what he would do if you asked him to stop playing the games and get rid of the game console. How he responds will tell you a lot about where he stands.

Find a new man. Seriously.

You will not stop a gamer from gaming until he's ready to quit. It's a real addiction.

Divorce him now. Why wait? It's inevitable.

I just read page one so if u get pissed my bad... Why would u ever ask for marriage/relationship advise on an adult/porn forum when you're in THERAPY for the issues.... i hope he doesn't read this board casue next session would be me complaining about u asking for advise here :2 cents:

Because video games fucking rule, that's why.

you always got a stud for you waiting in NY if things dont work out :):):):pimp:pimp

chicks who dont like video games suck in bed, ;)

love me some gamer girl pussy

And it's possible that he just might be one of those people who needs time by himself, and video games give him that outlet while still being mentally stimulating (good games now are more than just button mashing, many involve coming up with strategies/tactics, if he plays games that require such things it may also be fulfilling a sort of 'mental exercise' kind of thing).

Because video games are so nice!!

I have a brother that does this, but at least he has a full time job. Anytime in-between he's on his fucking Xbox360.

I'm not into consoles, but I do play Call of Duty a couple times a week, (even though the bastard nerds who play 24/7 own me like I'm their little bitch). :1orglaugh

Does he work or are you the only earner? I am an avid gamer and maintain a healthy balance between work/family/playing time....

I think it's a phase, as mine is...Once I realize I can beat a major % of the real world out there(currently ranked 6k), time to find something new...

But you have to realize, that is probably the single best released game and most hyped of the year...so of course he's addicted.

:thumbsup:thumbsup

We should go out sometime...

this is funny ..... here is one way to resolve the issue.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=yO_YwCjkr-E

What's pathetic?
Not wasting time watching some goons run around making a fortune chasing eachother??
Yeah,
I'll shut up... I'm more and more scarce around here and will be

Yes go on...

But seriously if you have kids the video games should be put away. When my daughter was born I deleted mine.

don't marry a 14 year old - or someone with a mind like that. easy