Originally Posted by Amputate Your Head
(Post 17349530)
Amp's Top 10 Tips For Avoiding Police Taserings & Death - Jul 2010
1. Avoid the police at all costs.
This may be hard for some that are of the mind that only the police can save us from ourselves. But of course, it is also the most obvious. Simply stay away from any and all police and you'll be fine.
2. If you see police, very carefully and slowly, walk away.
Apply the same rule as for strange dogs: Don't run. They will chase you down and shoot you in the street. Just turn around, walk away slowly, and be very conspicuous about "minding your own business" involving something else.... anything else than what they are focused on. Stare through a store window or something to appear as an oblivious shopper. If able, get in a car and drive away, again... slowly.
3. Never, ever give the police a reason to be eyeballing you.
This is similar to using a radar detector in your car. Let them focus on some other poor bastard. See a cop: Be a model citizen.
4. Never, ever offer up information that isn't being beaten out of you.
Keep your fucking mouth shut. Under no circumstances should you ever offer information.
5. Distraction, deception, & diversion.
If you must engage with a cop, use your intellect & creativity to distract & divert. Feign being lost or losing some item or being distraught over some random family issue. The cop will feel like a boy scout and gladly help out, forgetting all about whatever other issue he was focused on before. If his buddies show up though, you're going to have to "compose yourself" quickly before they determine you a threat to society. This tactic is only temporary and has a limited-use shelf life.
6. Never, ever tell a cop you are going to report him or anything else.
Just keep your trap shut! Mouthing off and telling cops you're going to report their fucked up behavior only brings more pain. Nightsticks, kicking, tasers, etc. You'll be glad later when you actually get to talk to your lawyer and bring a suit against them.
7. The police are your BFF.
That's right, they are the best friends you never had. It's hard to swallow a steaming turd but, do whatever you can to make those police feel like they just saved your life. Stroke the ego, not the taser finger. You'll live to watch Seinfeld another day.
8. Speak up & out against police wrongdoing, just never in front of them.
Remember, police are assholes like everybody else. But they are a special kind of asshole. An asshole that can bring you some pain. Save your outrage for later. Telling a cop he's a douche has only two outcomes: Tasering or death.
9. Be cool during an arrest.
If you are cuffed & stuffed for any reason, just chill from that point forward. Don't try to be cute or clever, like switching around your hands/arms back to the front while in the car. They are never amused. They will pull you out, throw you on the ground and kick you. (been there, done that).
10. Fido is toast.
Sacrifice your animals. If you're stopped or confronted by police and your dog freaks out and starts barking, he's on his own. The police will try to shoot him, and if you try to tell them not to or worse, actually try to stop them from killing your dog, then the dog still dies and you get tasered or dead, or both.
:2 cents:
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