Jackhammer Jesus? - GoFuckYourself.com

RuthB · 05-18-2011, 07:47 AM

I was re-reading Crooked Little Vein by Warren Ellis (well worth the read!), and at the back of the copy I have there are some interesting suggestion links. I visited this one and was amazed at what I found... (hotlinks below!)

Jackhammer Jesus

Baby Jesus

Virgin Mary

and even Holy Water Lube!

The descriptions are hilarious...

Holy Water Lube:
"Warding off dryness since 159 B.C.
Jesus wept but you don't have to.
Don't spend forty days and forty nights in the desert!
Bless your sweet pootang and dip that ass in the Water of LIFE!

Baptize that John and make it an upright Christian!
Hide the Pulpit with the speed of an Olympic luge!

Don't just give into temptation...Slide into it..and out of it..and into it."

Virgin Mary
"Hail Mary!

Virgin Mary like most smart women knows there is a Second Coming. And a Third. And a Fourth.

So give the Lucky Virgin what she wants!

"The Mother is.... Superior."

There's more at the site, including Buddha!!

Grapesoda · 05-18-2011, 07:48 AM

This Account Has Been Suspended

Caligari · 05-18-2011, 07:49 AM

yep great stuff, divine interventions has been around for a while but to my knowledge never did an affiliate program unfortunately.

Caligari · 05-18-2011, 07:50 AM

ruth you have a typo on that bottom link should be
http://www.divine-interventions.com/

Markul · 05-18-2011, 07:51 AM

Bwhahaha awesome! Now go make a Muhammed Cum-covered-turban-Bomb :D

RuthB · 05-18-2011, 07:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bm bradley

This Account Has Been Suspended

I messed up the bottom link, sorry!

It's http://www.divine-interventions.com

RuthB · 05-18-2011, 07:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caligari

ruth you have a typo on that bottom link should be
http://www.divine-interventions.com/

lol thanks, I saw and fixed it (Edit FTW!!)

seeandsee · 05-18-2011, 07:54 AM

this will make some people burn in hell :D

if bible is truth

SEXTANT · 05-18-2011, 07:59 AM

funny stuffs

Shey · 05-18-2011, 08:12 AM

Oh suffering Catholics will rise and... do nothing, heh they never do. Want shit done, talk to the Muslims. Funny shit though :D

96ukssob · 05-18-2011, 08:24 AM

This Saturday... this Saturday...

RuthB · 05-18-2011, 09:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bossku69

This Saturday... this Saturday...

marlboroack · 05-18-2011, 10:05 AM

Holy Dildo

fatfoo · 05-18-2011, 10:11 AM

That is funny.

v4 media · 05-18-2011, 11:22 AM

I gave my mother in law a baby jesus buttplug a couple of years ago for Christmas.
I think she regifted.

TondaB · 05-18-2011, 11:26 AM

Looks like I have new gag gift material! Thanks

CaptainHowdy · 05-18-2011, 11:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shey

Oh suffering Catholics will rise and... do nothing, heh they never do. Want shit done, talk to the Muslims. Funny shit though :D

Christians can be crass too ...

Sarah_Jayne · 05-18-2011, 11:49 AM

We actually have all of those in this house. The Baby Jesus butt plug comes out at Christmas.

Gabriel · 05-18-2011, 11:55 AM

They need a Facebook page so i can "Like" it.

RuthB · 05-18-2011, 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sarah_MaxCash

We actually have all of those in this house. The Baby Jesus butt plug comes out at Christmas.

bahahahaha that's awesome Sarah

have you ever read Warren Ellis?

http://www.amazon.com/Crooked-Little.../dp/0060723939

Quote:

Crooked Little Vein
Michael McGill is a burned-out private detective who suddenly becomes enlisted by an army of presidential goons to retrieve the Constitution of the United States, but not the one we all know about. This would be the real Constitution (the one with invisible amendments) created by some of the Founding Fathers as a fallback for their great experiment. Along the way, McGill gains a polyamorous sidekick named Trix, gets scared to death by what men do with warm salty water, and descends into a world where crime, sex, and madness all seem to be the same thing.

Full of mind-bending style and packed with a wild cast of characters, Crooked Little Vein infuses Robert B. Parker with Kurt Vonnegut and the madness of the graphic-novel world. A surprisingly surreal treat, it will appeal to hardcore comic fans, mystery aficionados, and all readers looking for a riotous summer reading adventure.

Sample Chapter One of Crooked Little Vein

"Chapter One. I opened my eyes to see the rat taking a piss in my coffee mug. It was a huge brown bastard; had a body like a turd with legs and beady black eyes full of secret rat knowledge."

Crooked Little Vein puts you right in the gutter from the first sentence and doesn't let up. Sample the goods with a look at the complete first chapter, and see if you don't get hooked.

The Godzilla bukkake scene is just incredible

05-18-2011, 07:47 AM	#1
RuthB Let's Get Paxumized! Industry Role: Join Date: May 2005 Location: Vancouver, Canada Posts: 7,247	Jackhammer Jesus? I was re-reading Crooked Little Vein by Warren Ellis (well worth the read!), and at the back of the copy I have there are some interesting suggestion links. I visited this one and was amazed at what I found... (hotlinks below!) Jackhammer Jesus Baby Jesus Virgin Mary and even Holy Water Lube! The descriptions are hilarious... Holy Water Lube: "Warding off dryness since 159 B.C. Jesus wept but you don't have to. Don't spend forty days and forty nights in the desert! Bless your sweet pootang and dip that ass in the Water of LIFE! Baptize that John and make it an upright Christian! Hide the Pulpit with the speed of an Olympic luge! Don't just give into temptation...Slide into it..and out of it..and into it." Virgin Mary "Hail Mary! Virgin Mary like most smart women knows there is a Second Coming. And a Third. And a Fourth. So give the Lucky Virgin what she wants! "The Mother is.... Superior." There's more at the site, including Buddha!! __________________ Send & Receive Mass Global Payments - Mass P2P/Wire/EFT/SEPA - Adult Industry Friendly - Award Winning Payment Service - Fast, Reliable & Secure! Paxum ...... Paxum Bank Email: [email protected] ~ Telegram: PaxumRuth Last edited by RuthB; 05-18-2011 at 07:50 AM..

05-18-2011, 07:49 AM	#3
Caligari Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: At The Mountains Of Madness Posts: 5,414	yep great stuff, divine interventions has been around for a while but to my knowledge never did an affiliate program unfortunately. __________________ ATTN Webmasters Cruel Bucks - LIVE Gonzo Does Not Pay ------------------------------------------------ Animal Rescue Click Here to Feed An Animal for Free

05-18-2011, 07:50 AM	#4
Caligari Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: At The Mountains Of Madness Posts: 5,414	ruth you have a typo on that bottom link should be http://www.divine-interventions.com/ __________________ ATTN Webmasters Cruel Bucks - LIVE Gonzo Does Not Pay ------------------------------------------------ Animal Rescue Click Here to Feed An Animal for Free

05-18-2011, 07:54 AM	#8
seeandsee Check SIG! Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Europe (Skype: gojkoas) Posts: 50,945	this will make some people burn in hell :D if bible is truth __________________ BUY MY SIG - 50$/Year Contact here

05-18-2011, 08:12 AM	#10
Shey Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 1,654	Oh suffering Catholics will rise and... do nothing, heh they never do. Want shit done, talk to the Muslims. Funny shit though :D __________________ Regards, Shey <at> datePROFITS.com\| ICQ: 279858568 \| Skype: sheysworld \| Y!M: sheyla702 datePROFITS: Every Niche of ExGF Dating Sites!

05-18-2011, 07:48 AM	#2
Grapesoda So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Montana Posts: 46,238	This Account Has Been Suspended

05-18-2011, 07:51 AM	#5
Markul Likes Pie Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: The land that liberated porn Posts: 12,401	Bwhahaha awesome! Now go make a Muhammed Cum-covered-turban-Bomb :D

05-18-2011, 07:59 AM	#9
SEXTANT T-SHIRTS, HOODIES IN SIG Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Ocean Posts: 4,950	funny stuffs

05-18-2011, 08:24 AM	#11
96ukssob So Fucking Banananananas Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: If I was in your ass you'd know it Posts: 12,991	This Saturday... this Saturday... __________________ Email: Clicky on Me

05-18-2011, 10:05 AM	#13
marlboroack So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: ☣ Posts: 9,327	Holy Dildo

05-18-2011, 10:11 AM	#14
fatfoo ICQ:649699063 Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 27,763	That is funny. __________________ Send me an email: [email protected]

05-18-2011, 11:22 AM	#15
v4 media Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Spain Posts: 2,934	I gave my mother in law a baby jesus buttplug a couple of years ago for Christmas. I think she regifted.

05-18-2011, 11:26 AM	#16
TondaB Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2002 Location: California Posts: 3,162	Looks like I have new gag gift material! Thanks __________________ ICQ: 61462417

05-18-2011, 11:49 AM	#18
Sarah_Jayne Now with more Jayne Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 40,077	We actually have all of those in this house. The Baby Jesus butt plug comes out at Christmas.

05-18-2011, 11:55 AM	#19
Gabriel Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: So*Cal Posts: 4,789	They need a Facebook page so i can "Like" it. __________________ ICQ#: 142295729