I am constipated - GoFuckYourself.com

nikki99 · 08-20-2011, 08:11 AM

I am not sure what to do

drmadcat · 08-20-2011, 08:15 AM

use your finger

nikki99 · 08-20-2011, 08:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drmadcat

use your finger

Jarmusch · 08-20-2011, 08:19 AM

Call one of your buddies and schedule a backdoor delivery.

seeandsee · 08-20-2011, 08:25 AM

call for pizza, and then let worker to deliver it inside...

L-Pink · 08-20-2011, 08:27 AM

Your gerbil probably drowned in sperm.

TwinCities · 08-20-2011, 08:29 AM

I am sure after all those poundings you have taken your arse doesnt work right anymore. Lol

MrCain · 08-20-2011, 08:37 AM

OJ and anal sex.

nikki99 · 08-20-2011, 09:05 AM

updates: got enema

amateurbfs · 08-20-2011, 09:06 AM

poop chute ready for service

Freaky_Akula · 08-20-2011, 09:13 AM

Post proof!

BumpUglyz · 08-20-2011, 09:13 AM

Sit on a block of Cheese, then swallow a mouse

CurrentlySober · 08-20-2011, 12:38 PM

You may be constipated... But I am undeniably attracted to this thread...

cooldude7 · 08-20-2011, 12:40 PM

drink lots of water/juice, walk or run for 2-3 hours and if nothing happens, eat banana.

hope this helps., i m not kidding., take care.

cooldude7 · 08-20-2011, 12:46 PM

pics or ban. :P

Juicy D. Links · 08-20-2011, 12:49 PM

Taco bell lolol

Scott McD · 08-20-2011, 12:51 PM

I done 3 shits already today...

barcodes · 08-20-2011, 01:03 PM

Good luck with the enema.

Diomed · 08-20-2011, 01:27 PM

Stay off the codeine.

CyberHustler · 08-20-2011, 01:32 PM

Quote:

Marijuana and Constipation
by Anonymous

We have heard of only one other person who uses cannabis to relieve constipation. We will be most interested in learning more about this use. But at present there is little more that we can do but present this interesting clinical vignette.

I am a single, 43 year old, college educated, self-employed Caucasian male. With the exception of a few years I spent abroad and one other year when I was just too busy, I have used marijuana regularly since I was 14. While my use of marijuana during my adult life has been very regular, often daily, I have managed to function as well as most individuals in similar situations with similar resources. I usually smoked marijuana in the evening before bed and never used marijuana when I was working or trying to study.

I haven?t been nominated for a Nobel Prize, but few who know me would characterize me as a low-life either. I worked my way through college and two years of graduate school, have learned to communicate in two Asian languages, earned a black belt (in Japan), and worked in several of the best known banks (Sumitomo), brokerages (Merrill Lynch) and computer companies (IBM) in the U.S. and abroad. I currently own and manage my own small business from my home.

For most of my life, my marijuana consumption has been purely recreational.

In my early 30s, I spent several years living, working and studying in Asia. While the experiences were very rewarding, they were not without stress. I worked very hard, slept poorly and ate foods which were largely unfamiliar to me. One of the seeming results of this lifestyle was very poor digestion. I began to experience irregularity, constipation and occasional diarrhea. I didn?t have the time or money to pursue medical treatment and wasn?t sure what I was experiencing was so unusual, and so just endured, hoping that things would get better soon.

After a few years, I returned to the states and more familiar surroundings, but found my digestion wasn?t any better. In fact it was getting noticeably worse. I was experiencing real intestinal discomfort almost every morning, often persisting through out the day. I felt like I desperately wanted to empty my bowels, but even with time and considerable effort, I could not. I tried so hard, I gave myself a serious case of hemorrhoids, but couldn?t relieve myself.

I tried numerous laxatives but found them to be either ineffective or too effective with no way to judge how much was needed or when. I also began to eat pure whole-wheat fibre, one teaspoonful with a glass of water, but this did little, if only irritate my bowels.

These problems began to interfere with my work as I found it harder to get out of the house in the morning and found myself making more and more frequent and longer trips to the men?s room. Moreover, I am sure I was far less fun to be around while dealing with my discomfort. It?s hard to be a wonderful nice smiling person when you are so uncomfortable. A good attitude can go right to hell very quickly.

But while at home on weekends, I began to notice that if I smoked marijuana while feeling constipated, my bowels would relax and perhaps 3 out of 4 times, I would be able to relieve myself. I began to "self-medicate" without realizing that is what I was doing. After all, I had been smoking marijuana for many years and continued to regard my use as recreational. But the connection became more obvious when I smoked marijuana in the mornings. For whatever reason, if I smoked one or two hits and walked to the bathroom feeling constipated, I could usually relieve myself within a minute or two and get on with my day.

This was truly a blessing. Marijuana worked to produce an immediate result, usually in less than two minutes. Although I have never discussed my marijuana use with a physician, in the past 5 or 6 years, I?ve had several physicals at a local HMO which pronounced me healthy; no HIV, prostrate, diabetes, or other obvious problems. When I mention constipation and diet?perhaps I didn?t complain loud enough?but the doctors seemed to suggest my diet was normal, if not adequate, and discomfort was also fairly normal. Part of getting old. It is hard to explain how much discomfort my intestinal disorder causes. Everyone has experienced occasional discomfort, so when I mention mine, most people can?t appreciate what I experience. It would be exaggerating to suggest my condition is life threatening, but it is certainly disabling. It?s a little like having a splinter stuck in your hand while you are trying to use the hand. I can?t focus on anything for more than a moment without thinking about how I feel. I began to turn over so much in bed at night, my (then, now former) significant other slept on the couch. I am a relatively intelligent man who needs to use his mind to earn a living, but when I?m unable to concentrate for more than a few moments at a time, very little gets done. (Example; having to read the same paragraph three or four times because each time, before a comprehensive thought is constructed, my mind is distracted by the discomfort of my intestinal disorder. When my attention returns to my reading, I?ve lost my place and need to begin again.) While I have never lost a job because of my condition, I have left several positions and declined others knowing that, although I could do the work, I simply wouldn?t be able to keep up and pull my weight. As a result, I am today self-employed and would find outside full time employment very difficult. It would be inappropriate to compare the cost of marijuana to conventional laxatives because, in my case, marijuana works while conventional laxatives? at any price?do not. Moreover, the act of delivering the drug via smoke allows for immediate, self-adjusting doses; I don?t have to guess how many pills to swallow and wait to see what happens. You can?t smoke laxatives. None-the-less, marijuana is expensive. Far too expensive. I smoke individual bong hits (of California Sinsemilla daily). Joints are fine for groups of people but are wasteful for an individual who only needs one or two hits. I?ve also experimented with vaporizers with mixed results. Vaporizers seem to function well to get high, but I do not experience the same intestinal relief afterward. (This suggests to me that something other than the vaporized psychoactive particles is responsible for relieving my bowels.) I don?t eat marijuana for the same reason I don?t eat laxatives; you can?t judge the required dose or when, or even if, it will take effect. Might be fun, but would almost certainly be more wasteful than a bong hit. I smoke in my home, almost always alone. I do not transport, sell, or otherwise advocate. And while I live in a state that theoretically might give legal sanction to my use, I have every reason to doubt any government involvement in this area.

At this time, I have never discussed my use of marijuana with a licensed health professional and as long as there is a federal threat to revoke the license of any physician who suggests marijuana use, I can see little value in doing so. My very limited funds are better spent on self-medication that I know works, than for advice a physician is prohibited from giving. At this time, I would prefer to remain anonymous. But things are changing, and if you are interested, check with me again before you publish. I admire your work very much and would like to be helpful in anyway possible.

http://rxmarijuana.com/constipation.htm

AnimeFevers · 08-20-2011, 01:50 PM

I had to pull my poo out with my hand once it was that bad.

marlboroack · 08-20-2011, 08:39 PM

I remember a turd that hurt so bad coming out i had to grab it and pull it out of my ass.

Barry-xlovecam · 08-20-2011, 10:04 PM

senna
senosides

Enema to shoot a "monkey arm" out

KickAssJesse · 08-20-2011, 10:07 PM

Drink a Full Throttle Energy Drink

Diomed · 08-20-2011, 10:07 PM

You could always do a fruit fast for a couple of days,

somehow the water inside the fruit always stays in your intestines better than just drinking water.

bean-aid · 08-20-2011, 10:11 PM

Glad to hear the enema worked. Enjoy cleaner anal sex ;)

brassmonkey · 08-20-2011, 10:14 PM

hahahaha!! too much info

dave90210 · 08-20-2011, 10:41 PM

Wait a week and if it's still stuck up there then have it surgically removed. So you have options

HerPimp · 08-21-2011, 01:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cooldude7

pics or ban. :P

Get some digestive enzymes.

CurrentlySober · 08-21-2011, 01:45 AM

this thread is FULL OF WIN!!!

nikki99 · 08-21-2011, 07:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KickAssJesse

Drink a Full Throttle Energy Drink

really? GONNA get one now my friend has in the fridge

nikki99 · 08-21-2011, 07:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marlboroack

I remember a turd that hurt so bad coming out i had to grab it and pull it out of my ass.

ewww

chickahoona · 08-21-2011, 09:33 AM

some threads are too stupid for me...

Jey p · 08-21-2011, 10:32 AM

solutions :

a) drink a glass of orange juice early at the morning when you wake up
b) drink ALL BRAN with yoghurt
c) buy 20 ACTIVIAS at the supermarket
d) Or you can buy enemas at Farmacity

Redrob · 08-21-2011, 10:53 AM

Eat some liquorice. It has a laxative effect for most people.

Goldmaniacs · 08-21-2011, 11:20 AM

lay off the diacetylmorphine hydrochloride

V_RocKs · 08-21-2011, 04:12 PM

eat some hot stuff

Chosen · 08-21-2011, 04:20 PM

08-20-2011, 08:11 AM	#1
nikki99 Supermodel Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Sodoma & Gomorra Posts: 22,890	I am constipated I am not sure what to do __________________ SMC Revenue - Best Tgirl websites of the world now VR Non exclusive BIG Tranny/shemale Package for sale, full 2257 - hit me up skype: nikkimontero

08-20-2011, 08:15 AM	#2
drmadcat Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: in the back room wanking Posts: 2,024	use your finger __________________ asiamoviepass.com

08-20-2011, 08:25 AM	#5
seeandsee Check SIG! Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Europe (Skype: gojkoas) Posts: 50,945	call for pizza, and then let worker to deliver it inside... __________________ BUY MY SIG - 50$/Year Contact here

08-20-2011, 08:37 AM	#8
MrCain Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 3,332	OJ and anal sex. __________________ Sigmund

08-20-2011, 09:05 AM	#9
nikki99 Supermodel Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Sodoma & Gomorra Posts: 22,890	updates: got enema __________________ SMC Revenue - Best Tgirl websites of the world now VR Non exclusive BIG Tranny/shemale Package for sale, full 2257 - hit me up skype: nikkimontero

08-20-2011, 08:19 AM	#4
Jarmusch Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 12,464	Call one of your buddies and schedule a backdoor delivery.

08-20-2011, 08:27 AM	#6
L-Pink working on my tan Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Florida/Kentucky Posts: 39,151	Your gerbil probably drowned in sperm.

08-20-2011, 08:29 AM	#7
TwinCities Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 492	I am sure after all those poundings you have taken your arse doesnt work right anymore. Lol

08-20-2011, 09:06 AM	#10
amateurbfs Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 1,316	poop chute ready for service __________________

08-20-2011, 09:13 AM	#11
Freaky_Akula Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 3,670	Post proof! __________________

08-20-2011, 09:13 AM	#12
BumpUglyz Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Chicago, IL USA Posts: 1,124	Sit on a block of Cheese, then swallow a mouse __________________ http://www.whoore.com icq: 37991616

08-20-2011, 12:38 PM	#13
CurrentlySober Too lazy to wipe my ass Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: A Public Bathroom Posts: 38,594	You may be constipated... But I am undeniably attracted to this thread... __________________ My AI Handywork... My Dream Gal... XXX 👁️ 👍️ 💩

08-20-2011, 12:40 PM	#14
cooldude7 Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Heaven Posts: 4,306	drink lots of water/juice, walk or run for 2-3 hours and if nothing happens, eat banana. hope this helps., i m not kidding., take care.

08-20-2011, 12:46 PM	#15
cooldude7 Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Heaven Posts: 4,306	pics or ban. :P

08-20-2011, 12:49 PM	#16
Juicy D. Links So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: N.Y. -Long Island -- Posts: 122,992	Taco bell lolol

08-20-2011, 12:51 PM	#17
Scott McD Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Glasgow, Scotland Posts: 67,795	I done 3 shits already today... __________________ I Buy My High Quality Traffic Here, You Should Too!

08-20-2011, 01:03 PM	#18
barcodes Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Florida Posts: 2,040	Good luck with the enema.

08-20-2011, 01:27 PM	#19
Diomed Converting like it's 1999 Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: The South Posts: 6,164	Stay off the codeine. __________________ 10 years of experience in: CHAT SALES - PAID TRAFFIC - CONVERSION - CREATIVES - CONSULTATION

08-20-2011, 01:50 PM	#21
AnimeFevers ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ ▄ █ ▄ █ Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Tell your mom, money is on the fridge Posts: 3,560	I had to pull my poo out with my hand once it was that bad. __________________ tg - @LJFreeza email - animefevers(AT)hotmail(DOT)co(DOT)uk

08-20-2011, 08:39 PM	#22
marlboroack So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: ☣ Posts: 9,327	I remember a turd that hurt so bad coming out i had to grab it and pull it out of my ass.

08-20-2011, 10:04 PM	#23
Barry-xlovecam It's 42 Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Global Posts: 18,083	senna senosides Enema to shoot a "monkey arm" out

08-20-2011, 10:07 PM	#24
KickAssJesse Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 942	Drink a Full Throttle Energy Drink __________________ Contact - email: jesse~AT~atkcash~DOT~com - Skype: kickassjesse - ICQ: 386185547 ATK Cash $$$

08-20-2011, 10:11 PM	#26
bean-aid So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: the land of woke sleuths Posts: 16,493	Glad to hear the enema worked. Enjoy cleaner anal sex ;)

08-20-2011, 10:14 PM	#27
brassmonkey Pay It Forward Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Yo Mama House Posts: 77,143	hahahaha!! too much info __________________ TRUMP 2025 KEKAW!!! - The Laken Riley Act Is Law! DACA ENDED - SUPPORT AZ HCR 2060 52R - email: brassballz-at-techie.com

08-20-2011, 10:41 PM	#28
dave90210 Registered User Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 1,745	Wait a week and if it's still stuck up there then have it surgically removed. So you have options

08-21-2011, 01:45 AM	#30
CurrentlySober Too lazy to wipe my ass Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: A Public Bathroom Posts: 38,594	this thread is FULL OF WIN!!! __________________ My AI Handywork... My Dream Gal... XXX 👁️ 👍️ 💩

08-21-2011, 09:33 AM	#33
chickahoona Registered User Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 82	some threads are too stupid for me... __________________ ICQ: 15three-45four-84one Mail/MSN/AIM: myvibes at gmx dot net

08-21-2011, 10:32 AM	#34
Jey p Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: ARGENTINA Posts: 1,810	solutions : a) drink a glass of orange juice early at the morning when you wake up b) drink ALL BRAN with yoghurt c) buy 20 ACTIVIAS at the supermarket d) Or you can buy enemas at Farmacity __________________ Premium Web Design

08-21-2011, 10:53 AM	#35
Redrob Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: In a refrigerator box by the tracks. Posts: 4,790	Eat some liquorice. It has a laxative effect for most people.

08-21-2011, 11:20 AM	#36
Goldmaniacs Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 344	lay off the diacetylmorphine hydrochloride __________________ Sig for lease.

08-21-2011, 04:12 PM	#37
V_RocKs Damn Right I Kiss Ass! Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Cowtown, USA Posts: 32,406	eat some hot stuff

08-21-2011, 04:20 PM	#38
Chosen VIPPay.com \| AdultWebSponsors.com Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 63,151