Business How to Murder Your Wife - By Arsewithclass - GoFuckYourself.com

TheSquealer · 02-05-2016, 06:03 PM

Sorry for the copy/paste.

"8 years ago, I pulled off an incredible feat that few have gotten away with in this day and age. I murdered my wife. Don't believe me? Sounds unlikely? You think i'm too dumb to outwit the police? Haha!

Thats the point.

When I knew my wife was finally getting sick of my shit, I had to start thinking defensively about my relationship. Having worked hard in life and being the proud owner of a Soviet Lada car and a beautiful one room apartment overlooking a bustling industrial park and having a watch, I knew that if I didn't act to protect the assets which represent everything i am capable of and have done in life, I'd be left with nothing.

After some thinking, I realized that being dumb is not a problem when you surround yourself with dumb people. Thats when I realized I could hide in plain site in the Adult Industry as I carried out my plan.

What I managed to get away with still blows me away to think about it.

Generally speaking, it went like this..

Step 1) Convince my wife she's completely hot

Step 2) Convince my wife the world wants to see her

Step 3) Convince my wife that i can actually take a picture

Step 4) Shoot as much content as humanly possible. Enough for updates for years.

Step 5) Throw up a shitty site

Step 6) Actively promote said shitty site to the cesspool of idiots which are in this business to legitimize it all.

Step 7) Set up all the relevant social media accounts and actively promote them

Step 8) Let her post and promote her site and establish a presence in the industry.

Step 9) Take control of all her social media and forum accounts for "business reasons" as a "loving partner" or whatever you come up with.

Step 10) Chloroform her, cut her body up in the bath tub and take the pieces out of the city and throw them into swamps, rivers, lakes and wherever they are unlikely to be found. Don't be afraid to get creative with this step. Play with it. Have fun with it.

Step 11) Continue posting on forums and social media, facebook etc as the deceased wife to allay suspicious. Add friends periodically. Always send birthday wishes etc. Make it real. User her voice.

Step 12) Keep updating content as "something we just shot this weekend. Post it on the forum as something just shot. Get creative and distract people by saying how hot she looks, how she's more beautiful than ever,... anything to maintain the narrative that its new and just happened and she's alive and well.

And thats it.

You can keep this shit up for years.

Seriously.

Years."

Relic · 02-05-2016, 06:09 PM

The movement doesn't care , See sig

dillonaire · 02-05-2016, 06:12 PM

Cool story, bro.

SilentKnight · 02-05-2016, 06:14 PM

Cliff notes?

Is this in the fact or fiction aisle?

clickity click · 02-05-2016, 06:14 PM

Nat is more real than Gary ever was. Long live Nat and let's put GAry in a swamp, river or lake...

dillonaire · 02-05-2016, 06:19 PM

BTW - I am bout to go murder a leg workout.

sandman! · 02-05-2016, 06:25 PM

Rob · 02-05-2016, 06:41 PM

This would only work if she had no friends, family, or life. And if that's the case, skip everything except the "cutting up the body" part, and you're set. No one is going to call in a missing person report. As long as you destroy the head and hands, there's no way to identify the body in case they ever do find it. They'll check missing persons reports, and she'll never have been reported.

***I watch WAYYYY too much The First 48. I have at least 20 of them on DVR as we speak.

dyna mo · 02-05-2016, 06:50 PM

The 12 steps redux

blackmonsters · 02-05-2016, 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob

This would only work if she had no friends, family, or life. And if that's the case, skip everything except the "cutting up the body" part, and you're set. No one is going to call in a missing person report. As long as you destroy the head and hands, there's no way to identify the body in case they ever do find it. They'll check missing persons reports, and she'll never have been reported.

***I watch WAYYYY too much The First 48. I have at least 20 of them on DVR as we speak.

You need to watch more of that first 48 shit if you think a headless/handless body can't be identified.

Rob · 02-05-2016, 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blackmonsters

You need to watch more of that first 48 shit if you think a headless/handless body can't be identified.

If the person doesn't have DNA on file, which a vast majority of people don't, then how are they going to identify the body without prints or dental records?

Rob · 02-05-2016, 07:16 PM

AND even if the person's DNA is on file, if they don't have anything to match it, there isn't a fingerprint matching system like AFIS for DNA. They would have to suspect it's someone, find their DNA or a family member's DNA to match it against.

DVTimes · 02-05-2016, 09:15 PM

Scary stuff

Miguel T · 02-05-2016, 09:53 PM

OMG, that is not cool... lol

The Porn Nerd · 02-05-2016, 11:01 PM

Step 13) Endlessly argue with fellow Brit fuckwits like DVTimes and ask for their banning thinking it will help promote your site, business and reputation. It won't, but it will keep you busy while you wait for those fat sales checks to roll in.

NatalieK · 02-05-2016, 11:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheSquealer

8 years ago, I pulled off an incredible feat that few have gotten away with in this day and age. I murdered my wife.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SilentKnight

Is this in the fact or fiction aisle?

CS met us both 5 yrs ago, I'll let you decide...

Quote:

Originally Posted by clickity click

Nat is more real than Gary ever was. Long live Nat and let's put GAry in a swamp, river or lake...

We work together & play together... drink, sex & rocknroll... We're as real as each other

Quote:

Originally Posted by DVTimes

Scary stuff

fuck off, you're insane

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zuzana Miguel

OMG, that is not cool... lol

no it's not cool but it's a great way for keyboard attention whores to get that little boost

NatalieK · 02-05-2016, 11:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Porn Nerd

Step 13) Endlessly argue with fellow Brit fuckwits like DVTimes and ask for their banning thinking it will help promote your site, business and reputation. It won't, but it will keep you busy while you wait for those fat sales checks to roll in.

or while DV asshat writes a load of bollocks about you online, you get on & film some video to update your site... that's what I've been doing

Sednub997 · 02-06-2016, 02:15 AM

Doesnt count if you havent done

Paul Markham · 02-06-2016, 03:04 AM

gspotproductions

Natalie K (@TheNatalieK) | Twitter

Splash | NatalieK

Splash | NatalieK

Cash in with NatalieKash | NatalieKash

OP

?

?

?

?

CaptainHowdy · 02-06-2016, 06:32 AM

Dude, there are puppies in this board!

ottopottomouse · 02-06-2016, 08:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob

As long as you destroy the head and hands, there's no way to identify the body in case they ever do find it.

Tattoos?

The Porn Nerd · 02-07-2016, 01:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ottopottomouse

Tattoos?

DNA?

muthisdev · 02-07-2016, 01:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob

This would only work if she had no friends, family, or life. And if that's the case, skip everything except the "cutting up the body" part, and you're set. No one is going to call in a missing person report. As long as you destroy the head and hands, there's no way to identify the body in case they ever do find it. They'll check missing persons reports, and she'll never have been reported.

***I watch WAYYYY too much The First 48. I have at least 20 of them on DVR as we speak.

I love how Internet Life matters more than Real Life.
"What? 3 years of updates? Credible alibi!"

MakeMeGrrrrowl · 02-07-2016, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob

This would only work if she had no friends, family, or life. And if that's the case, skip everything except the "cutting up the body" part, and you're set. No one is going to call in a missing person report. As long as you destroy the head and hands, there's no way to identify the body in case they ever do find it. They'll check missing persons reports, and she'll never have been reported.

***I watch WAYYYY too much The First 48. I have at least 20 of them on DVR as we speak.

One of my fav shows.

CaptainHowdy · 02-07-2016, 03:02 PM

I'm all lost ...

TheSquealer · 02-07-2016, 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaptainHowdy

I'm all lost ...

... he's been posting here for a long time as his wife because she's no longer with us and its his way of creating an alibi and allaying suspicion.

it was dumb joke.

Rob · 02-07-2016, 04:23 PM

I never put 2 and 2 together and thought about the arsewithclass part. Derp...

02-05-2016, 06:03 PM	#1
TheSquealer BANNED Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: In Your Head Posts: 25,139	How to Murder Your Wife - By Arsewithclass Sorry for the copy/paste. "8 years ago, I pulled off an incredible feat that few have gotten away with in this day and age. I murdered my wife. Don't believe me? Sounds unlikely? You think i'm too dumb to outwit the police? Haha! Thats the point. When I knew my wife was finally getting sick of my shit, I had to start thinking defensively about my relationship. Having worked hard in life and being the proud owner of a Soviet Lada car and a beautiful one room apartment overlooking a bustling industrial park and having a watch, I knew that if I didn't act to protect the assets which represent everything i am capable of and have done in life, I'd be left with nothing. After some thinking, I realized that being dumb is not a problem when you surround yourself with dumb people. Thats when I realized I could hide in plain site in the Adult Industry as I carried out my plan. What I managed to get away with still blows me away to think about it. Generally speaking, it went like this.. Step 1) Convince my wife she's completely hot Step 2) Convince my wife the world wants to see her Step 3) Convince my wife that i can actually take a picture Step 4) Shoot as much content as humanly possible. Enough for updates for years. Step 5) Throw up a shitty site Step 6) Actively promote said shitty site to the cesspool of idiots which are in this business to legitimize it all. Step 7) Set up all the relevant social media accounts and actively promote them Step 8) Let her post and promote her site and establish a presence in the industry. Step 9) Take control of all her social media and forum accounts for "business reasons" as a "loving partner" or whatever you come up with. Step 10) Chloroform her, cut her body up in the bath tub and take the pieces out of the city and throw them into swamps, rivers, lakes and wherever they are unlikely to be found. Don't be afraid to get creative with this step. Play with it. Have fun with it. Step 11) Continue posting on forums and social media, facebook etc as the deceased wife to allay suspicious. Add friends periodically. Always send birthday wishes etc. Make it real. User her voice. Step 12) Keep updating content as "something we just shot this weekend. Post it on the forum as something just shot. Get creative and distract people by saying how hot she looks, how she's more beautiful than ever,... anything to maintain the narrative that its new and just happened and she's alive and well. And thats it. You can keep this shit up for years. Seriously. Years." __________________ . Yes, fewer illegal immigrants working equates to more job opportunities for American citizens. Rochard

02-05-2016, 06:12 PM	#3
dillonaire Confirmed User Join Date: May 2009 Location: San Francisco Posts: 1,795	Cool story, bro. __________________ . "Deja moo - The feeling you've heard this Bull before." Skype: jeffreydillon Email: [email protected]

02-05-2016, 06:19 PM	#6
dillonaire Confirmed User Join Date: May 2009 Location: San Francisco Posts: 1,795	BTW - I am bout to go murder a leg workout. __________________ . "Deja moo - The feeling you've heard this Bull before." Skype: jeffreydillon Email: [email protected]

02-05-2016, 06:25 PM	#7
sandman! Icq: 14420613 Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: chicago Posts: 15,432	__________________ Need WebHosting ? Email me for some great deals [email protected]

02-05-2016, 09:15 PM	#13
DVTimes xxx Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: UK Posts: 31,544	Scary stuff __________________ The Affiliate Program

02-05-2016, 06:09 PM	#2
Relic So Fucking Banned Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 10,300	The movement doesn't care , See sig

02-05-2016, 06:14 PM	#4
SilentKnight Megan Fox's fluffer Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: shooting pool in Elysium Posts: 24,818	Cliff notes? Is this in the fact or fiction aisle?

02-05-2016, 06:14 PM	#5
clickity click So Fecking Bummed Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2014 Posts: 3,682	Nat is more real than Gary ever was. Long live Nat and let's put GAry in a swamp, river or lake...

02-05-2016, 06:41 PM	#8
Rob I'm a great bowler. Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Right Outside of Normal. Posts: 13,309	This would only work if she had no friends, family, or life. And if that's the case, skip everything except the "cutting up the body" part, and you're set. No one is going to call in a missing person report. As long as you destroy the head and hands, there's no way to identify the body in case they ever do find it. They'll check missing persons reports, and she'll never have been reported. ***I watch WAYYYY too much The First 48. I have at least 20 of them on DVR as we speak.

02-05-2016, 06:50 PM	#9
dyna mo The People's Post Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: invisible 7-11 Posts: 64,588	The 12 steps redux

02-05-2016, 07:16 PM	#12
Rob I'm a great bowler. Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Right Outside of Normal. Posts: 13,309	AND even if the person's DNA is on file, if they don't have anything to match it, there isn't a fingerprint matching system like AFIS for DNA. They would have to suspect it's someone, find their DNA or a family member's DNA to match it against.

02-05-2016, 09:53 PM	#14
Miguel T ♦ Web Developer ♦ Industry Role: Join Date: May 2005 Location: Full-Stack Developer Posts: 12,470	OMG, that is not cool... lol __________________ Full Stack Webdeveloper: HTML5/CSS3, jQuery, AJAX, ElevatedX, NATS, MechBunny, Wordpress

02-05-2016, 11:01 PM	#15
The Porn Nerd Living The Dream Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Inside a Monitor Posts: 19,548	Step 13) Endlessly argue with fellow Brit fuckwits like DVTimes and ask for their banning thinking it will help promote your site, business and reputation. It won't, but it will keep you busy while you wait for those fat sales checks to roll in. __________________ My Affiliate Programs: Porn Nerd Cash \| Porn Showcase \| Aggressive Gold Over 90 paysites to promote! Now on Teams: peabodymedia

02-06-2016, 02:15 AM	#18
Sednub997 Naked in my bathroom Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Europe Posts: 6,129	Doesnt count if you havent done __________________ X10 FANS PLAFORM - 3 IN 1 LIVE CAMS/FANS/MEMBERSHIP CMS CONTENT MANAGEMENT, MONETIZATION AND PUBLISHING PLATFORM 17 YEARS WITH 1000'S OF CLIENTS SCALABLE - ENTERPRISE-READY - MULTI-LANG

02-06-2016, 03:04 AM	#19
Paul Markham Too old to care Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: On the sofa, watching TV or doing my jigsaws. Posts: 52,943	gspotproductions Natalie K (@TheNatalieK) \| Twitter Splash \| NatalieK Splash \| NatalieK Cash in with NatalieKash \| NatalieKash OP ? ? ? ? __________________ Blowout deal. 880 videos, 2,400 image sets, plus many RAW videos. $500. PM me for a deal. Skype Paulmarkham70

02-06-2016, 06:32 AM	#20
CaptainHowdy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Happy in the dark. Posts: 93,248	Dude, there are puppies in this board! __________________ FLASH SALE INSANITY! deal with a 100% Trusted Seller Buy Traffic Spots on a High-Quality Network 1 Year or Lifetime — That’s Right, Until the Internet Explodes!

02-07-2016, 03:02 PM	#25
CaptainHowdy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Happy in the dark. Posts: 93,248	I'm all lost ... __________________ FLASH SALE INSANITY! deal with a 100% Trusted Seller Buy Traffic Spots on a High-Quality Network 1 Year or Lifetime — That’s Right, Until the Internet Explodes!

02-07-2016, 04:23 PM	#27
Rob I'm a great bowler. Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Right Outside of Normal. Posts: 13,309	I never put 2 and 2 together and thought about the arsewithclass part. Derp...