Frankensteining Old Sites Like It’s 2005 - GoFuckYourself.com

mikeet · 09-24-2025, 07:50 PM

While everyone else is chasing shiny new AI bullshit, I’ve been elbow-deep in PHP 5.6 spaghetti keeping my old sites alive.
Dead links? Fallback redirect.
Crap DB entries? Nightly cron with duct tape.
Whole thing looks like it should be on life support, but hey — it still pays for beer. 🍺

Not rebuilding from scratch, just hacking it together until it screams “uncle.”
Feels like running a porn hospice, but the traffic keeps limping in.

Anyone else still patching dinosaurs instead of birthing new ones every month? Or am I just the last caveman swinging a club at 404s?

cerulean · 09-24-2025, 08:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mikeet

While everyone else is chasing shiny new AI bullshit, I’ve been elbow-deep in PHP 5.6 spaghetti keeping my old sites alive.
Dead links? Fallback redirect.
Crap DB entries? Nightly cron with duct tape.
Whole thing looks like it should be on life support, but hey — it still pays for beer. 🍺

Not rebuilding from scratch, just hacking it together until it screams “uncle.”
Feels like running a porn hospice, but the traffic keeps limping in.

Anyone else still patching dinosaurs instead of birthing new ones every month? Or am I just the last caveman swinging a club at 404s?

PHP 5.6 huh? You're just a few years behind! I have had some clients who were running 5.6 and it definitely takes some time getting it up to 8+ (although you gotta hit 8.3 or 8.4 right now to be LTS).

5.6 to 7 is a lot harder than 7 to 8. I've had some very old code that I've been updating year-by-year--originally built on 5.5--and although the deprecation warnings are annoying, it was a lot easier making the transition from 7.4 through 8.3, and now 8.4.

I think a lot of adult sites are running older code and there's a lot of stuff out there in standby mode. I think the new hotness is buying other people's bad sites and then keeping them on life support. Over time you make out with more money!

mikeet · 09-24-2025, 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cerulean

PHP 5.6 huh? You're just a few years behind! I have had some clients who were running 5.6 and it definitely takes some time getting it up to 8+ (although you gotta hit 8.3 or 8.4 right now to be LTS).

5.6 to 7 is a lot harder than 7 to 8. I've had some very old code that I've been updating year-by-year--originally built on 5.5--and although the deprecation warnings are annoying, it was a lot easier making the transition from 7.4 through 8.3, and now 8.4.

I think a lot of adult sites are running older code and there's a lot of stuff out there in standby mode. I think the new hotness is buying other people's bad sites and then keeping them on life support. Over time you make out with more money!

100%. The real play isn’t shiny new builds, it’s grabbing neglected sites cheap and keeping them alive. Margins are better when you buy broken assets, patch them just enough to run, and let the old traffic do the work. Not sexy, but it stacks over time.

WiredGuy · 09-24-2025, 08:35 PM

If it works, don't fix it... some of my best converting sites are 15+ years old

WG

mikeet · 09-24-2025, 10:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WiredGuy

If it works, don't fix it... some of my best converting sites are 15+ years old

WG

Truth — If it’s paying, it’s staying.

Shoplifter · 09-25-2025, 11:01 AM

I have just finished a project to clone some old PHP 5.6 sites using Claude. It was a total success and ditching 5.6 has reduced server load a fair bit.

My highest traffic site ever was using Mechbunny TGP. Shame.

Jwrites · 09-25-2025, 11:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mikeet

While everyone else is chasing shiny new AI bullshit

Honestly, I think AI is great, even with all the hype around it. But the hype itself makes some people avoid anything once they realize it’s AI. And I believe that, sooner or later, people will also get bored of AI-generated content, like AI porn. It can be fun for a while, but there’s something about real women that AI just can’t replicate.

mechanicvirus · 09-25-2025, 11:41 AM

Nah you're not the only one, I went to check an older sponsor yesterday and saw a 2012 FHG date, it was wild!

melonscash.com if you're wondering.

The Porn Nerd · 09-25-2025, 12:21 PM

Some sites are evergreen!!

(Anyone want to sell me their old broken sites hit me up!)

mikeet · Yesterday, 02:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mechanicvirus

Nah you're not the only one, I went to check an older sponsor yesterday and saw a 2012 FHG date, it was wild!

melonscash.com if you're wondering.

Haha yep, those zombie FHGs are still out there doing work. If it’s converting, nobody bothers touching the date.

NatalieK · Yesterday, 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cerulean

PHP 5.6 huh? You're just a few years behind! I have had some clients who were running 5.6 and it definitely takes some time getting it up to 8+ (although you gotta hit 8.3 or 8.4 right now to be LTS).

5.6 to 7 is a lot harder than 7 to 8. I've had some very old code that I've been updating year-by-year--originally built on 5.5--and although the deprecation warnings are annoying, it was a lot easier making the transition from 7.4 through 8.3, and now 8.4.

I think a lot of adult sites are running older code and there's a lot of stuff out there in standby mode. I think the new hotness is buying other people's bad sites and then keeping them on life support. Over time you make out with more money!

we're running on 7.4 and need to change to 8.4 as WP is saying it's recommended...

while I know our blog will run better, is it needed?

I hear it's possible to put the blog out of balance or could have problems arise

Shoplifter · Yesterday, 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NatalieK

we're running on 7.4 and need to change to 8.4 as WP is saying it's recommended...

while I know our blog will run better, is it needed?

I hear it's possible to put the blog out of balance or could have problems arise

If there is no conflict with plugins then it's an easy process to update to 8.4. On a per site basis the speed benefits are minimal, but if you update everything on your server to 8.4 and get rid of the 7.4 FPM altogether you may see some benefits.

I have a dual setup with 8.4 for the new sites and a 7.4 environment so the Roboscripts will still run.

cerulean · Yesterday, 12:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NatalieK

we're running on 7.4 and need to change to 8.4 as WP is saying it's recommended...

while I know our blog will run better, is it needed?

I hear it's possible to put the blog out of balance or could have problems arise

It's absolutely needed. There are a number of security updates between 7.4 and 8.4. WordPress will eventually stop using 7.* because it's too difficult to support so many versions. I would recommend what I do with clients. I setup a development clone, do the updates there, and then replicate the updates on live once I'm sure it's all working.

AmeliaG · Yesterday, 04:24 PM

Relatable

09-24-2025, 07:50 PM	#1
mikeet this & that Industry Role: Join Date: May 2005 Location: Beer City Posts: 5,325	Frankensteining Old Sites Like It’s 2005 While everyone else is chasing shiny new AI bullshit, I’ve been elbow-deep in PHP 5.6 spaghetti keeping my old sites alive. Dead links? Fallback redirect. Crap DB entries? Nightly cron with duct tape. Whole thing looks like it should be on life support, but hey — it still pays for beer. 🍺 Not rebuilding from scratch, just hacking it together until it screams “uncle.” Feels like running a porn hospice, but the traffic keeps limping in. Anyone else still patching dinosaurs instead of birthing new ones every month? Or am I just the last caveman swinging a club at 404s?

09-24-2025, 08:35 PM	#4
WiredGuy Pounding Googlebot Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 34,482	If it works, don't fix it... some of my best converting sites are 15+ years old WG __________________ I play with Google.

09-25-2025, 12:21 PM	#9
The Porn Nerd Living The Dream Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Inside a Monitor Posts: 19,611	Some sites are evergreen!! (Anyone want to sell me their old broken sites hit me up!) __________________ My Affiliate Programs: Porn Nerd Cash \| Porn Showcase \| Aggressive Gold Over 90 paysites to promote! Now on Teams: peabodymedia

Yesterday, 04:24 PM	#14
AmeliaG Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 10,564	Relatable __________________ GFY Hall of Famer AltStar Hall of Famer Blue Blood's SpookyCash.com Babe photography portfolio

09-25-2025, 11:01 AM	#6
Shoplifter Richest man in Babylon Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Posts: 10,002 Posts: 5,724	I have just finished a project to clone some old PHP 5.6 sites using Claude. It was a total success and ditching 5.6 has reduced server load a fair bit. My highest traffic site ever was using Mechbunny TGP. Shame.

09-25-2025, 11:41 AM	#8
mechanicvirus Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Southern California Posts: 3,883	Nah you're not the only one, I went to check an older sponsor yesterday and saw a 2012 FHG date, it was wild! melonscash.com if you're wondering.