Craigslist casual encounters, does your fuckeduppedness know no bounds?? - GoFuckYourself.com

PostWhore · 12-03-2008, 11:43 AM

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/cas/941491075.html

I am a lonely, beautiful woman living alone with my cat, Mrs. Norris. I work as a janitor. You will refer to me as Filch.

I need at least 5 men. You will arrive at my apartment. There will be a picture of a fat lady on the door, and you will tell her the pre-arranged password. You will be dressed based on your character. The characters I need are listed below.

Harry Potter: You must be barely legal, and arrive with your firebolt ready for the best game of quidditch you'll ever play.

Ron Weasley: You absolutely must have red hair and freckles. You must show up with firewhiskey.

Draco Malfoy: Blonde. Be able to cry on demand.

Remus Lupin: You will alternate between wolf and man. Howl, baby, howl!

Albus Dumbledore: You must be a proud gay man ready to penetrate every other man present You must have a beard and wear a wizard's hat and half-moon spectacles.

As you arrive, I shall chain you to the walls of my apartment, which I will have converted into a dungeon. Mrs. Norris shall excite you all into the most aroused state you've ever experienced (I've trained her well, so don't worry--if she fails to tickle your pickle, though, I've got a few tricks up my sleeve--engorgio, anyone?).

After I punish you all for being out after curfew, and take a few house points, Harry will escape, grab me around the waist, and begin sodomizing me. With each stroke, he will yell out one of the wrongs I have committed against him (example: "and THIS is for helping Umbridge"). After we've both come harder than Hagrid in heat, Ron and Draco will escape.

Ron will beat Draco with a broomstick I'll provide. Then, he will penetrate the Slytherin with the Cleansweep, who will, at this point, be crying about how his dad's in Azkaban.

Lupin will escape as he "transforms" into a wolf. He forgot his wolfsbane potion tonight! He will have his way with whatever his wolfy instincts demand!

I will then pleasure Ron. With my dirty squib mouth.

Finally, Dumbledore will escape and exact his right as Headmaster of Hogwarts.

Then, firewhiskey all around!

Who knows what else the night will bring...

Fletch XXX · 12-03-2008, 11:51 AM

oh the things guys on computers come up with and do

todhunter · 12-03-2008, 11:58 AM

You call that a casual encounter? What does a complicated one look like?

It's more tightly plotted than an episode of Seinfeld.

--t

Iron Fist · 12-03-2008, 12:08 PM

Sad.... only trumped by pathetic because it's entirely fictional.

Vixenator · 12-03-2008, 12:17 PM

oh dear, J. K. Rowling got drunk and used the Internet again...

dig420 · 12-03-2008, 12:22 PM

I wanna hire this guy to write some newsletters

alexchechs · 12-03-2008, 12:24 PM

Great scenario... a very creative sick mind... bet he writes for cable

12-03-2008, 11:43 AM	#1
PostWhore Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 4,720	Craigslist casual encounters, does your fuckeduppedness know no bounds?? http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/cas/941491075.html I am a lonely, beautiful woman living alone with my cat, Mrs. Norris. I work as a janitor. You will refer to me as Filch. I need at least 5 men. You will arrive at my apartment. There will be a picture of a fat lady on the door, and you will tell her the pre-arranged password. You will be dressed based on your character. The characters I need are listed below. Harry Potter: You must be barely legal, and arrive with your firebolt ready for the best game of quidditch you'll ever play. Ron Weasley: You absolutely must have red hair and freckles. You must show up with firewhiskey. Draco Malfoy: Blonde. Be able to cry on demand. Remus Lupin: You will alternate between wolf and man. Howl, baby, howl! Albus Dumbledore: You must be a proud gay man ready to penetrate every other man present You must have a beard and wear a wizard's hat and half-moon spectacles. As you arrive, I shall chain you to the walls of my apartment, which I will have converted into a dungeon. Mrs. Norris shall excite you all into the most aroused state you've ever experienced (I've trained her well, so don't worry--if she fails to tickle your pickle, though, I've got a few tricks up my sleeve--engorgio, anyone?). After I punish you all for being out after curfew, and take a few house points, Harry will escape, grab me around the waist, and begin sodomizing me. With each stroke, he will yell out one of the wrongs I have committed against him (example: "and THIS is for helping Umbridge"). After we've both come harder than Hagrid in heat, Ron and Draco will escape. Ron will beat Draco with a broomstick I'll provide. Then, he will penetrate the Slytherin with the Cleansweep, who will, at this point, be crying about how his dad's in Azkaban. Lupin will escape as he "transforms" into a wolf. He forgot his wolfsbane potion tonight! He will have his way with whatever his wolfy instincts demand! I will then pleasure Ron. With my dirty squib mouth. Finally, Dumbledore will escape and exact his right as Headmaster of Hogwarts. Then, firewhiskey all around! Who knows what else the night will bring... __________________ Ask me how to monetize with adult traffic!

12-03-2008, 11:51 AM	#2
Fletch XXX GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!! Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: that 504 Posts: 60,840	oh the things guys on computers come up with and do __________________ Want an Android App for your tube, membership, or free site? Need banners or promo material? Hit us up (ICQ Fletch: 148841377) or email me fletchxxx at gmail.com - recent work - About me

12-03-2008, 11:58 AM	#3
todhunter Confirmed User Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 152	You call that a casual encounter? What does a complicated one look like? It's more tightly plotted than an episode of Seinfeld. --t Last edited by todhunter; 12-03-2008 at 12:00 PM..

12-03-2008, 12:08 PM	#4
Iron Fist Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 23,400	Sad.... only trumped by pathetic because it's entirely fictional. __________________ i like waffles

12-03-2008, 12:17 PM	#5
Vixenator Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: teh Interwebs Posts: 158	oh dear, J. K. Rowling got drunk and used the Internet again... __________________ Watch this space...

12-03-2008, 12:22 PM	#6
dig420 Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 9,240	I wanna hire this guy to write some newsletters

12-03-2008, 12:24 PM	#7
alexchechs Confirmed User Join Date: May 2008 Location: BROOKLYN!!! Posts: 3,474	Great scenario... a very creative sick mind... bet he writes for cable __________________ Alex Chechs http://thefawnconspiracy.com