Best Craigslist Ad Ever ! ! ! - GoFuckYourself.com

Penrod · 05-13-2009, 11:58 AM

http://tampa.craigslist.org/hil/bar/1168935282.html

My girlfriend and I broke up, and I had planned to surprise her with a 7-night Caribbean cruise departing on Sunday, June 21 (returning Sunday, June 28), leaving from Port of Tampa (this is a roundtrip cruise), on the Carnival Legend ship (the 4 1/2 stars one, not the crappy ship.) Ports of call: Tampa, Florida; Grand Cayman, Cayman Islands; Cozumel, Mexico; Belize City, Belize; Roatan, Honduras; Tampa, Florida.

I booked their top suite, on the Empress deck; per the brochure:
Suite with large private balcony
Square footage: 300 sq ft
Balcony square footage: 115 sq ft
Occupancy: Up to 2 guests (some sleep up to 4)
Amenities: Private balcony; floor-to-ceiling glass doors opening to balcony; separate dressing, sleeping, and sitting areas; sofa; two twin beds that convert to a king-size bed; private bathroom with double sinks, whirlpool tub, and shower; separate vanity area; hair dryer; refrigerator; minibar; TV with first-run movies; telephone; and wall safe

All meals are included, all you need is spending money for the ports of call. This cost me just over $4,800 (with tax) for two people, Cabin number: 6215. No refunds, so I'm stuck.

I was planning to ask her to marry me on this cruise. But we broke up, and she's back with her ex. I thought about just giving the cruise to them (karma and all), then said "f*ck it - screw her, I should get something out of this, right?" I don't really want to to go on the cruise - I mean, after all, the entire time it's going to suck because I'll be thinking about her.

So here's the deal. I'm willing to TRADE this, and all I want in return is a really hot woman who's willing to spend an evening with me. You know what I mean. (wink wink) I need something to help me get over her, and what better way to do it, right? My ex was drop-dead gorgeous. I mean, when she walked in a room, every guy's head turned. I figure for this cruise, there has to be at least ONE (maybe two?) really hot woman who's willing to help me get over her, right? A good grudge-f*ck, no names needed even. Just something to get me past the pain, and help me get over her.

All I ask is that she be between the ages of 18 and 25(ish), give or take a few years - I'll go older (as in mid-30s) if you have a REALLY smokin' body - and I don't care if you have a boyfriend, husband, or whatever. In fact, if you have a girlfriend that wants to go, I'd totally take two in trade (every man's fantasy, right?) Like every man, I love big boobs, a great ass, and high heels. Throw in schoolgirl outfit, and I'm in heaven. If you're submissive, we'll get along great.

About me: Mid-30. Not fat, just average. Been told I'm cute, even sexy. Don't really have any problems meeting women, but just have my heart broken, and can't bring myself to go hit the bars, because I'll probably run into her, and that would just ruin everything. It's tough moving on, especially when I thought she was "the one", but I was totally wrong.

Here's your chance to get an all-expense paid top-of-the-line cruise, and all you have to do is help me get over her. Seriously. Interested? Send some recent photos (doesn't have to be nude, but hey, that can't hurt, right?), and let's figure this out. Hey, if we hit it off, maybe we can go together. If not, bon voyage!

AssPirate · 05-13-2009, 12:03 PM

Wow, this sounds like the making of a John Cusack movie.

Penrod · 05-13-2009, 12:10 PM

Actually would probably make a good script

LisaWP · 05-13-2009, 12:12 PM

HAHAHAHA, sounds like a great way to get a hot date who will bone ya ....or lots of naked pix.

fuzzylogic · 05-13-2009, 12:17 PM

dumb

there will be plenty of girls on the cruise (single or not) willing to upgrade.

more over, he has a few weeks to find a replacement. go to a club, spot a hot girl and offer them this dream date. for some girls, this would be a dream come true. a 7 day cruise with a stranger has the potential for a lifetime memory or partner.

Barefootsies · 05-13-2009, 12:21 PM

Good stuff.

Sig.

O MARINA · 05-13-2009, 12:36 PM

domain seller · 05-13-2009, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by asspirate

wow, this sounds like the making of a john cusack movie.

lolz!!!!!

Yen_HerbalRevenue · 05-13-2009, 02:01 PM

ha ha he prob doesn't even have cruise tickets or smoking ex, Just wants tons of naked pictures.

96ukssob · 05-13-2009, 02:04 PM

hahahaha what an idiot. sounds like one of my friends who buys his gf's everything but creeps them out with his wierdo-ness behavior and they go back to their ex

i would just put the ad on CL to invite some hot chick... "Free 7 day cruise, just need to put out and some anal"

woj · 05-13-2009, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yen_HerbalRevenue

ha ha he prob doesn't even have cruise tickets or smoking ex, Just wants tons of naked pictures.

yea, no kidding, no one is stupid enough to piss away $5k worth of tickets to get laid...

SBJ · 05-13-2009, 02:47 PM

haha gotta love the creativity of this one.. true or not I give the guy a A+ for trying

Big Red Machine · 05-13-2009, 02:50 PM

Its only good if it worked...email the tool and ask him

seeandsee · 05-13-2009, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Penrod

Actually would probably make a good script

Pleasurepays · 05-13-2009, 03:30 PM

getting arrested and having your pic published in tampa papers for soliciting for prostitution is hardly a good "revenge"

qxm · 05-13-2009, 03:35 PM

This shit is soon to become a Hollywood Movie ..lol .... romantic drama y suppose ...

bDok · 05-13-2009, 06:17 PM

some say that cruise isn't really book and there was no ex-gf. If a girl agrees to the deal the cruise gets purchased with insurance. hehe

SilentKnight · 05-13-2009, 06:59 PM

Alternate ending

(warning - spoiler alert)

Gorgeous chick answers this tool's ad - goes on cruise with him. Gets seasick on Day Two. While shining the barber pole she's overcome by sudden seasickness and blows projectile vomit all over his rod.

Chick mysteriously vanishes overboard in the middle of the night.

brassmonkey · 05-13-2009, 07:16 PM

scams got to love them dude sounds crazy

420 · 05-13-2009, 07:28 PM

http://i40.tinypic.com/nduf5c.png

05-13-2009, 11:58 AM	#1
Penrod Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 3,578	Best Craigslist Ad Ever ! ! ! http://tampa.craigslist.org/hil/bar/1168935282.html My girlfriend and I broke up, and I had planned to surprise her with a 7-night Caribbean cruise departing on Sunday, June 21 (returning Sunday, June 28), leaving from Port of Tampa (this is a roundtrip cruise), on the Carnival Legend ship (the 4 1/2 stars one, not the crappy ship.) Ports of call: Tampa, Florida; Grand Cayman, Cayman Islands; Cozumel, Mexico; Belize City, Belize; Roatan, Honduras; Tampa, Florida. I booked their top suite, on the Empress deck; per the brochure: Suite with large private balcony Square footage: 300 sq ft Balcony square footage: 115 sq ft Occupancy: Up to 2 guests (some sleep up to 4) Amenities: Private balcony; floor-to-ceiling glass doors opening to balcony; separate dressing, sleeping, and sitting areas; sofa; two twin beds that convert to a king-size bed; private bathroom with double sinks, whirlpool tub, and shower; separate vanity area; hair dryer; refrigerator; minibar; TV with first-run movies; telephone; and wall safe All meals are included, all you need is spending money for the ports of call. This cost me just over $4,800 (with tax) for two people, Cabin number: 6215. No refunds, so I'm stuck. I was planning to ask her to marry me on this cruise. But we broke up, and she's back with her ex. I thought about just giving the cruise to them (karma and all), then said "fck it - screw her, I should get something out of this, right?" I don't really want to to go on the cruise - I mean, after all, the entire time it's going to suck because I'll be thinking about her. So here's the deal. I'm willing to TRADE this, and all I want in return is a really hot woman who's willing to spend an evening with me. You know what I mean. (wink wink) I need something to help me get over her, and what better way to do it, right? My ex was drop-dead gorgeous. I mean, when she walked in a room, every guy's head turned. I figure for this cruise, there has to be at least ONE (maybe two?) really hot woman who's willing to help me get over her, right? A good grudge-fck, no names needed even. Just something to get me past the pain, and help me get over her. All I ask is that she be between the ages of 18 and 25(ish), give or take a few years - I'll go older (as in mid-30s) if you have a REALLY smokin' body - and I don't care if you have a boyfriend, husband, or whatever. In fact, if you have a girlfriend that wants to go, I'd totally take two in trade (every man's fantasy, right?) Like every man, I love big boobs, a great ass, and high heels. Throw in schoolgirl outfit, and I'm in heaven. If you're submissive, we'll get along great. About me: Mid-30. Not fat, just average. Been told I'm cute, even sexy. Don't really have any problems meeting women, but just have my heart broken, and can't bring myself to go hit the bars, because I'll probably run into her, and that would just ruin everything. It's tough moving on, especially when I thought she was "the one", but I was totally wrong. Here's your chance to get an all-expense paid top-of-the-line cruise, and all you have to do is help me get over her. Seriously. Interested? Send some recent photos (doesn't have to be nude, but hey, that can't hurt, right?), and let's figure this out. Hey, if we hit it off, maybe we can go together. If not, bon voyage!

05-13-2009, 12:03 PM	#2
AssPirate Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 2,135	Wow, this sounds like the making of a John Cusack movie. __________________

05-13-2009, 12:12 PM	#4
LisaWP Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 202	HAHAHAHA, sounds like a great way to get a hot date who will bone ya ....or lots of naked pix. __________________ Lisa Webmaster Paradise / ICQ# 18907001 / [email protected] See Me on AdultWhosWho.com!

05-13-2009, 12:21 PM	#6
Barefootsies Choice is an Illusion Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Land of Obama Posts: 42,635	Good stuff. Sig. __________________ Should You Email Your Members? Link1 \| Link2 \| Link3 Enough Said. "Would you rather live like a king for a year or like a prince forever?"

05-13-2009, 02:01 PM	#9
Yen_HerbalRevenue Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 816	ha ha he prob doesn't even have cruise tickets or smoking ex, Just wants tons of naked pictures. __________________ ICQ: 568663106 AIM: YenHerbalRevenue

05-13-2009, 12:10 PM	#3
Penrod Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 3,578	Actually would probably make a good script

05-13-2009, 12:17 PM	#5
fuzzylogic Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: buffalo, las vegas. icq: 285808879 Posts: 4,796	dumb there will be plenty of girls on the cruise (single or not) willing to upgrade. more over, he has a few weeks to find a replacement. go to a club, spot a hot girl and offer them this dream date. for some girls, this would be a dream come true. a 7 day cruise with a stranger has the potential for a lifetime memory or partner.

05-13-2009, 12:36 PM	#7
O MARINA I'm clockin' ya, Versace shade watchin' ya Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: internet Posts: 13,795

05-13-2009, 02:04 PM	#10
96ukssob So Fucking Banananananas Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: If I was in your ass you'd know it Posts: 12,991	hahahaha what an idiot. sounds like one of my friends who buys his gf's everything but creeps them out with his wierdo-ness behavior and they go back to their ex i would just put the ad on CL to invite some hot chick... "Free 7 day cruise, just need to put out and some anal" __________________ Email: Clicky on Me

05-13-2009, 02:47 PM	#12
SBJ So Fucking Fabulous Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Indiana Posts: 11,374	haha gotta love the creativity of this one.. true or not I give the guy a A+ for trying __________________ Chaturbate - Make tons of money from Cams! *Name Silo - Domains under $9 and free ID protect*

05-13-2009, 02:50 PM	#13
Big Red Machine Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: XXXBigRed@Twitter Posts: 9,586	Its only good if it worked...email the tool and ask him __________________ ICQ:475437214

05-13-2009, 03:30 PM	#15
Pleasurepays BANNED - SUPPORTING TUBES Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: I live in a pile of boogers Posts: 11,913	getting arrested and having your pic published in tampa papers for soliciting for prostitution is hardly a good "revenge"

05-13-2009, 03:35 PM	#16
qxm Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: NoHo Posts: 5,970	This shit is soon to become a Hollywood Movie ..lol .... romantic drama y suppose ... __________________ ICQ: 266990876

05-13-2009, 06:17 PM	#17
bDok Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: SD/OC/LA Posts: 1,917	some say that cruise isn't really book and there was no ex-gf. If a girl agrees to the deal the cruise gets purchased with insurance. hehe __________________ =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Warriors come out to plaAAaayyy! =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

05-13-2009, 06:59 PM	#18
SilentKnight Megan Fox's fluffer Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: shooting pool in Elysium Posts: 24,818	Alternate ending (warning - spoiler alert) Gorgeous chick answers this tool's ad - goes on cruise with him. Gets seasick on Day Two. While shining the barber pole she's overcome by sudden seasickness and blows projectile vomit all over his rod. Chick mysteriously vanishes overboard in the middle of the night.

05-13-2009, 07:16 PM	#19
brassmonkey Pay It Forward Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Yo Mama House Posts: 77,102	scams got to love them dude sounds crazy __________________ TRUMP 2025 KEKAW!!! - The Laken Riley Act Is Law! DACA ENDED - SUPPORT AZ HCR 2060 52R - email: brassballz-at-techie.com

05-13-2009, 07:28 PM	#20
420 cuck Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 11,571	http://i40.tinypic.com/nduf5c.png __________________ <!--BEGIN SIMUTRONICS PLAY BUTTON CODE --> <p align="center"> <a href="http://buddy.play.net/dr?TMOREAU1"> <img src="drplay.gif" width="128" height="64" alt="Play DragonRealms!"></a></p> <!--END SIMUTRONICS PLAY BUTTON CODE -->