2500th Post - Be the 25th Thread Poster and WIN $25.00!

[amateurcanada]

For fun i'll paypal $25.00 right now to the 25th message on this replying to my thread.

Legitimate posts, not flooders or anyone I deem a scammer :D

Good luck boys, and make sure you join my program :D 10 years at it.

[nexxus]

Congratulations on the 2500 bud.

[Chosen]

Congrats

[Tamashi]

Congrats! Chicken for dinner? :P

[amateurcanada]

Chicken is delicious lol. ty

[d-null]

congrats on the 2.5k!

[Roby]

congart to you

[Kylee Sands]

If I post 17 consecutive times would that make me a spammer?

Congratulations!

[amateurcanada]

Yes Kylee, but you can creatively respond and you never know! hehe.

[cjhmdm]

I have a mainstream site about making money online, yet I haven't made a penny from it. I thought I did everything right when I stole a bunch of copyrighted ebooks that were always on the top of google searches, lowered the "retail" price by 75%, added more adsense code spots than google allows, followed by Adbright spots where they don't belong, and bought $2,000 in Asian porn traffic. But not a single sale

I still can't figure out where I went wrong.

[cjhmdm]

I have another blog type site, which on one hand could be considered mainstream due to the tourist info this site provides; and on the other be considered and adult site due to all the free pics and videos. Now, ofc these videos are all stolen as well since that seems to be the way to go these days; and it sure does save me money!

The strange thing about this site is I make around $800/month in cam ads from my visitors, yet I can't get them to sign up for a $19.95/year paid subscription

Can't figure that one out either.

[cjhmdm]

I also run an adult site who's owner has been on vacation for the last 2 years damn near, and does nothing but suck the business account dry to pay for his booze and pussy (since he's too fugly to get a girl on his own). I've been warning this guy for... 2 years... that if he doesn't invest any money at all into his business it will fail. His response was "I AM investing money into the business, I'm paying you aren't I?".

Sad part is, he thinks I'm going to accept a reduced fee because he didn't heed my warnings... 2 years ago. What a fool.

[cjhmdm]

I have another client who is nearing 55 years old and is still more naive than a 2 year old when it comes to anything except eating. This guy can tell me the best places to eat in nearly any city in the US, break down their menu with detailed info and prices off the top of his head; but he can't for the life of him understand why his dead website remains dead. I tried to explain that he should make posts about things he has knowledge in, but his response is "I don't know much of anything".

With this particular guy I'm waiting to see how long it takes for him to come up with the bright idea of writing about food all on his own, even though I've indirectly told him several times already.

[cjhmdm]

By the way, before I get banned I should note that I don't actually use stolen content, and I detest anyone who does. In case this isn't enough to convince you, refer to the thread "Content theft preventative measures" in the "Content theft and you!" section.

[cjhmdm]

Back to my stories...

I know another guy who travels to the Philippines nearly once a month. Every time he returns home he's always coming of some new itch, or a burning sensation in certain places, or completely unsual pain in places I didn't know existed. When asked why he doesn't go into details, just goes on to say "What do you think goes on in the Philippines?!?!".

All I can do with this guy is lower my head and try to think that I really should have printed that big bear facepalm picture.

[cjhmdm]

I should also tell you about this guy who runs a bagel shop and writes shitty books for a living. This guy thinks he's the Dean Koontz of tourism novels and no matter how badly each and every one of his books are rated by critics, he refuses to believe that he should just focus on his bagel shop, or pursue other endeavours as writing just isn't a talent he possesses.

Oddly enough, he "fired" me (his words, not mine) because I was unable to seel more than 5 copies of his book. Too bad I could find more blind guys around town 'cause they're the only one's who'd buy that crap anyway.

[cjhmdm]

I also want to talk about a guy who one of my clients used for a stick man a few years ago. This guy is 27 or so and in pretty good shape. He gets a lot of attention from the local whores as he likes to flaunt money that isn't his. Needless to say, he shouldn't have had any problems performing... but no matter what was tried, this guy couldn't keep it up for more than 5 minutes at a time. He kept using the excusethat he's just camera shy...

Needless to say we dropped him quicker'n shit, which upset hi quite a bit, but oh well. A month or 2 later we happened to run into him at some store that I can't remember the name of, with 2 shemales in tow. Now, I'm not against gay people, nor do I judge or look at them any differently than I do straight people; same with transgenders. What I cannot, for the life of me, figure out is WHY he volunteered to do videos for a straight porn site when he knows full well he's gay.

[cjhmdm]

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you about another client I had... This guy is a part owner of one of the biggest hotels in our town and considers himself very smart, which he is when it come to most things...

Moving on, the content this guy wanted was pretty straight forward; 5 2 minute promotional videos for his hotel. Piece of cake for me. He gave me the original video sources no problem, gave me another dvd which was just a copy of the video sources, and another blank dvd. I asked him what the blank dvd was for and he replied "it has the sound track I wants to use on it"...

[cjhmdm]

About a year ago I took on a client who was, by far, the king of micromanagement. Unfortunately for me, he was also the king of indecisiveness. For 2 weeks straight he spammed me non stop (I'm talking 30 minute intervals here) asking if his 3 page site is done yet. Normally, I could have knocked it out in about 3 hours or so, but every time I presented him with what he asked for, he changed his mind and wanted something completely different. 12 completely redesigned sites later he told me he was going to find someone else who could produce what he wanted. The only thing I could say was "No problem, but take some time and actually decide on what it is you want before you go wasting another designers time and money". The only upside to this story is I had 12 unique templates that I was able to sell off and make back some of what I lost due to the time wasted.

[cjhmdm]

Oh, this one should be interesting...

I am a server admin by trade, and one client I have has been using host x for roughly 3 years with no problems whatsoever. One day, back in august, my clients and I decided it was a good time to upgrade their server. Everything went smoothly for the first week. On August 21st this new server had an HDD failure. Ok, no problem. I submitted a ticket, they replaced it, all was well... for 22 hours. 22 hours later, another HDD failure. Submit ticket, drive is replaced, server back online. A day later, another HDD failure. Submit ticket, explain my findings in my logs, give possible solutions to solve the problem for good... HDD replaced, was told all other hardware is functioning properly.

Fast forward to 2 weeks later... we averaged 1 HDD replacement per day, and the host kept trying to blame my software configurations. How a standard web server setup can kill an HDD overnight when the I/O never maxed out is beyond me.

I'd finally had enough by this point so informed my clients they're better off looking for a new server with a new service provider. I'm told my facial expression was very similar to a deer caught in headlights when my client asked me why I couldn't just go there (there being another country) and fix the server myself...

[cjhmdm]

I first got into the adult business 5 or 6 years ago now. I'm still what most "veterans" would consider a "newbie", I don't quite understand this concept but I'm not the type to make mountains out of mole hills so I just go with the flow.

Anyway, I ended up running into this guy at a conference one year who swore he was like the epitome of adult gurus and tried, endlessly, to give me his advice. I didn't really pay attention to most of what he was saying as I'd heard all the same shit before from so many self proclaimed gurus in this business and have actively learned how to make it seem like I'm paying attention when I'm really thinking about something completely different.

What fucked me up with this guy was, at the end of his long ass rambling session, he looked me in the eyes and said he'd give me 10 grand if I could repeat his 6 major points. I kinda felt really stupid by now as I thought I'd just ignored my way out of 10 grand... but I pretty much instinctively went with the only 6 I knew of when it came to making a point...

"Umm, proper planning prevents piss poor performance?" I asked, completely dumbfounded and so sure I was way off.

"Here's your check".

[cjhmdm]

I'd like to take a little break from story telling and explain the whole magic button theory.

First and foremost, there is no such thing as a magic button.

No matter how hard you try, there is no magic button.
No matter how hard you wish for it, there is no magic button.
No matter how upset you get, there is no magic button.
No matter how much you argue about it, there is no magic button.
No matter how many times you ask the same question, there is no magic button.
No matter how many times you try to reword an impossible request, there is no magic button.

But, if it makes you feel any better, there is a magic spoon that you can make bend just by looking at it...

[cjhmdm]

Ok, back to it...

I'd like to make another point real quick about content theft.
First and foremost, I do not condone it whatsoever.
I also do not steal content for my own private use, nor for the use of making money off someone else's work.
I pretty much look at content thieves as the scum of the earth who should die and rot in stolen nails for eternity.

Which is why I started working on the stuff I am, which will help prevent content theft, or at least reduce it a lot. More details on this can be found in the thread "Content theft preventative measures" under the forum here on gfy called "Content theft and you!"

Have a good day.

[cjhmdm]

This concludes my story telling. I hope you all enjoyed my fictionally non fiction stories.

[cjhmdm]

I'll leave the 25th reply to someone else ;)

[thumbsdepot]

did I win

[LoveSandra]

Congrats

[Tamashi]

First class spam cjhmdm
Ubot, I suppose?

[ezkim0x]

well damnit.

[cjhmdm]

Originally Posted by Tamashi

First class spam cjhmdm
Ubot, I suppose?

What's a ubot?

All those posts are hand written...

[Cyber Fucker]

Originally Posted by amateurcanada

For fun i'll paypal $25.00 right now to the 25th message on this replying to my thread.

Legitimate posts, not flooders or anyone I deem a scammer :D

Good luck boys, and make sure you join my program :D 10 years at it.

congrats man

[Tamashi]

Originally Posted by cjhmdm

What's a ubot?

All those posts are hand written...

Whether or not they're handwritten doesn't really matter in this case. The purpose of your posts were pretty clear. You know, GFY allows you to write more than 2 lines in a single post. Infact, your whole irrelevant story could have perfectly fitted in a single post.

[cjhmdm]

Originally Posted by Tamashi

Whether or not they're handwritten doesn't really matter in this case. The purpose of your posts were pretty clear. You know, GFY allows you to write more than 2 lines in a single post. Infact, your whole irrelevant story could have perfectly fitted in a single post.

Are you the post police now?

[Kelli58]

I thought these kind of contests were against GFY rules anyway?

[cjhmdm]

Originally Posted by Kelli58

I thought these kind of contests were against GFY rules anyway?

I think so too, which is why I left the 25th reply to someone else ;)

I just wanted to tell some stories.

[amateurcanada]

Congrats to the winner, send me an email to [email protected] and we will grant your prize.

You guys are funny :P Thanks for fun! hehe.

[Tamashi]

Originally Posted by cjhmdm

I think so too, which is why I left the 25th reply to someone else ;)

I just wanted to tell some stories.

Send all your stories to [email protected]
Made the email a second ago, just for you. Afterall you love telling stories, don't you

[cjhmdm]

Originally Posted by Tamashi

Send all your stories to [email protected]
Made the email a second ago, just for you. Afterall you love telling stories, don't you

You're starting to exhibit stalker like behaviour. I suggest you seek professional help before this gets out of control.

[rayadp05]

Oopps....guess I'm a little late.

[amateurcanada]

You guys are insane lol.

[d-null]

congrats to cjh on the big win

[brassmonkey]

$25 hahahaha!!