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Discuss what's fucking going on, and which programs are best and worst. One-time "program" announcements from "established" webmasters are allowed. |
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#1 |
Haters & Trolls SUCK!
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100 Tips from a Professional Photographer :::
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#2 |
Too lazy to set a custom title
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Does he mention anything about photoshopping your models till they look completely fake?
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#3 |
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: England
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Nice...
Something for me to read later
![]() Here's hoping I can then remember some of them ![]()
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#4 |
TRUEAMATEURMODELS.COM
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Nice advice there.
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#5 |
I am Amazing Content!
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Posts: 39,822
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some good ones, i like this:
83. Don't look suspicious when taking photos- blend in with the environment. i wonder how this applies to porn ![]()
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#6 |
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 4,204
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86. Never delete any of your photos.
My wife always bitches at me. "Why do you save everything you shoot? Delete the ones you don't use." Fuck her. ![]() |
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#7 |
Confirmed User
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Location: Seoul, Korea
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Haha
15. Don't take your DSLR to parties. Seems like every party has at least one tool who's walking around with a ridiculously huge camera |
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#8 |
Liv Benson to You, Bitch
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Posts: 6,060
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Useless without comments from Paul Markham.
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#9 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 3,564
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33. Critique the works of others.
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#10 |
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#11 |
She is ugly, bad luck.
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101. Photos were better in the 80s.
102. You're all on ignore but I still read everything LOL - Interesting list. Does seem to be an abundance of expensively equipped takers of crappy pictures now. I often think the best photos are spur of the moment capturing an event or something unusual rather than prepared.
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↑ see post ↑ 13101 |
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#12 |
Coupon Guru
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nice list, thanks Dean
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Webmaster Coupons Coupons and discounts for hosting, domains, SSL Certs, and more! AmeriNOC Coupons | Certified Hosting Coupons | Hosting Coupons | Domain Name Coupons ![]() |
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#13 |
Too lazy to wipe my ass
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48. Take straight photos.
Thats a bit homophobic, dont yah think? |
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#14 | |
FUBAR the ORIGINATOR
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Quote:
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#15 | |
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Quote:
Right now, and just for the sake of having a new hobby or whatever, I'm on the hunt for either a Canon AE-1 or Nikon F2. Both are highly regarded SLRs from the 70s which can still be purchased and serviced at a reasonable price. My thinking is that costs associated with developing film will cause me to be more careful and more selective in taking each shot and that in having to deal with what will probably be more than a few annoying nuances which tend to be absent whilst using a modern DSLR will give me a better, more comprehensive understanding of how things work.
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#16 |
So fucking bland
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Location: England
Posts: 8,005
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what does he mean by no. 48?
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#17 |
Banned by fatfoo
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These tips are interesting. There is a lot of importance on editing the photos. They try to get the right distance, angle, contrast, brightness, shadows, lighting, daylight and other effects.
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#18 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2008
Location: England
Posts: 2,155
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Hmmm...
My Personal Favourite...
94. Never take photos on an empty stomach
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#19 | |
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Location: UK
Posts: 3,564
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Quote:
I agree better less but better, to work harder at fewer images, but you could just try small memory cards. ![]() |
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#20 |
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Location: Alberta
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21. Ditch the neck strap and get a handstrap.
If all you do is shoot indoors while sitting on your ass, then yes, this point makes sense. |
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#21 |
www.scarlettcontent.net
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96. Never hoard your photographic insight- share it with the world.
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#22 |
www.scarlettcontent.net
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71. You don't need to fly to Paris to get good photos; the best photo opportunities are in your backyard.
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#23 |
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Sorry, couldn't resist. I accidentally answered a few seriously, the rest are taking the piss, cause it was easy and cheap to do so.
1. Just because someone has an expensive camera doesn't mean that they're a good photographer. - It also doesn't mean they're a bad one. What it means for sure is that they have more money than you, which makes them better at SOMETHING than you. 2. Always shoot in RAW. Always. - Stop being a nerd. 3. Prime lenses help you learn to be a better photographer. - Meh. Try paying attention, it works just as well. 4. Photo editing is an art in itself. - Yes, but it's not photography. Plenty of great shooters never set foot in a darkroom. 5. The rule of thirds works 99% of the time. - Fibonacci and Golden Section for dummies. Yawn. 6. Macro photography isn't for everybody. - Yeah, not everyone is dull. 7. UV filters work just as well as lens caps. - Again, with nerdy. 8. Go outside & shoot photos rather than spending hours a day on photography forums. - Pot, meet kettle. 9. Capture the beauty in the mundane and you have a winning photograph. - Or maybe a dull one. 10. Film isn't better than digital. - Agreed. 11. Digital isn't better than film. - Wrong. 12. There is no "magic" camera or lens. - Really? I bet you swear by Lieca/Nikon/Canon 13. Better lenses don't give you better photos. - Err, yeah, they do. 14. Spend less time looking at other people's work and more time shooting your own. - No, keep looking, keep learning and keep being inspired and above all, steal. 15. Don't take your DSLR to parties. - OK, I won't, but please, keep taking yours so I know to avoid you. 16. Girls dig photographers. - Oh, rilly? And I thought it was my charm and boyish good looks, but now I know why you don't want ME taking my camera to parties. 17. Making your photos b/w doesn't automatically make them "artsy" - Kinda does. You just hate it cause it's easy. 18. People will always discredit your work if you tell them you "photoshop" your images. Rather, tell them that you process them in the "digital darkroom". Yeah and inkjet prints are "Giclée" Just tell the truth, you used that crack of PS5.5. TO PHOTOSHOP stuff. "Digital darkroom" is full retard for photographers. 19. You don't need to take a photo of everything. - OK, I understand. Show me everything, babe, then let's take pics of the bits I like the best? Would that be a better way to go? 20. Have at least 2 backups of all your images. Like they say in war, two is one, one is none. - And why is six scared? Because seven ate nine. Back up as little or as much as you want having thought through the consequenses. 21. Ditch the neck strap and get a handstrap. - Or a jockstrap because both are great for cocks. 22. Get closer when taking your photos, they often turn out better. - Yeah babe, so you dig me? 23. Be a part of a scene while taking a photo; not a voyeur. - Yeah babe, so you REALLY dig me? 24. Taking a photo crouched often make your photos look more interesting. Midget job opportunity! 25. Worry less about technical aspects and focus more on compositional aspects of photography. - No, know the tech inside out to the point you no longer have to think about it. 26. Tape up any logos on your camera with black gaffers tape - it brings a lot less attention to you. - Black camera tape is better - it's like masking tape, only black, less sticky and does help when passing customs. If you buy cameras abroad, post the boxes home too. 27. Always underexpose by 2/3rds of a stop when shooting in broad daylight. - Dude, your camera is fucked. 28. The more photos you take, the better you get. - Yes, practice improves a lot of things. Oh, the insight. 29. Don't be afraid to take several photos of the same scene at different exposures, angles, or apertures. - Well duh. Press the fucking button! Shoot and move, shoot and move. Work out later why some work and some don't. 30. Only show your best photos. - Now all you have to do is work out which ones they are. A clue; the amount of effort or cost involved isn't the measure. 31. A point-and-shoot is still a camera. - Was there ever a doubt? 32. Join an online photography forum. - But you said in item 8 I should get out more? 33. Critique the works of others. - I do, but only in my head and only to learn from them. If they're any good, they couldn't give less of a fuck what I think and certainly shouldn't listen to me, so why bother? 34. Think before you shoot. - Yes and no. Sometimes, just reacting is good too. 35. A good photo shouldn't require explanation (although background information often adds to an image).* - It's that you are thinking about captioning that's the problem 36. Alcohol and photography do not mix well. - Awww, shame. None of those girls who dig photogaphers so much want to get drunk, naked and trigger happy with you? Photographers aren't monks, they're regular people, with the same range of bad habits. 37. Draw inspiration from other photographers but never worship them. - But do it by looking at less of their photos, as per item 14. 38. Grain is beautiful. - It's a cheap trick that works, just like them artys B&W ones you sneer at. 39. Ditch the photo backpack and get a messenger bag. It makes getting your lenses and camera a whole lot easier. - Backpacks spread the weight evenly. They aren't great for working out of, but are a lot easier on your spine. 40. Simplicity is key. - Or complexity, whatever works for you. 41. The definition of photography is: "painting with light." Use light in your favor. - No, it's "Photography is the art, science and practice of creating durable images by recording light or other electromagnetic radiation, either electronically by means of an image sensor or chemically by means of a light-sensitive material such as photographic film." 42. Find your style of photography and stick with it. or don't. Move with the times, the gear and where your impulses take you. 43. Having a second monitor is the best thing ever for photo processing. I just don't care. 44. Silver EFEX pro is the best b/w converter. So you paint with light but only by colouring inside the lines using someone elses bag of tricks? 45. Carry your camera with you everywhere. Everywhere. No, I need to poop sometimes. And also remember, no DSLRs at parties. So many rules! 46. Never let photography get in the way of enjoying life. But don't foget you MUST carry that camera at all times. Maybe an off duty small calibre backup in an ankle holster? 47. Don't pamper your camera. Use and abuse it. Fuck off, it cost $10k and I make my living with it. 48. Take straight photos. Agreed, that gay shit is untoward. 49. Shoot with confidence. Aim for the head, and don't lead the women and children quite so much. |
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#24 |
Confirmed User
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50. Photography and juxtaposition are best friends. I have no idea what you mean, so I'll nod and say. "yes, I can see why you'd think that"
51. Print out your photos big. They will make you happy. Do you own Epson shares by chance? 52. Give your photos to friends. Here, have a huge print what I just done. It's a cat, sleeping. 53. Give them to strangers. It would break my bail conditions. 54. Don't forget to frame them. Bugger, too late. I forgot. 55. Costco prints are cheap and look great. Meth was on special today? 56. Go out and take photos with (a) friend(s). That sounds, hmmm, gay. 57. Join a photo club or start one for yourself. - I started one, applied but got rejected cause I'd stripped out the EXIF data. 58. Photos make great presents. - Specially for blind folks. It's the juxtaposition... 59. Taking photos of strangers is thrilling. - And possibly a crime. 60. Candid>Posed. - Pay for your models, cheapskate. 61. Natural light is the best light. - Unnatural light is spooky, specially that torch under your chin. Whatever light you have will do. Press the button. 62. 35mm (on full frame) is the best "walk-around" focal length. - Except when it's not. Enough with the rules. 63. Don't be afraid to bump up your ISO when necessary. - Do I look afraid? 64. You don't need to always bring a tripod with you everywhere you go (hell, I don't even own one). - OK, so it's camera all the time but no DSLR at parties, and tripod some of the time but not all of the time? I think I'm confused, I may need a rota or a matrix. 65. It is always better to underexpose than overexpose. - I'm gonna go with getting it just right, if that's OK with you. 66. Shooting photos of homeless people in an attempt to be "artsy" is exploitation. - Glad you cleared that up. Now I can shoot double anal of broke teens without the slightest bit of guilt. 67. You will find the best photo opportunities in the least likely situations. - I doubt it. 68. Photos are always more interesting with the human element included. - Agreed. I'm gonna go with cunt, arse and tits as my elements. What did you pick? Was I right? 69. You can't "photoshop" bad images into good ones. - Ah, trick question. You "digital darkroom" the bad ones into good ones. 70. Nowadays everybody is a photographer. Everyone gets everything he wants. I wanted a mission, and for my sins, they gave me one. 71. You don't need to fly to Paris to get good photos; the best photo opportunities are in your backyard. - Unless of course the photos you want are of Paris, in which case going to Paris is a must. Unless you live there already. 72. People with DSLRS who shoot portraits with their grip pointed downwards look like morons. - People who care how other people look while they take photos ARE morons. 73. Cameras as tools, not toys. - I'm pretty sure I know who's the tool. 74. In terms of composition, photography and painting aren't much different. - Serious moment. that's just bollocks, plain and simple. 75. Photography isn't a hobby- it's a lifestyle. - Stop making my job sound so gay! 76. Make photos, not excuses. - I would, but the dog ate my camera. 77. Be original in your photography. Don't try to copy the style of others. - Being original is overrated. Enoy whatever aspect of photography you like. There's as much fun in repeating a classic and executing it well as there is in "being creative" 78. The best photographs tell stories that begs the viewer for more. - Everyone loves a happy ending! Wink, wink. 79. Any cameras but black ones draw too much attention. - True, All ninjas know this and black will accessorize with almost any outfit, dharlink! 80. The more gear you carry around with you the less you will enjoy photography. - Depends on the gear. if it's good shit, it'll be fun, but remember more than 5 grams and it's not possible to plead that it's "personal" 81. Good self-portraits are harder to take than they seem. - Damn straight. Especially when the sitter is a moron who can't take direction. 82. Laughter always draws out peoples' true character in a photograph. - Tell yourself a joke or two while taking selfportraits to relax yourself and break the tension. 83. Don't look suspicious when taking photos- blend in with the environment. - Is face paint and Real Tree camo too much? 84. Landscape photography can become dull after a while. - No shit. 85. Have fun while taking photos. - That wrist strap means you can shoot one handed!!! 86. Never delete any of your photos. - Just don't back them up, much less effort to have a clear out that way. 87. Be respectful when taking photos of people or places. - I respectfully ask you to fist your ass. 88. When taking candid photos of people in the street, it is easier to use a wide-angle than a telephoto lens. 89. Travel and photography are the perfect pair. - People just say that in the hope you will go away. Far away. 90. Learn how to read a histogram. - Really read it. BE the histogram. 91. A noisy photo is better than a blurry one. - And light is better than hard because you can sleep with a light on. 92. Don't be afraid to take photos in the rain. - Once you've got over that, move on to photos in the dark. 93. Learn how to enjoy the moment, rather than relentlessly trying to capture the perfect picture of it. - This mostly applies to gonzo cum shots. 94. Never take photos on an empty stomach. - Photography is only for the young, strong and blonde! Hypos can kill, mkay. 95. You will discover a lot about yourself through your photography. - Mostly that you should hold your gut in while doing self portraits. 96. Never hoard your photographic insight- share it with the world. - Form a camera cult! 97. Never stop taking photos. - No, just take good ones. If you have nothing to say, shut the fuck up. Same goes with taking pics. 98. Photography is more than simply taking photos, it is a philosophy of life. - OK, you say the words but what does that mean? Sounds like bollocks to me... 99. Capture the decisive moment. - Just as it hits her tits. bugger, missed it. 100. Write your own list. OK. 1 Point. 2 Click. |
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#25 |
Confirmed User
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Why do you always put those three colons next to your thread titles?
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#26 |
Confirmed User
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Nice, thanks for sharing ;)
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#27 |
Too old to care
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: On the sofa, watching TV or doing my jigsaws.
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1. Just because someone has an expensive camera doesn't mean that they're a good photographer. - It also doesn't mean they're a bad one. What it means for sure is that they have more money than you, which makes them better at SOMETHING than you. 8. Go outside & shoot photos rather than spending hours a day on photography forums. - Pot, meet kettle. 9. Capture the beauty in the mundane and you have a winning photograph. - Or maybe a dull one. 14. Spend less time looking at other people's work and more time shooting your own. - No, keep looking, keep learning and keep being inspired and above all, steal. 16. Girls dig photographers. - Oh, rilly? And I thought it was my charm and boyish good looks, but now I know why you don't want ME taking my camera to parties. 23. Be a part of a scene while taking a photo; not a voyeur. - Yeah babe, so you REALLY dig me? 24. Taking a photo crouched often make your photos look more interesting. Midget job opportunity! 25. Worry less about technical aspects and focus more on compositional aspects of photography. - 29. Don't be afraid to take several photos of the same scene at different exposures, angles, or apertures. - Well duh. Press the fucking button! Shoot and move, shoot and move. Work out later why some work and some don't. 30. Only show your best photos. - Now all you have to do is work out which ones they are. A clue; the amount of effort or cost involved isn't the measure. 85. Have fun while taking photos. - That wrist strap means you can shoot one handed!!! 99. Capture the decisive moment. - Just as it hits her tits. bugger, missed it. Shortened list. |
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#28 |
Too old to care
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: On the sofa, watching TV or doing my jigsaws.
Posts: 52,943
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101. If you want the best from her, give her your best.
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#29 |
Too lazy to set a custom title
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: A magical land
Posts: 15,808
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#30 |
Unregistered Abuser
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Posts: 25,633
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#31 |
Too old to care
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Location: On the sofa, watching TV or doing my jigsaws.
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![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I was clowning and she was laughing at me. Which was the only way to get over her nervousness. We were the first to shoot her. 1 Tip from an ex professional pornographer. 1. The most difficult thing to get right when shooting porn. Is the model. The rest is a piece of cake. |
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#32 |
Liv Benson to You, Bitch
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Maryland and WV
Posts: 6,060
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Now we are talking. Thanks almighty Paul.
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#33 | |
Too lazy to set a custom title
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Posts: 15,808
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Quote:
Everyone else sees a dirty old man perving unprofessionally over a model, and the model looking terrified of you and uncomfortable when you try and cop a free feel. The mind is amazing the way it can distort the truth. The camera never lies, but the mind certainly does. |
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#34 |
So Fucking Banned
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: On the Beach
Posts: 673
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A lot of those tips are bullshit and only that idiots opinion LOL
Lens dont make better photos is the worst tip on the list. He should tell Canon and Nikon to not make high end lenses anymore. LOL |
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