Just had the craziest morning.

[DWB]

I went out to get a bite to eat when I came across 2 white guys fighting with 1 Thai girl (who was clearly beaten) and 1 motorbike taxi driver. When I pulled up, it was all verbal and the guy turned out to be DRUNK Russians with hardly any English or Thai language ability. The Thais could hardly speak English and not a word of Russian.

The cops finally came, and of course they could not communicate with the guys, and everyone kept asking me to help them. I only assume because I'm white that the Thais thought I could speak Russian. I can't, but I tried my best to communicate.

Long story short, the girl was 3 months pregnant and agreed to fuck 1 of the Russian guys in a short time hotel. His friend when, then afterwards he wanted to fuck her too. She refused, he kicked her ass and took her phone so she could not call the police. They beat the girl pretty bad. They ran out of the hotel, she followed and yelled for help, hence the taxi driver.

Since I was the only one communicating on all sides, the Thais told me how much money the girl wanted to make it all go away. The cop did not want to do the paperwork so he asked me to get it resolved on the spot. Somehow, I worked it all out and the guys walked away with only a $300 USD hit, while the girl got her ass kicked and lost her phone.

The cop tells me the guys can go, so I told them to get the hell out of dodge while they still could, as I was still not 100% sure which side was telling the truth. They left quickly.

As soon as they were out of sight, the taxi driver takes the money from the girl, three $100 bills, and gives the girl 1, the cop 1, and himself 1. Since I did almost all of the work, I asked where mine was, and the cop told me he would remember me and if he ever catches me doing something wrong, he'll let it slide. Fair enough, I know how the game works.

The girl and the taxi get on the taxi's scooter and drive off. The cop gets on his scooter, starts to drive off but drives ACROSS traffic and gets PLOWED by a speeding car!!!!!!!

Now I'm a witness to 2 DRUNK Thai guys who just ran over a cop. Lucky for the drunk Thais, the cop was not killed, he was just banged up, but his bike was toast. More cops came, took money from the drunk Thai guys (couldn't tell how much), split it up, put the cops in the back of a truck with his bike and everyone went on their way.

It's a beautiful morning at this point so I decided to take the long way home and drive along the beach. Along the beach are concrete benches. One of of these benches is some Thai guy, naked as a fucking J-Bird, laying back, beating his meat. Morning joggers are running by and desperate whores who didn't get a trick are sitting near by, and those dude is just working it, buck ass naked. Amazing.

Needless to say, I made it home in one piece, but it's only 7:12am... can't wait to see what the rest of this day will bring.

[alias]

I know this is going to be good, reading now.

[signupdamnit]

Damn.....

[alias]

Hardcore, truly a cool story!

[pentae]

DWB, I'm surprised you don't speak 7 languages

[docputer]

Another average day in Thailand? Glad you didn't witness anyone dying.

[Spunky]

Cash is king in all countries lol

[alias]

Forgot to say, have a good rest of the day.

[oscer]

Wow good times I guess

[munki]

I will be first in line to buy the book you are destined to write.

[SallyRand]

Originally Posted by DirtyWhiteBoy

I went out to get a bite to eat when I came across 2 white guys fighting with 1 Thai girl (who was clearly beaten) and 1 motorbike taxi driver. When I pulled up, it was all verbal and the guy turned out to be DRUNK Russians with hardly any English or Thai language ability. The Thais could hardly speak English and not a word of Russian.

The cops finally came, and of course they could not communicate with the guys, and everyone kept asking me to help them. I only assume because I'm white that the Thais thought I could speak Russian. I can't, but I tried my best to communicate.

Long story short, the girl was 3 months pregnant and agreed to fuck 1 of the Russian guys in a short time hotel. His friend when, then afterwards he wanted to fuck her too. She refused, he kicked her ass and took her phone so she could not call the police. They beat the girl pretty bad. They ran out of the hotel, she followed and yelled for help, hence the taxi driver.

Since I was the only one communicating on all sides, the Thais told me how much money the girl wanted to make it all go away. The cop did not want to do the paperwork so he asked me to get it resolved on the spot. Somehow, I worked it all out and the guys walked away with only a $300 USD hit, while the girl got her ass kicked and lost her phone.

The cop tells me the guys can go, so I told them to get the hell out of dodge while they still could, as I was still not 100% sure which side was telling the truth. They left quickly.

As soon as they were out of sight, the taxi driver takes the money from the girl, three $100 bills, and gives the girl 1, the cop 1, and himself 1. Since I did almost all of the work, I asked where mine was, and the cop told me he would remember me and if he ever catches me doing something wrong, he'll let it slide. Fair enough, I know how the game works.

The girl and the taxi get on the taxi's scooter and drive off. The cop gets on his scooter, starts to drive off but drives ACROSS traffic and gets PLOWED by a speeding car!!!!!!!

Now I'm a witness to 2 DRUNK Thai guys who just ran over a cop. Lucky for the drunk Thais, the cop was not killed, he was just banged up, but his bike was toast. More cops came, took money from the drunk Thai guys (couldn't tell how much), split it up, put the cops in the back of a truck with his bike and everyone went on their way.

It's a beautiful morning at this point so I decided to take the long way home and drive along the beach. Along the beach are concrete benches. One of of these benches is some Thai guy, naked as a fucking J-Bird, laying back, beating his meat. Morning joggers are running by and desperate whores who didn't get a trick are sitting near by, and those dude is just working it, buck ass naked. Amazing.

Needless to say, I made it home in one piece, but it's only 7:12am... can't wait to see what the rest of this day will bring.

I think I would have gone home, gone back to bed, tried for a restart and considered the whole thing to have been a bad dream!

[Qbert]

Events like that remind us that life isn't about the destination, it's about the journey.

[DWB]

Originally Posted by pentae

DWB, I'm surprised you don't speak 7 languages

I'm not "fluent" in any, but I can get to where I need to go in a lot of them.

[NickB.]

gotta love asia

[Deej]

Originally Posted by SallyRand

I think I would have gone home, gone back to bed, tried for a restart and considered the whole thing to have been a bad dream!

Well thats the difference between DWB and you ( well, a lot of people)

DWB is probably tipping his head down just a little and charging in for more...



Theres gotta be some spiked dog heads somewhere in here...

[Fucksakes]

yup sure love that place, all you need to do for entertainment is just walk around... I was there for almost a month and I got a million stories.. yet if you asked me what happened here in the last month.. I couldn't make up enough bullshit to equal my time in thailand.

[DWB]

Originally Posted by docputer

Another average day in Thailand?

Lots of accidents here. Too many really.

A few nights ago I witnessed another motorbike taxi, with 2 hookers on the back. He ran a red light and got clipped by another bike going the other way. Since it was just a clip and not a direct hit, it spun them off, all in different directions... whores went flying and sliding across the pavement. Minus some road rash, everyone was OK, but it was funny to watch. Not every day do you see hookers flying through the air.

In the past 30 days I've either witnessed first hand or drove up on shortly after, around 5 or 6 accidents. Only one of them looked like it was fatal. The worst I've ever seen here (years back) was a speeding truck clip a girl who was walking on the side of the road with his mirror. Her head just opened up and spilled into the road. The Thais put her brains in a cardboard box and put it with her dead body in the back of another pick-up and drove off. I saw the whole thing go down. It was gruesome. Never, ever forget that one.

[SallyRand]

Originally Posted by Deej

Well thats the difference between DWB and you ( well, a lot of people)

DWB is probably tipping his head down just a little and charging in for more...



Theres gotta be some spiked dog heads somewhere in here...

Nah, I like living on the edge but some events do require reflection and serious consideration before moving on to bigger and better things.

[HomerSimpson]

another lovely Thai story...

[Jim_Gunn]

You go out for breakfast at 7am?

[Prof. Woland]

what an epic drama!

[Dvae]

Post pix or it didn't happen!!

[DWB]

Originally Posted by Jim_Gunn

You go out for breakfast at 7am?

I'm not usually out (or awake) at that God forsaken hour, but the past 2 weeks I've been on a screw ball sleeping schedule and not crashing until the early afternoon, or later. I struggle with insomnia sometimes and when it kicks in, my sleep goes to hell.

[Socks]

Do you ever get robbed? What's the strategy...

[DWB]

Originally Posted by Socks

Do you ever get robbed? What's the strategy...

I would need a definition of "robbed" before I can answer that question.

Robbed could mean, home invasion, bribe to police, mugged by a couple of dudes, hooker stole my phone, pick pocket, held up at gun point, car jacked, and so on, all having a drastically different ending and a way to deal with them.

[Socks]

Let's start with mugged/gunpoint/carjacked... ;)

[GAMEFINEST]

you are my idol

[nekrom]

lolol you have the best stories. I remember you posting a few years back about the brain story as well. :/

-N

[CYF]

Originally Posted by munki

I will be first in line to buy the book you are destined to write.

I'd buy that one too

[k0nr4d]

I'll take a copy of that book as well.

[pamon]

awesome times in thailand. DWB where in Thailand u at? Done bangkok and pattaya myself on previous vacations. fun times.

[DWB]

Originally Posted by Socks

Let's start with mugged/gunpoint/carjacked... ;)

Had a gun pulled on me in Bogotá, Colombia. I did what he said and gave him my money.

Was robbed my NEEDLE point in Salvador, Brazil. This guy walked up to me, caught me off guard, put his arm around me and with his other hand held a blood filled needle close to my stomach. He said he had HIV and that was his blood, if I didn't give him my money, he would inject me. No brainer.

The trick is... NEVER CARRY MORE THAN YOU ARE WILLING TO LOSE.

Another trick is, have 2 pockets full of money. One pocket has money enough to get you through the day but not more than you are willing to lose. The other pocket has "throw money." That means, its a bunch of small notes that you can toss into the air or at someone. It is a great distraction for those desperate for money, as they don't know how much it is. It may give you time to get away.

I never wear jewelry, never wear a watch, and if I'm in a poor area I never dress like I have money. That doesn't stop some criminals, but it helps not make you a target for most. These days in Thailand I carry pepper spray and blast anyone who invades my personal space and makes me feel threatened. I'm proactive on this, no chances. Only had to do it a few times, but one time in particular, it saved me from getting jumped by about 10 Thai guys (Thais never fight one on one). They all got blasted and I escaped, spraying behind me as I sped off on my scooter. Have not been back to that street since. lol

[DWB]

Originally Posted by munki

I will be first in line to buy the book you are destined to write.

Man, I'd love to write a book. Something fast paced about travel, whore mongering, and shooting porn in crazy countries. No idea how to get published though or how to even start.

[Jakez]

Originally Posted by DirtyWhiteBoy

Since I did almost all of the work, I asked where mine was, and the cop told me he would remember me and if he ever catches me doing something wrong, he'll let it slide.
...
The cop gets on his scooter, starts to drive off but drives ACROSS traffic and gets PLOWED by a speeding car!!!!!!!

Instant karma?

[nico-t]

Originally Posted by DirtyWhiteBoy

The other pocket has "throw money." That means, its a bunch of small notes that you can toss into the air or at someone. It is a great distraction for those desperate for money, as they don't know how much it is. It may give you time to get away.

the original story was just too fucking funny but these little bits of hilarious techniques are just genious throw money

[munki]

Originally Posted by DirtyWhiteBoy

Man, I'd love to write a book. Something fast paced about travel, whore mongering, and shooting porn in crazy countries. No idea how to get published though or how to even start.

Semantics... you can self publish on Amazon nowadays... Sit down... map out a timeline... start writing... Censor some of the "will get you in trouble" shit, and leave it for the unabridged version after you pass, and have at the mother fucker. I'll pre-volunteer my editing services just to get my hands on it...

[DWB]

Originally Posted by Jakez

Instant karma?

INSTANT! Like 30 seconds.

Originally Posted by nico-t

the original story was just too fucking funny but these little bits of hilarious techniques are just genious throw money

It's all about survival man. It's usually pretty safe traveling around tourist destinations, but you never know what you're going to get into once you go off the beaten path or make one wrong turn.

Originally Posted by munki

Semantics... you can self publish on Amazon nowadays... Sit down... map out a timeline... start writing... Censor some of the "will get you in trouble" shit, and leave it for the unabridged version after you pass, and have at the mother fucker. I'll pre-volunteer my editing services just to get my hands on it.

Yea, I really should start putting stuff together. Would be fun just to dig up all those old memories.

[seeandsee]

no tranny mentioned? it's not Thailand

[AzteK]

Originally Posted by seeandsee

no tranny mentioned? it's not Thailand

but that's already assumed isn't it?

[Sarah_Jayne]

When is the last boring day you had?

[Socks]

Originally Posted by DirtyWhiteBoy

Had a gun pulled on me in Bogotá, Colombia. I did what he said and gave him my money....

I've thought about moving to Mexico City many times, and wondered how I'd react to getting robbed.. You bring up a really good point about how much you're willing to lose.. I mean all my planning and pre-strategy might go right the fuck out the window if I found myself with a lot more money than usual on me.. Really need to consider that.

I figure I'd carry a gun and only use it to protect my family, on some only pull it if you're gonna use it shit. Car? Yours. Shoes? Let me tie them for you. Wallet? PLEASE I've only been holding it until you came back, SIR! But you want my child? Eat bullets bitch.

In reality, I guess the prospect of years in jail for just having a gun would probably send me down the road you speak of, of just trying to blend in and not act like a jackass. But with the kidnappings and all, I don't know how I could not have a gun on me.. I dunno.

Great idea on the pepperspray too, and the throw money.. lol.. It's true though, there's lots of kinds of criminals, and some of them just need their next fix.

One probably really important thing is to have an idea of what you should do in certain situations though, rather than trying to improvise on the spot. If someone gets in your face, the natural reaction is probably to freeze and panic.. The only way to not panic is to have rehearsed that scenario 50x beforehand. So next time you're on the subway you're thinking.. If that guy over that got out of his seat and did whatever, what would I do? So when it actually happens, you just do without thinking.

Security is so expected over here, it's too easy to take it for granted when we're travelling.

[Platinumpimp]

Can only assume thats Pattaya still where u are at?

[AsianDivaGirlsWebDude]

We seriously have to go whoring together in Thailand someday, so that I can hear firsthand more of your tuk tuk tales...

ADG

[Rankings]

that is bonkers

[gmr324]

The worst I've ever seen here (years back) was a speeding truck clip a girl who was walking on the side of the road with his mirror. Her head just opened up and spilled into the road. The Thais put her brains in a cardboard box and put it with her dead body in the back of another pick-up and drove off. I saw the whole thing go down. It was gruesome. Never, ever forget that one.

That is nasty

[MrBottomTooth]

Man, that place sounds like a shithole.

[suesheboy]

I will never go there and anywhere else like that. Done with my adventure years.

[John-ACWM]

I've seen and heard many but I was reading your story with my mouth open, couldn't believe it great book material.

[Kenny B!]

I think I know where I want to go on my next vacation, that story is nuts!

[Jman]

Great read right there, thanks for sharing DWB