Letterman was having a field day with Saddam last night - GoFuckYourself.com

Amputate Your Head · 12-16-2003, 08:02 PM

anyone else catch that shit last night? wish I had it recorded.... definately a classic show.

Stud Money · 12-16-2003, 08:03 PM

nah missed it

Juicy D. Links · 12-16-2003, 08:03 PM

I cant stand letterman , i only watch leno

Amputate Your Head · 12-16-2003, 08:04 PM

Top Ten Questions Asked By Saddam Hussein When He Was Captured

10. "Be honest...have you ever seen a nicer spider hole than this?"

9. "Who's got a coat hanger -- this beard itches like a son of a bitch!"

8. "Anyone have a mint?"

7. "Is this about the illegal music downloads?"

6. "Am I going to be on 'Cops'?"

5. "Which describes me better right now -- 'haggard' or 'grizzled'?"

4. "How did you get past my impenetrable styrofoam brick?"

3. "Do I get the 25-million-dollar reward?"

2. "How's the war going?"

1. "Will you go easy on me if I tell you where Martha Stewart is hiding?"

Head · 12-16-2003, 08:05 PM

Letterman's funny i use to watch him all the time!

RedShoe · 12-16-2003, 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Amputate Your Head
Top Ten Questions Asked By Saddam Hussein When He Was Captured

10. "Be honest...have you ever seen a nicer spider hole than this?"

9. "Who's got a coat hanger -- this beard itches like a son of a bitch!"

8. "Anyone have a mint?"

7. "Is this about the illegal music downloads?"

6. "Am I going to be on 'Cops'?"

5. "Which describes me better right now -- 'haggard' or 'grizzled'?"

4. "How did you get past my impenetrable styrofoam brick?"

3. "Do I get the 25-million-dollar reward?"

2. "How's the war going?"

1. "Will you go easy on me if I tell you where Martha Stewart is hiding?"

well it finally happened. Someone mark the time and the date. The Maui sun has finally fried your brain.

Yanks_Todd · 12-16-2003, 08:07 PM

that's funny! Man, could you imagine what his breath must have smelled like? That dude who was poking around in his mouth should get a purple heart.

Amputate Your Head · 12-16-2003, 08:10 PM

A Day in the Life of Saddam Hussein:

9:00 AM - Receives "Sorry You Got Caught" FTD bouquet from Osama.

10:00 AM - Saddam asks White House if the pre-war offer of exile is still available.

11:00 AM - To encourage him to cooperate, Saddam placed in a room with Richard Simmons.

11:15 AM - Receives call from confused President Bush saying, "Hang in there, buddy. We'll have you outta there in no time."

11:30 AM - Saddam defeats Khalid Shaikh Mohammed to win 'Most Awkward Capture Photo" Award.

Noon - Al Gore announces he's endorsing Saddam

12:30 PM - Asks that his lunch ration not include bread since he's on the South Beach diet.

1:00 PM - David Blaine announces he'll attempt to spend 6 weeks in Saddam's bunker

5:00 PM - Tapes guest spot on "The Tonight Show"

6:00 PM - Calls Johnnie Cochran. Asks him to start thinking of rhymes for 'Weapons of Mass Destruction"

7:00 PM - Awkward silence among U.S. officers when Saddam asks, "So, what have Uday and Qusay been up to?"

Amputate Your Head · 12-16-2003, 08:14 PM

The capture of Saddam is great news for Iraq, America, and the Bush reelection bid. The Democrats have already come out with this response.

"On Saturday, United States troops carried out a raid in Tikrit, capturing a bearded, disheveled man whom they insist is Saddam Hussein. (see photo of Saddam) Or is it? Look, kids: Bush arrested Santa. Vote Howard Dean in 2004."

Amputate Your Head · 12-16-2003, 08:32 PM

Strange world.... one day you're the leader of Iraq, the next you're being checked for fleas on FOX News.... lol

Amputate Your Head · 12-16-2003, 08:50 PM

this is funny quality shit you bastards

kristin · 12-16-2003, 08:54 PM

I love Letterman! He was on a roll last night, some were pretty good too, but after awhile there are too many Saddam jokes.

Triple 6 · 12-16-2003, 09:03 PM

thanks for the laughs Amp.... i used to watch Letterman all the time, but when he moved to cbs he wasnt quite the same, been watching Conan and Leno mostly ever since. But I heard Letterman is getting better now....

funny stuff no doubt.

Rich · 12-16-2003, 09:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Amputate Your Head

7. "Is this about the illegal music downloads?"

that's the only funny one though

bill555 · 12-16-2003, 09:28 PM

Lettermen use to go out and do funny shit. driving around, going to houses, etc.

Lettermen is the master of skits and using his staff.

Leno is a comic. He is just there to make you laugh during his jokes.

Lettermen is a better interviewer.

His announcer Alan is very funny.

BUt lettermen gets old.

MarinersFan · 12-16-2003, 09:29 PM

Here are Letterman's Jokes from last night:

Over the weekend I was putting lights on the house and mom runs out of the house yelling, "They caught the bastard! They caught the bastard!?

We captured Saddam Hussein. He was found hiding in a hole, a little six by eight foot hole with a shaft for ventilation. Here in New York City we call that the subway.

Saddam was dirty, not bathed, he had a scraggly beard, had cash and a pistol on him, and several packages of new underwear ? I tell you it?s like I have a twin!

He had a long beard and was confused and disoriented. It?s the same condition that Al Gore was in before he endorsed Howard Dean.

One day you?re the leader of Iraq and the next day you?re seen having fleas picked out of your hair on Fox News.

What was amazing and surprising was that he just gave himself up ? Michael Jackson put up more of a fight than this guy!

Did you see Saddam? He was a wreck, he needed cleaned up. What they did was give him an emergency queer makeover.

Amputate Your Head · 12-16-2003, 09:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Rich

that's the only funny one though

i thought this one was the best:
4. "How did you get past my impenetrable styrofoam brick?"

MarinersFan · 12-16-2003, 09:32 PM

And for all you Leno fans ....

Here are Leno's jokes from last night:

Happy Groundhog Day, everyone!

"America?s most-wanted groundhog?, Saddam Hussein captured in Iraq over the weekend. Great job America?s Army! As I?m sure you know by now, he was captured in a hole under a farmhouse. Apparently he was doing the Iraqi version of "The Simple Life?.

You know it?s ironic that they found him in a hole. Since the word "a**hole? has been used to describe him so many times.

In fact when they found him in that hole, Dick Cheney wanted to know, "how deep was the hole?? And "was there any oil in it??

It seems he was turned in by family members. Man, you thought you didn?t get along with your family members during the holidays.

The rumor was that he was brutalized during the arrest. That was according to his brother, Jermaine Hussein.

They showed video of Hussein being inspected by a doctor. And then they took a DNA sample from him. Which had to be humiliating. One day your president of the country the next day you?re being forced to give a DNA sample. And Clinton said, "tell me about it.?

At the time of his capture, he had $750,000 in cash on him. They think he may have been trying to buy three gallons of gas from Halliburton.

Reaction coming in from all over the world to Saddam Hussein?s capture. The British government praised the U.S. The Spanish government said it was a great day. And the French government praised Saddam for the way he surrendered. "We couldn?t have done it so quickly ourselves.?

You know, I tell ya, it shows what a coward this guy is. Saddam always said he would never been taken alive. Even though he had a couple guns on him, he didn?t struggle, he didn?t try to run. He gave no resistance at all. Hey, even Glen Campbell put up a bigger fight when he got arrested. At least glen kneed the cop a little.

In fact when he was captured he was surrounded by the only nine remaining people who didn?t want him caught ? the Democratic presidential candidates.

It?s an amazing story. What a downfall that is, he went from living in a palace to living in a little two-room mud hut with just a few clothes. Or as guys in Beverly Hills call it ? divorce!

Of course now there will be all kinds of charges brought against him. Hopefully the Santa Barbara D.A. will not be handling the case.

You go through the whole sequence of public events. The indictment, the trial, the sentencing, the appeals, and of course, the tearful interview with Barbara Walters.

And listen to this?more good news for the government, earlier today they found Martha Stewart hiding in a hole in Connecticut.

12-16-2003, 08:02 PM	#1
Amputate Your Head There can be only one Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Somewhere else Posts: 39,075	Letterman was having a field day with Saddam last night anyone else catch that shit last night? wish I had it recorded.... definately a classic show. __________________ SIG TOO BIG

12-16-2003, 08:04 PM	#4
Amputate Your Head There can be only one Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Somewhere else Posts: 39,075	Top Ten Questions Asked By Saddam Hussein When He Was Captured 10. "Be honest...have you ever seen a nicer spider hole than this?" 9. "Who's got a coat hanger -- this beard itches like a son of a bitch!" 8. "Anyone have a mint?" 7. "Is this about the illegal music downloads?" 6. "Am I going to be on 'Cops'?" 5. "Which describes me better right now -- 'haggard' or 'grizzled'?" 4. "How did you get past my impenetrable styrofoam brick?" 3. "Do I get the 25-million-dollar reward?" 2. "How's the war going?" 1. "Will you go easy on me if I tell you where Martha Stewart is hiding?" __________________ SIG TOO BIG

12-16-2003, 08:05 PM	#5
Head Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Starship Enterprise Posts: 8,278	Letterman's funny i use to watch him all the time! __________________

12-16-2003, 08:07 PM	#7
Yanks_Todd Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Valencia Posts: 2,490	that's funny! Man, could you imagine what his breath must have smelled like? That dude who was poking around in his mouth should get a purple heart. __________________ Todd Spaits - Co-founder -YanksCash Premium ad-packages available - Skype for details - tmspaits

12-16-2003, 08:10 PM	#8
Amputate Your Head There can be only one Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Somewhere else Posts: 39,075	A Day in the Life of Saddam Hussein: 9:00 AM - Receives "Sorry You Got Caught" FTD bouquet from Osama. 10:00 AM - Saddam asks White House if the pre-war offer of exile is still available. 11:00 AM - To encourage him to cooperate, Saddam placed in a room with Richard Simmons. 11:15 AM - Receives call from confused President Bush saying, "Hang in there, buddy. We'll have you outta there in no time." 11:30 AM - Saddam defeats Khalid Shaikh Mohammed to win 'Most Awkward Capture Photo" Award. Noon - Al Gore announces he's endorsing Saddam 12:30 PM - Asks that his lunch ration not include bread since he's on the South Beach diet. 1:00 PM - David Blaine announces he'll attempt to spend 6 weeks in Saddam's bunker 5:00 PM - Tapes guest spot on "The Tonight Show" 6:00 PM - Calls Johnnie Cochran. Asks him to start thinking of rhymes for 'Weapons of Mass Destruction" 7:00 PM - Awkward silence among U.S. officers when Saddam asks, "So, what have Uday and Qusay been up to?" __________________ SIG TOO BIG

12-16-2003, 08:03 PM	#2
Stud Money So Fucking Banned Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Somewhere between my monitor and my chair Posts: 3,214	nah missed it

12-16-2003, 08:03 PM	#3
Juicy D. Links So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: N.Y. -Long Island -- Posts: 122,992	I cant stand letterman , i only watch leno

12-16-2003, 08:14 PM	#9
Amputate Your Head There can be only one Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Somewhere else Posts: 39,075	The capture of Saddam is great news for Iraq, America, and the Bush reelection bid. The Democrats have already come out with this response. "On Saturday, United States troops carried out a raid in Tikrit, capturing a bearded, disheveled man whom they insist is Saddam Hussein. (see photo of Saddam) Or is it? Look, kids: Bush arrested Santa. Vote Howard Dean in 2004." __________________ SIG TOO BIG

12-16-2003, 08:32 PM	#10
Amputate Your Head There can be only one Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Somewhere else Posts: 39,075	Strange world.... one day you're the leader of Iraq, the next you're being checked for fleas on FOX News.... lol __________________ SIG TOO BIG

12-16-2003, 08:50 PM	#11
Amputate Your Head There can be only one Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Somewhere else Posts: 39,075	this is funny quality shit you bastards __________________ SIG TOO BIG

12-16-2003, 08:54 PM	#12
kristin GOO! Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Back Home : ) Posts: 9,768	I love Letterman! He was on a roll last night, some were pretty good too, but after awhile there are too many Saddam jokes. __________________ Vacares rules. "Usually only fat guys have the kind of knowledge and ability that Kristin has."

12-16-2003, 09:03 PM	#13
Triple 6 Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: isN'T everything Posts: 5,394	thanks for the laughs Amp.... i used to watch Letterman all the time, but when he moved to cbs he wasnt quite the same, been watching Conan and Leno mostly ever since. But I heard Letterman is getting better now.... funny stuff no doubt. __________________ SIG TOO SMALL! Maximum 1200x600 button and no more than 30 text lines of ALL SIZES and COLORS. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 6240x4800 instead of a 1024x800.

12-16-2003, 09:28 PM	#15
bill555 Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 101	Lettermen use to go out and do funny shit. driving around, going to houses, etc. Lettermen is the master of skits and using his staff. Leno is a comic. He is just there to make you laugh during his jokes. Lettermen is a better interviewer. His announcer Alan is very funny. BUt lettermen gets old.

12-16-2003, 09:29 PM	#16
MarinersFan Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Seattle Posts: 121	Here are Letterman's Jokes from last night: Over the weekend I was putting lights on the house and mom runs out of the house yelling, "They caught the bastard! They caught the bastard!? We captured Saddam Hussein. He was found hiding in a hole, a little six by eight foot hole with a shaft for ventilation. Here in New York City we call that the subway. Saddam was dirty, not bathed, he had a scraggly beard, had cash and a pistol on him, and several packages of new underwear ? I tell you it?s like I have a twin! He had a long beard and was confused and disoriented. It?s the same condition that Al Gore was in before he endorsed Howard Dean. One day you?re the leader of Iraq and the next day you?re seen having fleas picked out of your hair on Fox News. What was amazing and surprising was that he just gave himself up ? Michael Jackson put up more of a fight than this guy! Did you see Saddam? He was a wreck, he needed cleaned up. What they did was give him an emergency queer makeover.

12-16-2003, 09:32 PM	#18
MarinersFan Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Seattle Posts: 121	And for all you Leno fans .... Here are Leno's jokes from last night: Happy Groundhog Day, everyone! "America?s most-wanted groundhog?, Saddam Hussein captured in Iraq over the weekend. Great job America?s Army! As I?m sure you know by now, he was captured in a hole under a farmhouse. Apparently he was doing the Iraqi version of "The Simple Life?. You know it?s ironic that they found him in a hole. Since the word "a**hole? has been used to describe him so many times. In fact when they found him in that hole, Dick Cheney wanted to know, "how deep was the hole?? And "was there any oil in it?? It seems he was turned in by family members. Man, you thought you didn?t get along with your family members during the holidays. The rumor was that he was brutalized during the arrest. That was according to his brother, Jermaine Hussein. They showed video of Hussein being inspected by a doctor. And then they took a DNA sample from him. Which had to be humiliating. One day your president of the country the next day you?re being forced to give a DNA sample. And Clinton said, "tell me about it.? At the time of his capture, he had $750,000 in cash on him. They think he may have been trying to buy three gallons of gas from Halliburton. Reaction coming in from all over the world to Saddam Hussein?s capture. The British government praised the U.S. The Spanish government said it was a great day. And the French government praised Saddam for the way he surrendered. "We couldn?t have done it so quickly ourselves.? You know, I tell ya, it shows what a coward this guy is. Saddam always said he would never been taken alive. Even though he had a couple guns on him, he didn?t struggle, he didn?t try to run. He gave no resistance at all. Hey, even Glen Campbell put up a bigger fight when he got arrested. At least glen kneed the cop a little. In fact when he was captured he was surrounded by the only nine remaining people who didn?t want him caught ? the Democratic presidential candidates. It?s an amazing story. What a downfall that is, he went from living in a palace to living in a little two-room mud hut with just a few clothes. Or as guys in Beverly Hills call it ? divorce! Of course now there will be all kinds of charges brought against him. Hopefully the Santa Barbara D.A. will not be handling the case. You go through the whole sequence of public events. The indictment, the trial, the sentencing, the appeals, and of course, the tearful interview with Barbara Walters. And listen to this?more good news for the government, earlier today they found Martha Stewart hiding in a hole in Connecticut.